he wants a break

It sounds to me like he checked out of this relationship two months ago. You kept asking what was wrong, he wouldn’t answer but was angry and nervous and fought with you all the time.  This man won’t communicate with you and all he can come up with is you don’t wear heels. I guarantee you this is about more than you not wearing heels. There are many problems since you refer to them as “those problems” which aren’t resolved and he apparently doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with it right now. 
I would guess it’s about you not respecting him or listening to him. Seriously texting him for 8 days to try to solve a problem when he’s asked for a break is crazy! That showed him you were not respecting or listening to a single thing he said.

What if you told him you wanted a break because you were tired and busy and he totally ignored you, wanted to talk about the relationship and wouldn’t leave you alone? Wouldn’t that make you more angry? Wouldn’t that make you think he didn’t care about you or how you were feeling? This feeling you have of being emotionally drained is exactly how he feels. Give him some space to just breathe. Maybe if you actually let him miss you he would remember the girl he fell in love with and wanted to marry in January. Or maybe he checked out months ago because he’s met someone else and that’s why everything you did was wrong for months. I don’t know but I know badgering him, messaging him and wanting to talk is not giving him the break he asked for. 

I know your hurt, and confused but the one thing I’ve learned in life is that you cannot control how other people feel, think or react but you can control how you feel, think or react to it.

I agree in that badgering him over and over was the WORST thing you could do when he asked for ‘a break.’ Giving him the GIFT of SPACE may have given him the room to ‘miss you’ and start remembering the good parts if you had left him alone. Not saying it would have happened or worked but the way you went about it definitely won’t work, as you’ve just learned.

Men deal with problems differently. They don’t want to talk, and talk, and talk, about them—its wears them down! Women can do that but men are action orientated so if you can’t learn how to incorporate some actions, such as giving him space when he asks, or when you are feeling drained, then you are only creating bigger problems v. handling them.

I don’t know what’s going on his mind but one thing I do know is that if the man isn’t willing to do the hard work to fight for a relationship, its a lost cause. You have to have two parties willing and wanting to work on it, not just one, or your just slamming your head against brick wall. The best thing you can do, at this point, is accept its a “breakup.”

You really need to think hard about why you want to stay with a man who belittles, controls, and wants to change you? That’s not love, nor the pathway to a happy and loving relationship but a miserable one. I know you can’t see it now because your emotions are all over the place but its a good thing his dark side came out before you made the mistake of marrying this one, as divorces are very costly, messy, and much much harder to get out of and over than a breakup. You need to really take some time to reflect as to why you want to be with a man who doesn’t respect, accept and demeans you?