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- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 4 years, 2 months ago by
Mandy.
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Mandy
I ran into a childhood classmate and neighbour’s dad some 6 months back at my workplace.. his dad hadnt recognised me but i had and i asked him.about his son and family. He then shared me the contacts of his son and daughter.. a week later his sister contacted me and when i asked her about the brother she said i should just text him.since he aint great in keeping in touch. We both in different countries. Soon then i mesaged him on whatsapp. Its been 6 months now and our conversations have never ceased. He shares with me things from his life, asks about mine and always notices my stories on fbnor WhatsApp and mentions them to me when he texts back. He once asked if i was single and willing to look for someone to be with. We talk about deep stuff like issues in his past and a few things about his present. He always asks me about my life and how it has been so far. We sometimes even exchange upto 30 messages at a go and wait for the other to get back. The messages are long ones like novels being exchanged and whenever we delay even ny days we do apologise to one another in the delay and make sure to reply to every part of the message. Wehave complimented each other several times over the text. He added me on Instagram immediately and i to fb after a few weeks. He makes me laugh over his texts messages and shares general stuff like whats he has been watching over netflix with his mum, or like his sister was coming over to cut his hair or he did some cleaning in his garden. It likes like we make sure the conversation never ends and they are always questions for the other to answer when they get back.. he says he is shy and intovert guy and he likes taking things a day at a time. We both live in different countries with different time zones.. when i dicuss a probelm at my workplace or in my family he listens oit to it and replies to it. He has never like avoided talking about them and always offers a listening ear and an opinion to it. So are we just going to remain as text buddies? Lol im beginning to like this guy and it feels weird
Moderator update: This is a duplicate of a separate topic – since it looks like this one’s is receiving reponses, I’ll go ahead and delete the other one.
Raven
Why did you post this again under a different name?
Tallspicy
I am not sure what your question is. But, shy introverted men get girlfriends all the time by doing more than texting.
If he is not trying to see you in person, he is just enjoying the conversation. Men do not invest in texting like women do.
Stop over investing in time and attention to a man who is not your boyfriend. Let him initiate and lead. And stop making up a love story out of at best a pen pal.
If you want clarity ask him what he wants from dating and if what you have going on is in consideration because you don’t want to waste your time.
Mandy
Hii.. thanks tallspicy. Im not trying to make out a love story out if here. When you say men dont invest in texting like women do what do you mean? He texts me really long long paragraphs.. we live in different continents.
Anyways i will try to wrap up the conversation because i havent replied to him yet. Its just the way he texts.. sending me links on Instagram and you tube and talking generally about his life.. but i will try to wrap up the conversation now so that it leaves no room for any kind of investment esp from my side. I guess its my fault that i overspoke to him in the texts..Tallspicy
You should do whatever you want, but it should not be an investment. Him texting long paragraphs and such really just means he enjoys talking to you. Nothing more, unless he says so. So if you are interpreting this as growing, I challenge the view that he enjoys interacting with you and you respond. He he were growing this, he would want to talk on the phone and suggest seeing you.
Men do not attach meaning, growth or investment to long texts, they are simply doing what feels good in the moment… it has no meaning. It is not how they create long term connection and attraction. They do that by escalating and spending time together. If he was arranging time to talk to you and saying he wanted to see you and actually buying a ticket…. well, that would be another story.
You can write him a ton, just do not get invested or assume it means anything.
Mandy
Thanks def you cleared out the space for me.. i guess being a woman you naturally can feel attached to someone over text.. he siad he enjoys talking to me.. yes so you make sense. He should have made a move like a phone call.. but on my end im know i like him more and if i continue talking to him its gonna hurt me more in the end. So the best thing to do is to wrap up the conversation in a polite manner.. yes true he probably just likes me as a friend and enjoys talking to me. Being 29 years old as in both us makes it better to walk away now then later knowing that im feeling attached to this guy.. thanks for helping me out and understanding the situation..
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