Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › Help please!! I broke no contact :(
- This topic has 11 replies and was last updated 7 years ago by
peggy.
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Venus
So after exactly 11 days I called him, he was working and said he will come online. But he did not, after 30 minutes, I texted him. It was something urgent. its been 2 hours and he has not come online and I am feeling very low. What should I do? Go offline? Keep waiting for him? what is ‘urgent’?
A brief background, we were in exclusive relationship, we did not breakup officially, we just stopped talking often and then did not contact each other from last few days. Mainly because he kept saying he is busy.
Sherry
You have a right and deserve some answers, but still, if a guy is acting this way, it just means he’s a chicken who can’t face the music and who can’t be honest. This is common for men who aren’t real men. I would tell you to say your piece, get it ALL off your chest, and then tell him to go to hell.
This is selfish, disrespectful and DISHONEST. Any guy who pulls this kind of stunt, I suspect, has to have a new girl in the picture. At least it really seems like it.
Venus
He came online and I ask him why are you doing this! He said, just make most of now.
Then, I had to go somewhere, I said, I have to go. He said, fine speak tomorrow same time. In ten minutes he said, miss you and love you a lot of times!! He said, its work and he can’t talk to me at any other time. Which was not a problem before.
I feel very bad that I broke no contact. I have decided to go no contact again and this time not break it. Problem is, he knows that after 10-11 days I will come back to him. But this time I will not. I feel I get weak after a few days.
Is there a way to not give in, get carried away and stay firm??
Lane
Hi Venus,
I don’t think its fair to just pop-in after almost 2 weeks, and then get all in a tizzy because of his lack of response when you did it during his working hours. Sorry, but he’s being paid “to work”, not go online and chat with you. You don’t know if his supervisor was around, or he was given an urgent task. Companies are firing people over this today, so you should be mindful and respectful of his employer and work time.
You should have waited until he wasn’t at work, knew he was home, and MAY have gotten the prompt response you were desiring. As to your communication issues, it doesn’t appear he’s putting in any effort and neither have you. Not sure he owes you anything as I think there are bigger problems than this alone that have been going on or festering for quite awhile now. It seem neither of you have the kahunas to throw in the towel.
Venus
Hi Lane,
He was working at home when I called. Earlier on this was not a problem and we could call each other at any time. This is a very recent development that, first he disappeared for 2 days then I was told of a certain time when I should be talking to him!
He did not discuss any concerns with me, other than he needs to be more focused on his career.
By the way he has been behaving, it’s curtains for me. I just need to stick to the mindset that I am in at the moment and not reach him. This feeling of self-respect and hurt, stays for a few days, then fades away and I start to miss him. I do not know what can I do to stay no contact.
Thanks,
VenusVenus
Hi Sherry,
I just read in another thread that your guy contacted you in 4 months!!! Really!! How did you react to him? You took him back? I do not know the complete story, but do tell briefly.
For me, I feel, if someone don’t contact for a week or two then they are gone!! Like really gone!!Is that not the case?
So if I stay busy, like I did for couple of weeks. Are there chances that he will pull his acts together and we can be same as we were before?
Venus
Lane
How long have you been seeing each other?
Trust me, I know how hard it is when the man starts focusing on other things, rather than his GF (or wife in my case), but if you can accept it, support him and not rely on him to fill up your time or calendar, he will remain in touch and be receptive to you.
Men need to know their ladies are supportive and can accept being a bit neglected because she has her own fulfilling life and isn’t reliant on him to fill up her time or calendar. A man’s career is HUGE to them, its a big part of their manhood/identity, whereas if a woman is supportive he will clear his calendar to be with her if he knows it will be a pleasurable (no drama) experience.
I believe you have different expectations and goals than he does, so probably not a good long-term match. Not everyone’s meant to be together.
Venus
Hi Lane,
We have been exclusive for over a year now. 13 months to be precise. My frustration stems from the fact that we discuss every small thing normally, except this one, he is behaving this way from last one month.
When we do share time together, he gives me all his love but problem is now he wants to drive and not respect when I am busy. It goes like, can you meet me at 1 pm tomorrow, if I say , yes then great! But if I say no, then no problem, wait for me to tell you next available time!!
I have asked him politely, firmly and clearly, why is he doing that and if he can restore the equilibrium, but he is adamant.
Believe me, I am equally busy and concerned and we both do not disturb each other. But here it is more like, speak to you at 6PM and he won’t talk to me at 5:58PM!!! What is all this all of a sudden!!! I sometimes doubt if he has turned psycho overnight!!!
It is so easy to just say that , huh! move on. But its so not practical and that easy! Like I said, I will try to stay no contact and sort out my thoughts.
Thanks again,
Venus
Mou
I met a guy in matrimony we spoke fell in love he stays in sydney after 13 days we met kissed we planned for future. After getting back he said i lied about my height which i actually did i told him i was 5’1 while i was 5 anyways then he said he wanted proof of my height i send him a pic he wasn’t convinced and blocked me saying i m just a girl of 20 days with no expectations i was hurt n shattered.after 2 weeks i said sorry. He said all good and then no text . He replies wen i text thats it. what should i do ? He will be back in jan but i dont know if he still has feeling s for me . If he met someone else. I am getting nuts i love him so much.pls help i feel he there is a way i can win him back. Help me someone
Amanda
This post is almost 3 years old
Emma
Didn’t someone had pills here recently that make you taller? LOL
sorry couldn’t resist.
There is more than one guy out there in your locality, is there not? Seriously there is gotta be at least 2. Or maybe even 3. LOL
Do not chase him, do not reach out, leave him alone, reaching out to him will give you the opposite results of what you want. Why is it so hard for women to comprehend? When a man is not contacting you it is because he doesn’t want it. Going after him will only make him feel flattered but will lower your value in his eyes automatically. If he doesn’t contact you then you accept it as a sad fact. Trying to force things will not give you what you want, i.e. he will not fall for you this way. He might agree to see you once or twice, but he won’t fall for you. He will go chasing after a woman he can’t have, someone who is not easy and available. readup about testosterone, you’d understand it better then, if your female instincts are numbed by modern age “wisdom” of “why can’t women court men”.
peggy
Just shaking my head at all the sad girls on here-turning themselves into pretzels, waiting around, accepting crumbs of attention etc. SAD SAD SAD. Relationships are meant to enchance our lives-not BE our lives. A relationship should make you feel happy, inspired, uplifted, confident,full of love given and received etc. If you are not feeling any of that,it is not a healthy relationship!
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