Help me get a read on this situation?


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  • This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 5 years ago by Lane.
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  • #781518 Reply
    Keilani Morris

    There’s a guy I met about 2 months ago at the gym. The first time we met, I was doing the splits on the floor (I’m a ballet dancer so I’m very flexible) and when he saw me doing that, he let out a little yell and then asked if I could do a handstand lol.

    At the end of class, I was dancing by myself to the music. He saw me dancing, and he literally moved so he could clearly see me in plain view to watch me dance. I made eye contact with him, made a silly face, and continued dancing and twirling my hips around in a circle. Then, he walked over to me and said, “So is this what you come to the gym for?” And I said, “To dance? Oh yeah!”

    After that day, I’d see him around the gym regularly and we took the same classes together sometimes. I felt like he would notice/look at me more. I remember there was one time when I walked in the door and he was already there and he noticed me, and when I made eye contact with him, he sustained eye contact even when I looked away. When I looked back, he was still looking at me. So I gave him a small smile and he smiled back.

    I remember after class that day, he and I smiled at each other and said goodbye. After that, I didn’t see him for a whole month! I don’t know why he disappeared or where he went.

    BUT, last week, he reappeared at the gym! I was about to leave, but I spotted him working out and couldn’t help but look at him because I was thinking, “Oh my god, is that who I think it is? I haven’t seen him in forever!” When I looked at him, he made eye contact with me, and I smiled at him, but he didn’t smile back. Instead, he broke eye contact and didn’t smile back, and didn’t look at me again. I think it was because at the time, he was focused on working out, was distracted and didn’t expect to see me, so he was probably caught off guard.

    The next time I saw him, he and I ended up taking the same class. When I walked in, I think he was looking at me and noticing my presence. During class, I looked at him with a smile, his eyes met mine, but then he looked away without smiling back. He looked back at me again, and he held eye contact with me for a couple seconds before looking away (but he still didn’t smile back!). After that, during the rest of the class, I think he started staring/looking at me more than before.

    At the end of class, I started dancing to the music. The guy noticed me dancing, walked over to the coach and a group of guys, and pointed at me. They all turned to look at me and the coach yelled, “YES GIRL!” And I smiled and asked the coach to be my dancer partner. So the coach started dancing with me, and soon enough, we were having a little dance party! And all the guys, including the guy I’m interested in, formed a circle around us and watched us dance.

    My question: My gut is saying that he’s into me. I feel like I’ve been sending signals to this guy that I’m interested, but he isn’t making a move or talking to me. But maybe I’m wrong? What should I do?

    #781519 Reply
    Tallspicy

    Nothing. Do nothing. You have made your interest clear. If he is not acting on it, there is a reason why… girlfriend, ex, boyfriend, whatever. Just stay warm to him and be open to others

    #781521 Reply
    Lane

    He could very well be in a relationship! You don’t know anything about this guy other than some non-verbal cues (looks, stares, smiles) with a little friendly ‘chit chat’ thrown in that could very well mean nothing to him other than some friendly gestures based solely on the fact you go to the same gym.

    Do nothing! Trust me, if a guy is really into you and you are giving him the signal to approach, which you have done plenty of, you don’t have to do anything further. He’ll let you know if he is but the fact is he could be with someone else, or possible he went through a breakup during that month and/or got back together…in either of those events he would be in no emotional condition to start anything with anyone *if* that is/was the case.

    #781527 Reply
    Keilani Morris

    True, that’s what I was thinking! He could very well have a girlfriend or even be married, or not be in the right emotional place to start a relationship or something.

    I did make my interest clear, so there really isn’t much else I can do haha.

    Was I wrong to think that he is attracted to me/into me? Of course I don’t want to be overconfident or misinterpreting anything, so would like to get outside perspectives!

    #781536 Reply
    Lane

    No, I think you are looking for any sign or signal and misreading them. A Green light is clear, a yellow mean proceed with caution, and all he’s done is given you Red light thus far as he’s done absolutely nothing other than look at you and engage in very little chit chat.

    Heck he disappeared for over a month and I’m pretty sure didn’t have one single thought about you, especially since he appeared to be so unwelcoming when he saw you at the gym again. Maybe he was having an off day but thus far I see no evidence that he see’s you as anything but another gym member who goes to his gym.

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