He'll be gone for a month. When timing is off and no chance of build up.

I’d have phrased it differently but I posted right after the news. Btw, to be honest we met each other like 2 years ago, talked a little met, nothing came out of it and then came back as heavy flirtation etc. Well, my therapist is taking a day off and won’t reschedule so I can’t even make people I pay talk to me and help me :) Yes, it’s obsessive. Now I’m like “ok, it sucks, I stupidly believed at lust and emotional connection”.. Two proper very long dates and lots of talking, flirting and having our little “code” and pet names already. (unfortunately not just heavily making out too so I bonded. which I didn’t mention before..) I know I know it’s very little but some people just hit it off like my grandparents (so I’m now claiming he’s both a douche and well, I can’t make anyone care for me enough).
Is thinking “oh, well, it’s a bad timing because if he was around I’d see if he asked me on dates and progressed or not” so obsessive or bad? Like even my mum thought it was going well and we so quickly covid-like became homey. She gets him know too. And she hates me for wondering “what if” so you’d totally high-5 each other.
I simply miss him.

Oh my, it hit me. I’m glad I posted this because you basically did the homework for me and now I see this issue clearly. (Issue not being just obsession but the rest). You’re right. I’ll find my peace. On a lighter I’m laughing because karma came back, my family and I laughed at my annoying grandmother being told be a therapist to write a diary because (as we all assumed) he was so done with her self-pity and her martyrdom . I became her now. Oh well. Merry Christmas everyone!

@Ss, you’re certainly entitled to your opinion. But this isn’t about fairness. This is about learning to stand up on your your own two feet. The point of this forum is help women get healthy and learn how to have good relationships with men. Sylvia’s avoiding herself by posting here constantly. Personally I don’t believe encouraging someone to keep going around in circles and keep issues alive by constantly ruminating about them and being dependent on others to do their emotional work isn’t helpful. That’s why I suggested she start a journal. It doesn’t appear posting here helps her move forward, she just gets dependent upon people who give her well meaning advice.

@Sylvia, the only person who can do your homework, whatever that means, is you. I did nothing for you. Again, you’re not making sense and it’s concerning.

I’ve said my two cents and I won’t be commenting on Sylvia’s threads again.

You do the same thing every few months. You feel this is a hostile forum and ask for all your posts removed. No one banishes you, and the fact that someone cant recall why exactly you left the previous is quite natural. And its not your reputation that preceeds but your personality. And most of us see that personality as troubled. For whatever reason and you agree with that. So stop with the dramatic entrees and exits. Stop making everything about you. No one here has strong feelings for you except hope you will do well. In stead of your therapist who sounds whacky to me (not only because of the cold water exercise but also because of the weird dating advice) would go to a real brain expert to find out how you are wired. Knowledge is power and your brain is your most valuable asset. Im pretty sure what you have is in the distored views of reality and there are therapies outthere to help. And im not saying this because youre a basketcase but probably a nice young lady who has trouble finding love for herself and others.

Sylvia, I again urge you to start a daily personal journal on paper or on your computer. I’m telling you this not to chase you away but as a genuine suggestion to assist in solving your issues. From seeing your threads I honestly don’t believe posting here is helping you, it’s undermining your work with your therapist and robbing you of the chance to learn to feel and think for yourself, IMO.

I”m speaking from an experience. I watched my best friend go through anxiety and inability to stop obsessing and ruminating about things, especially men, and when she took her therapist’s suggestion to start a journal, I saw an remarkable shift and over time she made permanent changes that enabled her to handle life a lot better and be able to date without drama. (She stopped attracting unavailable men and men with a lot of problems and dated a string of good guys, and she’s now engaged!) She also has much healthier relationships with her family and friends now that she’s not constantly talking about negative things. For a while I wasn’t spending much time with her because it was too hard to listen and watch her stress over everything all the time.

FYI, what you post on the internet can last forever, so if you need to ask the sysadmin to take your posts down for privacy reasons, which it’s not likely they will, you really really would be better off keeping a private journal and not posting in public in the first place.

Good luck.

Angiebaby, I replied to Newbie not to you. I just saw your post. We’re both in agreement posting here doesn’t help. That’s why I said my goodbye in a friendly way. At least I tried. But Newbie called me a drama queen.
I truly believe reading about relationships, posting and obsessing here won’t get me anywhere. You do agree. I regret posting intimate stuff on the internet but I can’t undo it. However I can change what I do in the future. (Honestly now I feel at peace and don’t feel like writing a diary because I’d analyse my feelings and I came back from running and feel just happy. Obviously, I’d feel worse soon, that’s life and then I’ll write it down in a diary, it sounds like a good idea.) Thank you.