Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › HELP! Advice on canceling double date??
- This topic has 11 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
Anon.
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Divine feminine spirit
Background: I am a 24(25 on Saturday) year old woman who just recently started seeing a 46 year old guy. It all happened so randomly, I was leaving the dry cleaners as he was pulling in and Well, here we are two months later. I wouldn’t say we are “official” per se, but we express how much we like each other and see each other once a week if not more for dinner and drinks. He’s told me he’s ready to be exclusive when I am but I’m not quite ready to be that yet. He’s a busy CEO with an ex-wife and two teenage kids so for right now I’m just enjoying our time together.
OKAY DILEMMA: last Saturday he told me he had a colleague and long time friend coming to town and he wanted to double date and asked if I could find a friend for his friend. I really only have 2 close friends. So I said I’ll see. My two girlfriends wouldn’t be his friends type aesthetically I already know So I asked a friend I went to high school with that is always asking About him and praising about my photos and stories whenever I post our dates and his lifestyle and what not. She said she’d be down cause it seems fun, even though he’s older and so I sent her his pics and vice versa. He told me his friend was so in awe of her (she’s gorgeous) and really excited to meet her and so he was like “babe, she HAS to come. No turning back now” Well for the past three days, as I’ve been trying to finalize plans with her she’s been taking 8/12/24 hrs to reply almost as if she’s uninterested. The dinner is tomorrow evening and every time I try to make sure she says yea but by her behavior tonight (saying I have to work 1-8, when reservations are at 945) so I changed them to 1045 but she hasn’t responded back yet and I’m afraid she just isn’t going to come and I’ll let him down 🥺😕 whats an excuse I can use to cancel that’s believable? I don’t want to tell him she flaked. I need something else. Thinking I should do it tonight just to stay ahead in case she does and just to get it over with and not the day of? God this is causing me bad anxiety
Sleepless
I agree you should cancel. She does not sound reliable and better to cancel now than have her not turn up last minute. I wouldn’t say anything too elaborate. How about shes had an out of town relative come to stay short notice and she needs to show them around? If frustrating for you but ultimately its not your fault shes being flaky and your bf should understand this isn’t on you
Ss
I don’t see why you can’t just tell the truth- its not your fault that she has flaked on the date. If she isn’t interested thats her decision to make. If you give excuses you just open up to more lies. Its not a good idea to lie to your boyfriend and you’d have to keep lying because he might want to set up another date!
Liz Lemon
I agree with Ss. Don’t lie, it will just create more complications later. Be honest and tell your bf that your friend seems to be flaking. It’s not your fault, you have no control over her actions.
And in the future I’d avoid agreeing to set up your bf’s friends with your friends…it’s a bit icky for a man in his 40s to expect his girlfriend who’s in her 20s to find friends for his friends to date anyway. If you’ve been telling your friend that he’s really excited, his friend is “in awe of her”, and “there’s no turning back now” she might be getting freaked out. I would! It’s a dinner date with a stranger, what does this guy expect will happen? That attitude puts way too much pressure on her. So I don’t blame her for backing out. Again, it’s just icky.
Ellie
I agree with Liz….he’s coming off very “eager” and did she say anything about the guy’s picture. Seems like the guy likes her picture but how does she feel and knowing he is already eager to see her it does feel like a lot of pressure.
Addison
Total agree with you Liz lemon – you have great advice on this site
Addison
To OP – you have to keep in mind 40’s does not equal “mature” or “good” in any way. He could be as awful as a 20 something. (just like there are good 20 somethings out there too). I learned this the hard way. best of luck
Newbie
Isnt double dating something from the eighties? Oh he is from there. Man he is old. Its fine you are up for it, but you can tell him your friend wasnt into old. I also think its superweird you had to find him a date. Seriously
Vera
I’d just tell him the truth.
Yeah I’m getting weird vibes from the whole thing … I’m just picturing a thirsty older man lusting for a hot young thing … eeek . It’s one thing If they’d met organically like you met yours, but the fact that his friend is clearly wanting to date a young woman is gross.Newbie
I also find its strange a CEO has to do his laundry in a public dry laundry lol
Addison
Omg newbie…. how did we all miss that? Major flag- either he’s lied about his job or he goes there to pick up young women- just YUCK. You are so right.
Anon
Yes typically a CEO or well off business men do not actually take their own dry cleaning in nor do they pick it up. Unfortunately it doesn’t matter what you do Heather, I doubt this will honestly be a lasting relationship. His friend most likely is married too.
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