He went skinny dipping but no "touchy feely" involved

I wonder how he would feel if you went skinny dipping with a guy… drunk… Ask him that.

Ask yourself if this is a dealbreaker for you. It sounds like it is, so don’t pretend it’s okay.

I once had a nice guy who would always drive his coworker home because his she lived closeby and he wanted to help (he’s that kind of guy to everyone, not just her). She would commute by public transpo that would take her 2 hours, but by car, only 30mins. He said he felt bad if he wouldn’t help.

I understood for awhile because I thought it was a really lovely trait for a man, until it got a little bit uncomfortable for me. He thought I wasn’t trusting him, I said it’s not that, my only take was, if it happened to me, having a nice handsome coworker who is so lovely enough to drive me home every single day, how would he feel? He thought about it and realized where I was coming from. I didn’t ask him to change but he eventually limit his generosity from everyday to a couple of days a week. That made me feel a lot more comfortable, and we never talked about it since.

It’s a complete different story from yours but I suggest you take the same aprroach. Ask your bf the same, if you went skinny dipping with two drunken guy friends, how would he feel? The listen to what he says. If he doesn’t feel the same about it, then ask yourself if you still want to continue putting up with this behavior. Because he’s not going to change, and this will happen over and over again.

Mountain Molehill. There I sad it. They were not alone, there were other there. You will sound like a needy stick in the mud if you say anything else. Don’t have any fun while I am not there is what you are saying…

If they had been alone, it would be have been a tiny bit worse, and I would get it, but in a drunk group – be thankful he told you. Don’t make him regret it.

I would be fine with it assuming there were more than 2 people there….

You are entitled to your feelings, but if I ever explained a fun night I was having with multiple friends to my boyfriend and he got jealous like that, I would tell him it was his own issue and to deal with it. And I would not tell him about what I did with my friends for concern about judgement going forward.

Now, if I was just with one man and I did that and he was upset, I would totally understand. Two people + nudity, not really ok.

And if a friend told me he could not go skinny dipping in a group because his girlfriend did not like it, I would tell him to dump the stick in the mud.

what I am saying is that it was not intimate. Intimate is two people alone getting naked and doing anything….

Talllady I gotta disagree with you on this one. Who goes skinny dipping anymore? Who does it with a group of friends? Maybe I’m too conservative? I don’t know but I do see this as a dealbreaker.

Talllady is right though that if you continue to talk about it he may stop telling you stuff.

You need to decide if this is a dealbreaker for you. I would reapproach it somehow, I just don’t agree with this kind of behavior.

OMG – I am going to be very brusk here, but I really believe you are all giving her terrible advise. Advise that is saying this man is cheating and being intimate? NOT THE CASE. I know there are different opinions, but I really believe you are encouraging her in something she will not win and was not crossing any type of boundary. Sheesh.

This man was with a group of people, who decided to go swimming. Dare I say – It sounds like a ton of fun???? I wish I was there!

Who goes skinny dipping? People who live near water and have fun, that’s who.

If he drinks too much on a regular basis, that is one thing, but if this is a one off occurrence. And if he was alone with her, I totally am on board with being upset.

But there is no red flag here at all. There I said it.

Talllady, that’s your opinion and that’s alright. But different people have different boundaries. What seems okay for you may be totally unacceptable for someone else. You need to respect that.

If she feels that this crossed her personal boundaries, she has the right to broach the topic with him. If he feels as you do, they can work out their differences or they can break it off. But that is HER choice to make.

Another approach that you can use is simply state your boundaries in a relationship.

Just say, a relationship to me is one that does not include nudity in front of another girl other than myself. Swimming is acceptable, but swimming naked is not. Are we same on this? Should the situation be reversed, would you want me nude in front of another guys?

Then listen to what he says.

A committed relationship is where two parties discuss what is acceptable and what is not. So should this issue arise in the future and it bothers you simply because it violates what is acceptable to you, it is right to discuss it calmly with your partner.

I still want him to be comfortable around me, and I will still be that cool girlfriend that he likes. I was planning to approach the subject in a light-hearted but be honest, very similar to Talllady’s approach, as suggested by the ladies.

Two weeks ago, we planned on spending Valentine together, but he neither confirmed nor asked me out. Am really disappointed to be honest, but there are plenty of good stuff he has done before and I try to remind myself of that. I was going to talk about it face-to-face if we met today, but from the looks of it, I wouldnt be able to talk to him till next weekend. Its bugging me and it has certainly made me repel him more, although I try not to show it much in our texting.

I was nothing but warm and polite. Stated that I appreciate his honesty and respected it. Stated that I absolutely dont mind about being drunk and do crazy stuff, didnt mind him befriending women. Just pointed that getting drunk and naked with a woman, even if she is a friend, is still intimate for a casual friend. I mentioned that I do trust him and I dont suspect that he has cheated on me.

His reply was that alcohol makes people do crazy shit and that I know what kind of person he is and if I dont appreciate that, then I have the choice of breaking up with him. I told him that I dont want to make this a huge dispute, nor do I want it to be the reason we part ways and if I didnt like his character, we ouldnt be talking now.

Even if I didnt talk to him about it, it would have created tension from my side and eventually it would have ruined the relationship for sure. Atleast this way, even if we did part ways eventually, I tried talking with him.

You would know better, but his comment about you ‘knowing who he is’. Sounded to me as if he was saying, I’m a party guy, i do stupid stuff when I drink, so you either accept that or move on…