He went back to his ex and I am devastated

Jen
Imagine how your husband and his girlfriend felt when you two decided to just dump them. This reeks of karma. Unfortunately you missed the part about them being on and off. This is his pattern. They constantly break up and make up. He wasn’t going to leave her for you because he hasn’t left her for anyone in 7 years.

The good news is that you now have what you wanted. A divorce. And if you wanted a divorce anyway, no reason to be devastated about this man. He may not be the man for you but now you are going to be single and free to meet another man you really want to be with.

And if this doesn’t make you happy then You aren’t being honest with yourself or us. You would have stayed married except you thought you had a future with this other man. Please have some pride and leave him alone.

You call her toxic, manipulative and not very nice. That could also describe you. After all you got together and complained about them behind their backs. Then you held hands while on a double date. Then you manipulated each other to leave your partners so you could have a short term fling. I would say you aren’t a very nice person either. It’s not fair to blame her for what happened. They have a long history together and I’m sure she didn’t put a gun to his head to make him come back to her.

Honey he’d be back to you in a few weeks. And then back to her again.

Stop being a sissy girlfriend, you let yourself get fooled, now endure the consequences.

If you wanted a divorce anyway, then use this as a rebound, as a lesson. It is very tough out there. Very tough to find a decent honest man. Your guy was unavailable, but even available men go from a woman to a woman evert 3-6 months. So put on your big girl’s panties, read up on the modern dating scene (not fun at all!) and get ready for some rough rides, as you are guaranteed to have them.

Hi, guys my ex husband of 6 years whom in total i was with him for 11 years and share a son together left me so quickly and found out that he was communicating with his ex girlfriend. then while we were married he left me and whilst we were still married moved in with her and her son. Within a year they travelled together, moved into a house together and now engaged. its very hard to say the least. i know i deserve better and i know i did nothing wrong, but he wasn’t honest with me, he lied from day one. He hid her from me from day one and i never saw the red flags. Now looking back i should have seen the signs as they are all coming back. The worst part is that he’s accused me that i was the most shocking wife, treated him so badly and it was always her that he loved. Why marry me and have my son then? if he wants to marry her that’s fine, i had my fair share of pain and sorrow. i mourned a death of a marriage that was based on a lie. Hopefully i will meet someone who truly deserves my love.

@Me, I am so sorry, I can’t imagine how painful it must be to you. You were so happy about the start of your future family and all. What an awful heartbreak.

It is hard to pick up from things like that. But if you look at it from “their” perspective, perhaps, it would help you. They still love each other. being apart, with other partners did not change that.

he should not have blamed you, this was lame on his part, but not everyone is in control of their feelings, he was frustrated and like most people, he looked for someone to blame. You. To help him get rid of the guilt. He understands he broke your heart, it is easier for him to blame you for that. A cowardly move on his part, you have something to disrespect him for and this would eventually cause you to stop feelings love for him.

It is easier said of course, but truly it is not about YOU. It is about them. The both felt it for each other. It happens. To protect yourself, you need to pay attention to red flags. And not overlook them, but act upon them. You said yourself that you overlooked them. Most women do that, and then get hurt.

How do you teach someone not to overlook red flags and actually take action when they see them? Women would not listen, they never do listen.

There was another story here today where a guy told the OPP he is “not very good at being faithful”. She still wants to try. Instead of thinking what exactly does it mean. Not very good at being faithful. In practical terms. He would try to be faithful 364 days but one day he’d go and cheat? If a man in his 30s says such things just how desperate you need to be to continue with him? Not wanting to be alone is understandable, but in a few months, you’d still be alone AND heartbroken from being cheated on. I really wish that woman comes back abnd updates us in a few months. I can bet all my money on her heart being badly broken and her ending up MUCH older and alone. Taking years of therapy, trying to get over and recover.

It is easier to prevent illness than to deal with it. Ladies pay attention to red flags, do not ignore them and dive in denial. because you are desperate or alone. You will end up with MORE trouble and in worse situation than you are now if you don’t learn to walk away from “clear and present” danger.

Learn to say “no”, I’ll pass, I’ll try with someone else. Sure he’d ask and ask again, when you say NO, this is when they ask and ask. But you still need to stand your ground.

@emma @mattie thank you ladies…

When we started dating he said that his last relationship was full of drama and he doesn’t want that anymore… she was manipulating him and she did it again (later as mentioned before)
Now I know that I should have run away ASAP as it looked like on an off relationship.
Btw he was 10 years older than me.

It all happened before Christmas I bet they had a great time.

I am so heartbroken… I was in the loop for months believing that I broke this relationship, I cried so many night…for what I said and I apologise to him but it was like taking to the wall… at this point I knew there is a double button to that story…

He could just block her number or ignore her but he didn’t and I know that he is capable of doing that as he ignored me for weeks.

He wasn’t rushing to pick up his things as it wasn’t important so I knew it was a time to clean that mess.

Maybe if she never got in touch with him we would be happily married… who knows or it will look like a story from @nadia (I am so sorry to hear your story)

I understand your point @Emma and it is a very sweet thought showing how powerful love is but being someone on the other side of the coin is very hard to believe in love again. As you can see I saw some red flags. I also believe in love and that would make us go through this but it didn’t.

I don’t know where to start my healing… I don’t know what to do… I am very heartbroken… it is so unfair…

Hi I‘m 21 I dated a guy and in the beginning it was lovely and nice getting to know each other. He was little shy but in a good way I felt save and I just thought that will pass with time. He told me he had fallen for me but after 2 Month it started to feel off but still very nice and respectful and interested and I just started to find excuses for his actions and thought it will pass I didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want to be to much. We got intimed so I asked what we were and he said he wouldn’t want something seriously because he had a relationship and she had cheated on him so I said lets leave it as it is and take it slow and he agreed. But a week later he got extremely distant I then asked if he has lost interest and he answered he did all by phone he said i had scared him off.
2 werks later i asked if we could meet up but he didn’t want to but i could ask him via texts so I did and asked what he actually wanted and he wanted what he had with his girlfriend he compared the feeling he had for me and the one he had for her and lost interest as he noticed that it wasn’t the same.
Now as it seems he got back together with his ex.
And I‘m truly trying hard to let go I have been on dates I have been focusing on me and read and tried to find what I can learn of it
But at the end of the day he’s still first thing my mind turns to when I‘m not distracted or focused simple just resting and I don’t know how to make it stop and why it’s so persistent.

Well I don’t think so but either way hope you’re good and happy now and that love wont hurt you again so that you wont hurt some third none involved person to the confusing matters.

I am mostly seeking out support and advice on his to get out of this obsession and self inflicted pain and how to regain my confidence and enjoy myself and start to build a life that I can be proud of so no guy makes me feel this horrible ever again.

Kill the part of you that believes it won’t survive without someone else. Building a life you’re proud of doesn’t happen over night. It takes time to be a work in progress.

Hi i was dating a guy for 7 months. Really fell for him and thought he was too. He loved me so passionately, took me for his office party, would hold me everytime. 1 day out of the blue he stops contacting me. Would reply only if i texted. Then 1 day he blocked me. When i tried to contact him he said he is in a relation. At 1st i didnt believe him as i thought he would never be the guy who cheats. But later i came to know from his social media that he indeed was in a relation that too with his ex who i never knew about. Now he has blocked me completely just cz i insisted in staying friends. I was never bad with the guy. So why did he just dump me without even trying to end things and give me closure? Were all the 7 months spent with me fake cz i never felt so? Right now its been 4 months and he is enjoying his life with his ex. When i see their pics together it hurts me a lot and i feel i was just used as a rebound. I have not been able to sleep or eat for days.. i know i need to move on. But i dont know how? And how long will it take me to move on?

I recently found the man I’m dating posting a picture of him and his exgirlfriend on his other IG account. It was the same place that he and i went to a month ago. My heart sank! He deleted the photo a day after but the damage was already done.

Its sad
Im going through the same thing
My heart hurts every second… its been almost 2 weeks since he left me . I wish things could go back to before all this happened. I skipped exams because i was home just crying.
I feel like I’ve got no purpose in life anymore .
Its just so unfair

Literally exactly the same happened to me recently and I’m
So angry and upset