He wants me to SERVE him his food

Want to get over your “hatred” of going to the grocery store? Think about the fact that you are within the privileged 10% of the world that can go to a store anytime and buy anything you want. Spend a little time in a third world country and you may find all of the things that you find so objectionable become pretty trivial.

Stephanie you are sooooo right. I should get over myself about going to the store and being lucky that there is a store to go to….thanks for giving perspective….every time I go in the future I will be grateful I have a car and there is a store to go to.

Great advice!!!!

Why, why, why?!

Going back years & months to comment on OLD threads?
That’s some hella digging …

This is an old post post but will comment an update:

Alma Sullo and E. Thank you both for your replies. My issue had many parts and one was growing up with a mom that hated and made comments about this ALL the time in a negative way.

I always serve food to my kids and to I also did that for my ex husband when he was busy.

Another issue was serving someone who is not busy, just seating waiting for me to serve him…..another issue with my boyfriend was him not doing much for me due his work hrs so I felt overwhelmed doing DOING and DOINg, giving GIVING giving and giving and not much reciprocated…that was and is still making me feel burned out.

There is always a lot more and deep down when we come here and share things that bother, confuse, or hurt us. I have solved the issue and I am happy to report that I since this post DO serve him his food.

to show support for someone; that’s why…..you might try it some time.

and has he improved on how much he does for you? If he is very busy working, that’s understandable if he is providing for you. But if you are pretty much equal partners in finances, then you should also be equal partners in helping each other out around the house. your concern about doing, doing, doing for him while he just laps it all up and barely does anything for you in return is extremely valid.

Has that improved at all?

@Alma Sullo, yes I do put probably way too much work into this relationship and I am working on that with professional help. It has become very unbalanced and making me more sad than happy. I am trying real hard to NOT become my mother! LOL!!! Only copying her good traits.

@m……he has improved somethings but poor conflict communication and more communication during the day is terrible. He is passive aggressive and avoids conflict in a negative way. I am planning to take a break and he does not want that…but I do. I find myself more sad than happy now. I cannot longer picture him in my life with kids. We both have issues to work on. If this is mean to be, we will find a way but I am tired of being the one working on the relationship alone. He is also grieving and will be for a very long time and I support him and respect him.

I just came across this forum and I love it.
I too have what I would consider an alpha male husband of 7 years. I am more than happy to bring him his food and drinks snacks etc. it makes him feel loved and he is always always grateful and thanks me when ever I bring him anything. We both work hard (tho admitably he does work harder) but I don’t mind one bit making sure his needs are met at home! He has never demanded nor expected it of me and if I’m overwhelmed with something else he gets what he needs all on his own! I love him more than I’ve ever loved another soul on this planet!

Additionally it is a fairly equal exchange of energies! He does plenty of things to maintain my happiness (not referring to the bed room but yeah he’s no slouch in that area either) at the end of the day we do what we can to make each other happy! And if I have to take an extra couple min to plate his food in a presentable manner and bring it to him then I’m going to do it! Now, if he were a jerk that would be a different story! Ha!!! But in our case, initially he was a bit resistant to allowing me to do it for him. But quickly adopted it! When he gets home from work I want him to relax and recoup! I love him and want him happy and these little things show our men that we love and honor them! I know I can trust that when he is out with friends etc that he’s not out lookin for strange tail or anything! He’s secure and loved at home!

I do understand the other side where it can be irksome especially if he’s an ass!! Or some how entitled to it!! Or the woman just wasn’t raised that way. That’s entirely different!! When I wait on my man he’s always thankful and asks me nicely! As for being raised differently…. Give it a try! Nothing makes me happier than when my man is happy! If a silly plate of food or clean laundry does that for him then guess what I’ll be doing?!

He’s my priority and in return I am his!