Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He wants a key to my apartment
- This topic has 22 replies and was last updated 1 year, 7 months ago by
Mel.
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Em
So I really don’t know what to do. Recently I moved out on my own as an independent woman. I take care of myself and have a full time job with benefits so I was fully capable of living on my own. However, my pretty much boyfriend has been asking for a key to the apartment. A lot of ways he is just joking about it because he has his own place too but at the same time since he keeps bringing it up I feel like he really wants a key. It’s not that I don’t trust him but since we aren’t labeled as boyfriend and girlfriend I don’t want to give just anyone a key. He is the person over the most and said he would surprise me with food and things like that if he did have a key bit at the same time I almost feel like we should be officially together in order for him to have a key. Is that wrong?
vanessa
Of course that’s not wrong. Tell him, “I’m not giving you a key to my apartment.” If he keeps bringing it up, just ignore.
Hannah
I’d say “you are joking, you’re not even my boyfriend, I’m not giving you a key to my home”. But that’s me!
Definitely say no in whatever way you want.
How long have you known him? Do you want him to be your boyfriend?
Raven
The only way you’re going to settle this is …
Talk to him… Tell him how you’re feeling.
Do you want him as your official boyfriend?
Will you get a key to his?Khadja
I agree with Raven.
Em
I’ve known him for almost a year and a half so it’s not like I just met him. I want to give him a key and yet I don’t because again we aren’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend so idk because I do trust him I just know he probably wouldn’t give me a key to his apartment.
vanessa
You didn’t answer whether you want him as your boyfriend. I’m assuming yes since you keep saying you’re not official. If so, why are you continuing to see a guy that won’t make it official after over a year?
Raven
& why wouldn’t he give you a key to his?
Carol
What is your question?
He isn’t a BF.. You want to give friend your key? That’s up to you. Why is this an issue?
Is he giving you a key to his?
Amy
What do you think making it quote “official” will accomplish? It’s a title that’s a word only and doesn’t mean anything. Even if he’s your boyfriend “officially”, he can still break up with you, cheat on you, break your heart, whatever. I’m not saying he would do these things, I’m just pointing out that women think labels are some kind of insurance the relationship is going to thrive and turn into marriage. There aren’t guarantees in life.
We can’t tell you what to do about the key; I would spend time thinking about the things I stated above.
Ollie
I would never give a key to someone I was unofficially dating when he wasn’t offering a key to his place. Milk….cow….free….no thanks.
caetru
You don’t need to be official boyfriend/girlfriend to give someone a key to your place. My neighbor has a key to my place in case me or one of my kids is accidentally locked out. Make sure that you are not using this to force him to put a label on your relationship. However it’s up to you who you give a key to and when. I wouldn’t give someone a key to my place you didn’t trust me enough to have a key to their place. Why does he need one anyway?
Miss Missy
No I wouldn’t. I don’t see why it would be necessary. You seem to value your independence- keep it. It would make me uneasy someone had access to my apartment. If he wants to come over, you are the gatekeeper, you say when. It’s not up to him to decide he can come and go as he pleases in your home! No way! And it takes a lot longer than a year to really know someone. Keep your independence.
Carl
Sounds like he wants his privacy, and doesn’t mind taking away yours.
Sounds like you clearly want an official relationship. So don’t settle either with yourself or with your keys.
Carly
I gave the guy I’ve been seeing for only a short time a key to my place I think I must be mad I haven’t even been to his house yet? Plus I have a daughter what kind of mother am I?!!
Mariah
No way you are considering this..wth – you are classier than that sista
Raven
Carly, get your key back!
Jan
Just change the lock on your door and start acting responsible.
Tye
There’s nothing wrong with giving him a key to your apartment. I gave a key of my apartment to a man that I’ve been seeing these last few months and that’s because I trust him, I have nothing to hide from him, I’m committed to him and because I’m LOYAL to him and what we have going on. He is VERY loyal to me. I don’t have to worry about him about him cheating or anything on me. I have my 4 youngest kids living in my house.
Tye
There’s nothing wrong with giving him a key to your apartment. I gave a key to my apartment to a man that I’ve been seeing these last few months and that’s because I trust him, I have nothing to hide from him, I’m committed to him and because I’m LOYAL to him and what we have going on. He is VERY loyal to me. I don’t have to worry about him about him cheating or anything on me. I have my 4 youngest kids living in my house.
anon
So he wants to stop by and surprise you, even though you aren’t in a committed relationship?
He can grow up and commit to a relationship, then have a key. But as long as you are just dating only, nope. Don’t give that much access to a man who won’t commit.
Katie
My situationship asked for a key to my apartment. I finally gave him one then the next I found the key inside my pillow case! Why did he ask for it if he really didn’t want it
Mel
Katie, perhaps he made a copy of your key.. I would change the locks ….
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