Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He tells me I'm this world, but then updated his tinder pics..
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 6 years, 10 months ago by
DEEMA.
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Megs25
So I met a guy on tinder who I instantly clicked with, we messaged none stop and even before we met he said he thinks I’m lovely. It was over a month before we actually met (Christmas he lost his phone for 5 days and later didn’t get my message) anyway we finally met and have now been on 4 dates, but by the 3rd I noticed he changed his tinder pics after telling me on the first date he got rid of tinder because it annoys him. I don’t have a problem with him being on it as we’re not exclusive but he’s given me a false sense of security because of how he’s been acting. He’s put so much effort on the dates, lasting day – night, he tells me constantly that he likes me, thinks I’m stunning, how I make him laugh, how he can’t find a single fault with me, how he feels so comfortable around me so soon, after our last date he messaged to say he didn’t want to let me go, and now says that he misses me. We haven’t slept together because we’re both back at our parents (he’s buying a house, I’ve come back from travelling) and just now he asked if I want to come to a over night work event with him in 6 weeks time.
I can’t understand why he would reinstall tinder (or maybe he didn’t delete it in the first place) and changing his pictures makes me think he’s determined to find someone else, and not just just having a cheeky swipe.
I’m worried I’m being paranoid, and if I ask him I’m going to come across crazy. I just think he shouldn’t be feeding me false hope when he’s looking else where.
Should I mention something? Or stay strong and act like I don’t care.
Thank you! Would appreciate any advice :)
Georgia
Woah, this all feels like a whirlwind. I know you asked about whether to confront him, but first I want to just point out that men who tend to react like this burn out fast. My bf was like this; however, his words and actions lined up, so I moved ahead cautiously. It turns out that my bf wasn’t expecting to meet someone so quickly and had just become excited when he had.
Your guy’s words and actions do not seem to be lining up. You never asked him to get off Tinder, he chose to and now he’s back? It’s reasonable that he’s back, but him telling you that he’s done with it and backpedaling is the problem here. I like having the upper hand, so I would not mention it unless he brings it up again or you do become exclusive. Otherwise, if he’s been fine in every other way, I’d keep a close eye on this one.
Lia
sounds like he’s gaming you. I’d not go on the trip if you’re avoiding sex too soon.
Anastasia
Do not sleep with him until he’s f*cking around tinder. It will go to nowhere..
If you tell him that you noticed him changing pics there, he will reply that you are on this app, too.Raven
Ask him… in person… or visit his Tinder page…
Raven
& how do You know he’s back on Tinder …?
Newbie
You should stay on tinder too. He says all those things to get you to like him, but just take it with a big grain of salt in the first few months
Hannah
He’s playing you.
No one thinks someone is their world and keeps looking for other options. Plus you caught him im a massive lie.
Get passive agressive on him. Find him on Tinder. Tell him “oh I’m surprised to see you here considering everything you said to me”. Then forget him.
If you don’t, you’re heading for heartache.
Cecilie
I think you’re overanalyzing too much. It has only been 4 dates, which is absolutely nothing. I think you should just relax and “go with the flow”. You shouldn’t be “checking up on him” on Tinder. Let him be on Tinder if he wants to, that is his own business. He still sees himself as single and free to do what he wants – and he is. He might just be looking for attention or entertainment on Tinder for now, or maybe even seeing others. I repeat: he is free to do that. The only thing YOU should think about is being as free as him and NOT check up on him. Live your life and don’t stop yourself for this guy.
That he tells you that you are lovely means that he thinks you’re lovely. Nothing more than that. Just appreciate that he puts effort into your dates. Don’t take someone’s words in the beginning too seriously, as everything is very fragile and things can change very quickly. Remember that you are still not deeply connected.
Guys usually just take day by day – you should do that too. Don’t expect anything from him. Just let it flow and accept if it doesn’t work out or if he leaves, or if he still uses Tinder. If you somehow can’t accept it then you should decide what is best for you in that case.
I won’t say he is playing you nor anything like that because I have NO WAY to know that. Take care of yourself, take step by step and enjoy the time you get to spend with him.
Lili
he just want sex be careful
DEEMA
I went through this – whirlwind romance just 3 weeks in. I went onto his profile under a diff name and found he had updated his profile and restricted who can contact him.
I confronted him and walked away. This was after 3 months of him sayin i was the only one.
you have to respect yourself enough to know he’s not the only fish in the sea!!He is definitely talking to others…
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