Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He takes so long to reply?!!!
- This topic has 13 replies and was last updated 5 years, 4 months ago by
Mary.
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Livvy
I met this guy 2 weeks ago. He’s been texting but in the last week, his replies have slowed down. He hasn’t asked me on a date. I assume he’s texting other people.
ANYWAY, MY QUESTION IS – He takes like 6 hours to reply to me. What is the appropriate amount of time to respond when this happens?!
Raven
You don’t, you move on…
Livvy
Hi raven!
Really??! Doesn’t that just makes us as bad as men?! There’s such an epidemic of ghosting? Why is this the best move?
I was hoping for some guidance on how long I should take to reply
Sarah
You can mirror him and take just as long. But realistically this means he has low interest in you. He hasn’t asked you on a date and now he isn’t even showing high interest by texting back. Tell him you prefer to meet in person and talk. If he is really interested he will plan a date. If he ignores the question or doesn’t respond then you know for sure he is just wasting your time.
Raven
You’re not being ghosted…
You’re not in a relationship…
Have you even met in person?
Why do you give a rude stranger so much of you air space?Sensy
If he hasn’t asked you out, please move on. He is wasting your time.
Livvy
Yes I met him on a night out!
So given it’s been almost two weeks of chatting and no mention of a date should I say that to him?
How should I say it?!
Raven
What do you hope to accomplish?
Sarah
Next time you text, just tell him you prefer to not be texting all the time and rather meet in person to get to know each other.
If he already met you in person, but hasn’t asked you out in two weeks, he sounds like a time waster. This is the behavior of a guy who probably just texts when he is bored. Is texting multiple women at the same time. Likes the attention but isn’t looking to take this to the dating level.
When you tell him you prefer to meet and he doesn’t set something up quickly, he is totally wasting your time.
Asayi
If he doesn’t have any reason to postpone a potential second date, then you have your answer on his level of interest (or lack of should I say).
He might be putting the slow fade on you right now and just completely vanish soon. From experience, I advise you to just let this one go and move forward. You just met him once. You have no attachment to him and you SHOULD be talking to other men too.
It sucks when the level of interest isn’t reciprocal, but hey it happens. It’s nothing you have to take personal. Keep on going on dates with others and when you meet the right one, you’ll know. No need to play silly games and ‘how much time should I wait to text him back’ because none of this matters and nothing would be different if he isn’t the one for you.
Liz Lemon
If a guy is interested in you he’ll make it clear from the beginning. Especially in the first weeks/months of dating (that’s why it’s called the honeymoon period). Guys are extra attentive when they’re trying to win you over. If he is not responding to your texts in a timely manner, and more importantly than anything, if he is not asking you out, he isn’t that interested in you. I agree with the other posters that he’s probably texting multiple women & just likes the attention. I personally would let this one go.
Tallspicy
You are an ego stroke. Either stop responding, which in this case is the better option or slow your responses, or tell him you have enough friends
Honeypie
It doesn’t sound like this guy is going to pick up the pace. What sort of things are you texting about even? How’s your day stuff? It all gets tired very quickly texting these days- how is your day going? What you got for dinner tonight? Etc. Very boring.
If you want to maybe try and attract a bit of interest, I’d text something different out of the blue, like send him a funny joke or meme with a laughing emoji saying this made me laugh today. Then leave it totally. When he texts back, leave that too. If it’s on WhatsApp leave it on unread, whatever he messages back, set the Scene of his contact not being important. Then around 12 hours show it as read, but again don’t text back. The idea is to get him to double text. Then if he doesn’t, leave it- it’s no big deal. If he does contact then you’ve taken the first step to him stepping towards you. You build on that by remaining middle the road – tanking time to respond or even read his messages, encouraging him again. To double text. If you get no hotting up from him though, leave it and move on.
Mary
I don’t see this going anywhere. Agree with the others.
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