Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › He wished me a Merry Christmas after he disappeared.
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 4 years ago by
Raven.
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anastasia
Hi everybody. Earlier this year I was dating a guy, he lives 200 km away, so it was half in the distance, the thing is that with all the coronavirus thing going on he started to contact me less and less and of course we couldnt see each other.
It got to a point that he stopped contacting me and tbh I’ve been very hurt, because I really liked him.So now I just got a message of him wishing me a Merry Christmas and asking how i’ve been. I dont know if he is just trying to be polite, I want to answer and tell him that he hurt me but at the same time I want to keep it classy, what would you reply in my place? Im lost, thanks.
CrushingQueen
Did you contact him less and less, too? It sounds like you both kind of faded apart, and he was just thinking of you..
anastasia
I was the one initiating all our last conversation, that made me thing he wasnt into it. So I stopped to see what happened, I didnt know from him until today, since earlier this year he was a lot into it I wonder what happened, I’ve been pretty hurt, it was difficult not to contact him actually.
Now I dont know what to do. A part of me wants to reply and tell him he hurt me another part wants to ignore him.
anastasia
Excuse me for the typos, english is not my mother tongue.
I meant * that made me think he wasnt into it.Newbie
If there was casual dating and no progress in terms of becoming a couple then telling him you are hurt has zero purpose. You jumped the gun instead of watching his moves and then you took over initiating. I think you should just let this go. Delete his Number. He was flaky, didnt stay in contact so why start up talking again just because he send one Merry xmas text.
Elvira
I agree with Newbie depending on the relationship and how serious it was telling him how hurt you are may not get the response you are seeking. You say it was long distance and that in itself is a struggle. If you want to respond with no expectations you can say “Merry Xmas to you as well, I have been doing fine. I am confused to hear from you since we haven’t spoken in a while”.
Again, this is a shot in the dark because now it is the understanding that when a person ghosts it is a clear indication that 1. they lost interest. 2. they started seeing someone else. 3. had no intentions of a real relationship with you.
It is difficult to be left with unanswered questions but sometimes a persons actions is more clear than words.Lara
Given that this was a casual situation, I would not announce to him you were hurt at all. Frankly, he will likely not care and would not reply to you. You guys weren’t dating. The problem with online chatting is people sometimes think a real relationship is developing. It isn’t anything real.
I know we develop bonds with people we are talking to online, as you have. It can really hurt, I experienced it once too. I got quite attached to the guy. He suddenly dropped off the face of the earth, only to pop up again 3 mos later with a lame “hey” text. I never replied because I was hurt that he just tossed me aside after talking for 9 mos. I felt I wasted my time as I thought I had made a true friend. He obviously did not feel the same. Men take these online chat situations very, very casually, much more so than women.
You can reply with a merry Christmas text or not. My recommendation is – do not reply. He will possibly want to start up chatting again -only to do the slow fade on you all over again!
It’s tempting to get into these when we’re lonely but you were very, very hurt by this guy with absolutely no explanation from him. You have a right to your feelings -always!
Raven
If you tell him you were hurt, you’re creating unnecessary drama…
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