Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › He wants a break for a few weeks
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 3 years, 11 months ago by
ANM Staff.
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Kirsty
So – were still in lockdown in the Uk and so I haven’t been able to see my boyfriend of a year other than for a socially distanced walk for the last four months. Outside of that I know it’s taking it’s toll on him, everyone I guess. The mondane daily work home repeat current lifestyle. Unfortunately the pandemic hit before we got to do lots of first time things in a relationship. We didn’t get to holiday together or do spontaneous things because most of the year has been in a lockdown situation. We had an arguement the other week and initially he said he wanted to break up. We spoke the next day and we both apologised as the arguement just took off a bit but he said he just needs some space . I guess I kind of agree in some way that because we are so restricted right now it’s almost dimming our spark, and I can tell he has days he is really struggling with the pandemic toll. As much as I want to be here for him, I almost agree a break could do us some good. Currently we speak on the phone daily, discuss our non eventful days and go for a walk a few times a week when we can. At first when he said he wanted a break I was so upset but it makes some sense. Things are pretty stagnent and I don’t want the current tsituation to ruin our chance of a relationship that never really has had the chance to flourish. The country may start to open up in a month or so…Does this break sound like a good idea or could it just push us further apart…? It would be different if we lived together but at the moment we are so limited in what we can do, and I know many have said to bend the rules a little but as we work/live with vulnerable people that just wouldn’t be appropriate …. guess my question is… can breaks work and bring us closer together again
Tallspicy
You already posted this. You won’t get different feedback.
Liz Lemon
There’s a difference between wanting space and wanting a break, to me anyway. To me, a break can be a precursor to a break-up. Space is just backing off & giving the guy some space, without a break-up being a possibility. That’s my mindset, for what it’s worth.
If he asked for space, give it to him. You don’t need to speak on the phone every day for example. Skip taking walks for a few weeks. If things will open up in a month like you say they will, I don’t think it will be difficult to just cut back on the communication until then.
I wouldn’t make a big deal about it or have any dramatic talk about “taking a break”. That will just add pressure to an already stressful situation (the lockdown in general). Just back off a bit, don’t contact him so much, and do your own thing for awhile. Let him miss you a bit & reach out to you. There are good articles on this site about how to give a guy space, I suggest you check them out.
Newbie
Youre Laura i guess. If you would have responded to your older post you would have maybe gotten more feedback. To gain more clarity. Just reposting the same is kind of useless on both ends
Raven
I’m not a believer in breaks…
You either work through things together or break up.How would taking a break from someone you can’t/don’t see help your situation?
Persephone
My teenage son had found that his relationship with his gf was getting stale. She was struggling with pretty much everything and was pretty absent (likely depression from the pandemic because she’s an only child and both parents are first responders and were not home during the day). He didn’t want to make a decision he’d regret because the pandemic changed their relationship. When it got to the point that they were just retelling their days and not making time to do things together like play online games or watch movies, he felt like he wanted some space. He told her he needed a week or so, but that he wasn’t breaking up with her. He was just encouraging her to do some soul searching while he did the same. For them, it worked. But they had a really great foundation from the start. Now they talk every night and breathed a little life back into their relationship.
Emily
This sounds nearly identical to something that was recently posted. If it is the same person, you’re wasting everyone’s time posting again. You’re not going to get different advice.
If I’m wrong, then my apologies. Hope the forum moderator can sort out if this post is genuine or not.
ANM StaffKeymasterMod update: Hi Kirsty – Yes indeed, as some of our community members have noticed, you had posted here previously. I know some folks post in many different forums and then end up losing track of everywhere they posted. It happens! Also, I think some people don’t realize that topics stick around even if they don’t show up in the “recent forum topics list” – it’s still there even if it falls off the list. :) Just bookmark your topic so you can come back to it later!
Some of us bristle when we see a repeat or rehash topic, because we get the feeling that the Original Poster isn’t respecting the time people put into their replies. That’s why more than a few people mentioned the fact that it’s a repeat topic. We all hope that the replies are giving you some helpful things to think about and aren’t being ignored.
Anyway! That said, you can find your other thread over here. You’re welcome to respond and ask more questions, and hopefully the replies will help you out.
One more thing though – when you’re posting in these forums, please choose a consistent name. It can be “Laura” or “Kristy” or even something different that that, but stick with it moving forward so our community can recognize you and help give you insightful answers.
Best wishes!
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