Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He thinks my friend is hot?
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 7 years, 7 months ago by
Nat.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Sarah
So I’ve been dating someone for about a year now and he’s met my good friend a few times. She is beautiful – tall, blonde. Even I have a girl crush on her!
Anyway, my guy has made a few comments alluding that he think she’s attractive, but mostly in a joking manner. For example, she and I went on a yoga retreat and there was a class where it’s a “partner play” and you learn massage techniques. One of them was a hand massage. So I was giving my guy a hand massage one day and I was like oh, my friend and I were doing these on our retreat. And he goes “Oh I’d let her massage my hand”. In a sarcastic tone but still!
I know she is attractive and it’s not like he would ever go after her but I feel so insecure and jealous right now, even though I know he finds me attractive.
I’ve approached him about it and he has apologized but it’s just sitting at the back of my head.
Am I overreacting?
Shannon
Yes.
Even you find this woman attractive.
I actually think it’s a good sign that he feels open and comfortable talking about this. Because do you really honestly think he wouldn’t have noticed how attractive she is?
To me, the fact that you can talk openly about crushes and attractions to others means you have attained a deeper level of connection and commitment. The simple fact of the matter is there is always going to be someone out there who is more physically attractive than you, and looks fade fast. What keeps a partner is more than physical.
L
Sarah if you approached him about it and he stopped then don’t think about it anymore. If he continues knowing that it makes you feel uncomfortable then say it one last time and tell him firmly that it makes you feel very uncomfortable and how would he like it if you were constantly commenting on one of his good looking friends?
My guy would never comment on how pretty or attractive another woman is….its not about jealousy but about respect. We all know we all look and if a beautiful woman came in front of you and him you know he would look but for him to say “damn she is beautiful” is totally rude and disrespectful in my eyes. That is just me… its not about insecurity I know the man will look and I would never judge or say anything its the behavior towards it and comments. It seems immature for someone to comment about someone else’s beauty to your spouse.
I dated someone who every woman he talked about (mostly actresses) it was yeah she is pretty, she’s OK, she is pretty hot…and it was annoying. Its like all that matters is the outside like Shannon said beauty fades so for me he was all about the looks.
Nat
No woman would like that and most would be very annoyed, to say the least. We all know when a woman is more beautiful than we are, but he did not need to seed this thought in your mind that he is secretly fantasizing about her. It is very damaging to the relationship. Our imagination is our worst enemy and feeding it is plain stupid. Comments like that can stay in a woman’s “active” memory for years and do a lot of harm. Your guy is quite thick not to know that. Has he been in a relationship before? Does he not know the basics of a female psychology?
I’d confront him on that and tell him straight up, what do you think you are going to accomplish by letting me see that you are lusting after my friend? How do you think it makes me feel? Would you like to know that I can’t forget my ex…penis? Some men (and women) only understand things when they get to experience them, so punch him back.
-
AuthorPosts
