He’s changed the communication pattern

That was great advice Lane. I cant really add apart from to say that when a guy is interested he will make time to see you and have nice interactions with you. This is more important and relevant to a guy than the texting. Its never a bad idea to pull back and focus on having fun in your own life. That’s always a positive thing not in a game playing way but in a looking after yourself first kind of way. x

Thank you ladies for your responses

@ Lane I do feel sometimes that I do come across as needy and I can feel it, because each time he call or initiate anything I feel happy and relieved,, so kinda relying on him to make me happy, it could be because I really like him.

@Amy S I am not referring only to texting its calling I am referring to ,, as we live an hour away i feel that calls make us get closer to each other. I not a texting person myself.

@Carrie this month will mark our 4th month together and he always includes me in his future plans and I never talk about future with him. He plans all dates the only thing I do is turn up,, i know h likes me really a lot,, and I was going to have the talk (only if he’s not going to bring it up) to clarify the frame of this relationship by our next date which we didn’t yet set. Also in regards to initiating the calls,, The past week was the only week I ever initiated any communication since the beginning of the relationship because it shim who always calls and plans. By from now on I will not text or call.

Don’t wait around on him. Plan your own weekend.

Be a happy single until you meet someone who is worthy of your time and attention.

It seems like he is going slow – you need to mirror or follow him if you want him.

First off, let me answer your question and say that yes, I think you are doing the right thing by not calling or texting and waiting for him to do so. Personally I’ve found that when there is this kind of change in communication where you go from calling/texting every day to where you are initiating and he’s not that’s usually a bad sign. In my own experience and in reading so many posts on here, the 3-4 month mark seems to be the deciding time for a lot of men in determining whether to continue to pursue the relationship and whether or not this is something he can see going long term. Normally that would mean you would be talking and seeing each other MORE than you were in the beginning of the relationship if the relationship is progressing. That is how my relationship with my boyfriend went. From talking/texting ever couple days and seeing each other 2-3 times a week to daily communication and spending most of our free time together.

So I do think he is considering whether or not to make this exclusive and committed and officially boyfriend and girlfriend. You need to step back and let him make that decision. But if he’s not seeing you more as you two discussed, and now he’s backing down the communication, then it doesn’t sound good to me.

Hmm, so at the beginning he was talking to you all day every day, but then occasionally would take longer to respond, then corrected it per your request, and then started to drop away again, and now you have to initiate the conversation 3 times out of 4? I think he has absolutely lost interest, whether it was because you were needy, we do not have enough information about. It was probably a combination of things. All these things require two participants and maybe you vibe was off, or maybe he was just here 100% into it. I find it odd for him to ask you by what time would you want to be committed. That to me sounds more like, how long can I date her without having to “commit”.
I say turn the tables on this guy and close that texting shop immediately. If he stops texting altogether, you know it’s over, and if he wakes up and misses you and starts contacting you, be very selective and careful with your time and make sure his intentions are really clear.

You need to understand that when you go emotionally ahead of a man this will happen. In order to stay happy you have to let him lead.

You have expectations and that is what is making you unhappy…you are saying inside, “Well, he should step up….dadadada…yadda yadda.

If you just let him be him and let him surprise you with where he goes (and you follow) then you will not be disappointed. If he takes you no where you are not upset, you did not expect him to take you somewhere …if he does take you somewhere you are surprised since you did not expect it…then you can have joy.

Do not get ahead of a man.

Ok, this is going to go where this is going to go. You do not control the situation.

Either this man want to stay with you or not…he has his own mind and reasons, which may or may not have to do with you.

The thing is to be accepting of whatever goes on here….if he stays or goes….you need to be above that. If you are happy with him and he stays then great. If he goes it is better for both of you since who wants someone half hearted about them?

It is critical in this and other relationships you allow the chips to fall as they may knowing you will be just fine…that is confidence in yourself as a person. When you show that you have a winning ticket in any situation. When you come across to him or any man that “I enjoy you but I am fine without you.” it is like a magnet….

You do nothing but be charming and accepting of whatever comes. I would not reach out anymore…let him lead.

redcurleysue& funnychan Thanks for your responses.

I did have expectation and I hoped this might go somewhere. And it was him who always showed me high level of interest. I guess he was playing me or testing my waters. Clearly i failed the test

NADA, you’re handling this all wrong. You feel hurt but why? He hasn’t done anything wrong! You’re not even in an exclusive relationship. He’s just in touch less. That is his choice. You haven’t spoken to him about you feeling bad recently so how is he to know?

So you feel hurt and you want to now hurt him? How is that going to lead to a healthy relationship? How would you feel if he ignored your calls and texts for days? I would think I’d been ghosted and I would move on if I were him.

Pushing him away is not the same as taking a step back.

I think the 2 of you are incompatible. You met him in December and were already complaining to him in January you didn’t like how things were going. I think he’s just not someone who needs to be ion touch every day and you are. Of course he was for the first month, but often communication (not meeting up) slows down after that first initial excitement.

Hannah Thanks for your response. I am hurt because i highlighted previously that his communication was inconsistent and he’s improved it then we are back now to square one now. That’s why i am upset because i feel like he didn’t take into consideration what i had highlighted and its showing me that he seeing me as not important.

In regards to ignoring his call and text message, I was so upset that he ignored me for 6 days and then expected me to call by saying “I haven’t heard from you??” The only reason I improved initiating calls was to show him am interested not for him to rely on me for all communication

About telling him how i feel, its because i dont want to come across as needy.. I am not sure what to say or how to highlight if he ever initiate another call or meet up again??

It’s not needy to tell him what you want. The thing is, you already tried that, he tried to be what you wanted but fell back to his natural pattern, which is what always happens!

If you were initiating before and didn’t tell him you were stopping, how would he know? He could have spent those 6 days wondering when he would hear from you for all you know.

It may make you feel unimportant, but he may just be someone who doesn’t need to keep in touch all the time. This is why I don’t think you’re compatible. You can’t change who he is. Like Lane says, you accept someone as they are or find someone else who can give you what you want.

I saw you say you’re not exclusive? What’s the questioning? and since 2015 you’re dealing with him? It’s now 2019…I’d start dating…