He thinks my friend is hot

F×ck that guy.

Honestly, he doesn’t sound like relationship material and I’d move on. Every guy knows better than to mention the looks of a gf’s friend. And since he knows your past experience he was way out of line and doesn’t come off as protective and loving.

Additionally, if he gave you the silent treatment in lieu of talking it out and trying to assure you, every argument you have will be like this. Hiding behind silence and then a text is not attractive to me. He is a low-value male with weak communication and conflict resolution skills.

Personally, I’d move on.

Yeah this is what I was thinking. He’s clearly not mature enough to withhold a relationship given his poor communication style.

Yeah I still dislike he even said it in the first place, doesn’t feel like he respects me or my feelings.

I ended it anyways.
I’d rather feel someone respects me, and if he doesn’t, in any situation they will make attempts to reassure or communicate effectively with me.

I guess my first question is were you just in bed talking or had you been intimate before this conversation? Reason I am asking is if I thought a guy was thinking about my “hot friend” while we were intimate then yes it would bother me and make me uncomfortable. But if you were just in bed talking at the end of the day and she came up because he just met her then it’s possible you are overly sensitive to this subject due to your ex. NO guy likes to keep getting compared to your ex. Would you rather he lied and said he didn’t find her attractive due to your insecurity?

Your ex was a jerk. Doesn’t mean this guy is too. It’s hard to tell if you’re being overly insecure and jealous in this situation or he’s being insensitive. But the 3 month mark is definitely when a guy decides if he sees a future with you and wants to continue dating you. If you feel he’s crossed a boundary then break up with him, because if you keep up this insecurity and jealousy over your friend and comparing him to your ex he’s not going to stick around long anyway!!

Honestly, the above comments that actually give these generalizations about “how men think and talk to women, and how women talk to men” as a way to validate his bad behavior is awful. Some men and women are shallow and visual, i.e. age, height, car, job, status, etc instead of character and that special connection called love. I have said a lot of things I should not have said to someone I loved a lot because I mention other guys I had dated or my male friends being very good looking, successful, and we are close friends, even exes who want to still be with me. It was a mistake, however I told him this as a non chalant factor because despite all that he is the person who owns my heart. The guy I love is not the best as society would say good looking comparatively other men who are interested in me but I love him so much that he is the best looking to me. If I were single without ever knowing him, my male and female friends said I am very visual. I get very attractive and very successful men, I get jealous when he looks at other girls because the way other men look and treat me and also that I never had a guy do that but then I realize that sometimes very insecure people tend to notice things about other people because they are not used to it.

You can do better than this guy. And good for you for not getting mad at the girl. You are a wonderful and strong woman and you do not need a male chauvinist who 1) generalizes character traits of people who are deemed societally attractive. 2) makes you feel that your feelings and sensitivities based on your past. If anything he would be more careful to reassure you and also not make such comments. There are better quality guys out there, and although people say “men are visual” let’s be honest, everyone is visual for their own idea of what’s beautiful and the heart changes what the eyes see. I love this man so much that his happiness means everything to me and I have learned that I would never say or do anything to hurt him.

@Lola

“I ended it anyways.
I’d rather feel someone respects me, and if he doesn’t, in any situation they will make attempts to reassure or communicate effectively with me.”

Sorry, I didn’t see this.

Well that takes care of that!