He sent me these texts

Not directed at anybody here…just a lot about neediness lately, everywhere. It’s like a disease that nobody wants to be around.

I miss my hookup lover dude, but I have to be strong next time he texts me, I cannot cave. He disrespected me by taking a call from another woman in front of me. I can’t forget that because he will likely outdo himself in the future, and I don’t want to experience how outrageous the next thing in store for me is…I want to keep my good memories of my special 3 year love affair (not an affair, we were both single and free) that started out as a one night stand. It was special and did mean something.

Lol. Dauny this line made my night!!!”The little shit that I could have picked up and thrown his 5’5? ass out the window” bahahahaha. I was seriously dying laughing reading that one. Lol. And yeah, boy memories are the best sometimes. But all good, you’ll find a good guy who you can make better memories with :)

He is creating drama at where you work. A place where you cannot readily respond and he knows it. This is abusive emotionally.

He could be a man and talk with you when you can respond…when you can say what you really think and feel.

He is putting out the message that he will have nothing ahead of him….no understanding no nothing. He is very seriously looking for your attention. We all become children when our needs are not met…oh, maybe not on the surface if we are mature…but deep down we throw those tantrums…

It is up to you – if you want to fix this he needs your undivided attention when he is not asking for it…he needs you to show him that he takes a front seat with you. You need to carve out extra time to spend with him beyond what you are doing now…tell him you want to see him unexpectedly – that you miss his presence. Go out of your way to make him feel special…plan small things you can do for him that make him know you are always thinking of him…such as sending him emails with articles of interests he has. Make sure you give him admiration on a regular basis…

Otherwise, it would be best to end this…speaking logically to a “need” will not work…it is a “need” and does not go away.

Half day gone. I wonder if I should call and check on him or leave him for a day to absorb . I read on how to help people with depression but I am unsure of frequency of being around them or specially when it’s your bf who almost broke up with you yesterday !! Anyone ?

Men get exhilarated after sex. Like an injection of manliness booster. We feel used when they do this. I handle it by always leaving first or telling them I’ve got stuff to do and he can’t stay. If I found a man I would not have to do this with, I would not do it, but if I’m afraid they are going to pull that on me, I don’t give them a chance. However, he sounds like he has a depression problem. Depressed people are often very selfish. Men generally don’t need to cuddle after sex. Cause they’re done! For the time being. Either way, do not feel used by him. Was it satisfying for you? Rhetorical question. If so, you weren’t a usage victim. If not, be glad he gave you a break. You’ve got your hands full with this one. Take care of yourself…he’s not your husband that you vowed for better or worse.

They can also be emotionally and physically abusive. I’m wondering if you could call some kind of hotline. Even maybe a suicide hotline…not that he’s suicidal, but maybe they could advise you

He looks very satisfied to me, by the way he is behaving !! I am right here, available, but he is rallying somewhere or having fun. Whereas just two days back he was crying, blowing up my phone, made me stay up all night. Stressed me out at work for two continuous days!!! And now that I do have time and I want him he is not bothered!!

Hi anon,
I would suggest you take a deep look in other behavioural signs he shows. Red curley sue said that he is emotionally abusive and that’s what i was thinking as well. He wants you on on a rollercoaster, maybe because he is unhappy himself. But i doubt he is there for you now. I would rethink things that have happened in the relationship to see if there are more red flags. You also stated somewhere, that he would punish you in bed. I’m not sure what you meant by that, could be a joke, but if he tries to play a lot of mindgames its usually a sign that the guy is either immature, unsecure or controlling/narcisist. I wouldn’t talk to him for now and let him choke in it for a bit.

Didn’t you say that he has very busy schedule as well. you need to talk to him and explain to him that it’s hard for you as well and you’re going to the same thing he has you just being selfish this is just my opinion

Or she’s easily manipulated…

To be manipulative or get manipulated, its sort of the same thing. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you can get blindsighted even if you’re not easily manipulated. I fell for a ton of tricks stunts and gameplay, because i just wasnt ready. It can happen, i could write a book about it now. The good thing is, you can learn from it and walk away.

Anon isn’t being manipulative, I don’t see that at all here. She’s got a genuine at least partial psycho she’s dealing with. If he punishes you in bed, that is a bad sign. One guy I was with admitted he liked playing with me. Got pleasure from tormenting me. When I inadvertently figured out how to flip the script, it’s like he realized it in bed after one round of gymnastic sex. He literally said, I’ll teach you to try that again. All I had done was get him to commit to seeing me that night cause he kept playing this game he always does which is tease me with sex talk texts and then masterbate (TMI). The way he punished me was to give me a solid panel of hickies on my lower abdomen. It was bruised for a long time. Showed my friends, it looked like I’d had a bowling ball dropped on me. Wasn’t painful but it looked like it. I figured that was my punishment for making him see me. Oh yeah, I said c me tonight or I’m never f$$$ing you again. He went all needy on me, begging me, texting nonstop. I finally went over and once he had me, he resented me. I learned to play from him.