Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Help! Bf talking to his friend’s ex gf
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 2 years, 9 months ago by
Naomi.
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Naomi
Hi, looking for advice.
My bf cut ties with one of his good friends 2 months ago. This friend has/had a girlfriend and a kid. And my bf says hi to her when he’s over at his house to be polite. I’ve only met his friend twice in passing and a simply hello, never met the gf or kid. They’ve known each other for years before I even met my bf.
So something happened and my bf cut ties with this friend and that gf has been messaging my bf a few times for i don’t know some sort of advice and stuff about speaking to the friend he cut ties with. My bf mentioned this briefly but nothing further.
Then few weeks ago, my bf posted an ad to sell his playstation on Facebook and she messaged my bf saying she’s keen to get the PlayStation for her kid but doesn’t have the money yet, will msg him in a few weeks time to let him know once paid or something.
Then today, me and my bf were watching a movie and she called (via video chat function) my bf. I asked who and he said it’s her but didn’t answer.
I went through his phone but nothing much is on there. Seen a few msg that are polite and looked mundane. But honestly I don’t like this- I find it weird that she is contacting my bf. She tried to add me on Instagram but obvi I didn’t.
What’s everyone’s take on this? Am I just over reacting?
Raven
I think you’re overreacting, but keep an eye on her…
Your BF hasn’t done anything.
Maddie
It is on your boyfriend to keep up good boundaries that respect YOU. And it sounds like he has been doing just that, and is not engaging with her as anything other than a normal friend. If that changes, and she starts trying to rely on him or flirt with him, then you can tell him her behavior seems pushy and is making you uncomfortable. If he’s a good guy then he’ll take care of it (or it will never get to that point because he already shut anything questionable down to begin with). But right now it sounds like overreacting and neither of them are acting suspicious. You don’t need to want to be friends with her, but if she feels she’s been a long time friend with your boyfriend then she probably sent you a request to connect to be friendly.
Honestly, I’m a little concerned that you went through his phone instead of talking to him about it first. Do you have issues trusting him or other partners you’ve had in general?
Kamdy
Trust your gut! If you feel that something is wrong then there probably is. Like why did your bf not pick up when she called? If there is nothing going on it should not have been a big deal to talk to her in front of you.
Rox
Hi,
I think you are jumping to conclusions before you talk to him. If you were watching a movie together, it makes sense he didn’t pick up because he was hanging out with you. Right?Naomi
Hi everybody.
Thanks, will take everyone’s advice and not jump to any conclusions then.
What bothers me is that my bf is not friends with her, my bf was friends with the guy and know her from him. She also has mental and suicidal tendencies multiple times this year. I predict this can be a sticky/troublesome situation considering what happened with that friend and potentially relaying on my bf to speak to the friend…I don’t know. I can also tell this girl is an attention seeker (but note this is only my opinion from what I’ve seen from her social media. Though I know social media might not be a true indication all the time) -So to answer Maddie’s comment above, no we don’t have trust issue. I don’t have problems with being friends with the opposite gender. But I find this girl odd for contacting my bf.
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