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- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 6 months, 1 week ago by
Mary.
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Stacey
Hi everyone,
My boyfriend broke up with me 8 weeks ago now. It was brutal and I am struggling to move forward. It stems from me asking for more of a commitment, I know I was right in asking as he told me he loved me, and wanted us to be together but wasn’t showing this through actions so i asked for more.
In turn, he broke up with me via text and then blocked me on everything.
I have done no contact but I am still struggling to pick myself back up and feel worthy again after so many false promises and hope.
I keep going back to the feeling of ‘I couldn’t have been enough, or worth it’ and i really need some help in dragging myself out of the constantly wondering and thinking about him.
Thank you for your help.Maddie
Oh no, I’m sorry. But you’re also looking at this backwards. You told someone who supposedly loves you what you want, and he bailed. That’s not someone who was ever truly looking to be serious, and that has NOTHING to do with you. It did not stem from you asking for more, it stemmed from him d*cking around. Not being on the same page about what you want is great to find out because then you don’t waste your own time. You’re exactly right to recognize that words are cheap if they’re inconsistent with actions. You’ve filtered him out for being incompatible, and now you’re free to heal and find someone who wants the same type of relationship you do. It hurts now, but you’re better off without the dead weight. You just need to focus on yourself and your own self-esteem so that you can rebuild and believe you deserve better. Give yourself some more time, do activities you enjoy and spend time with people you enjoy as well.
Stacey
Thank you Maddie, that is such a good way of looking at it.
I am trying to focus on that healing but it just feels very brutal and therefore I cant help but think he couldn’t have loved me at all.
I guess that will all come in time, I just have to get out of this broken hearted feeling and try to move on!
Peggy
Stacey, it is very likely that he did love you-in “his way”… which turned out not to be enough for you and that is good to learn now. He saw that he was not able to give you what you need and want/make you happy. So do not take it as though you are not loveable or enough…you and this guy just have different ideas of how to conduct a relationship.
Tammy
Agree with the above posters though both hv differnt views. Sometimes though the person may like you, but future goals about the relationship may not match. Or he may hv been around just for fun and not luking for anythng serious. The latter most likely. Its diff for you but nothing much you can do when the man bails on you. Try to keep yourslf occupied and as more days go by, it wont feel so bad.
Mary
You didn’t mention in your opening what he “was” showing you. This is; however, a Growth moment so you will one day be very grateful.
He was NOT the right guy for you. In your writing, it does reveal that you are not ready for the one because you validate yourself through him.
Keep working on this, becoming the beautiful creature God designed you to be.
Mary
(Beautiful by recognizing a guy does not validate you.)
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