Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › he's coming over to my place for first time
- This topic has 12 replies and was last updated 7 years, 2 months ago by
Flowerchild.
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Flowerchild
Some of the advice given to people on this forum is harsh in tone so please be gentle with me even if you think my question is stupid lol
The guy I’m seeing is coming over to my place for the first time in a few days. I’m making dinner. So far we’ve made the arrangements by text. His latest text says something like “Can’t wait. Really looking forward to it.”
Do I actually need to *reply* to this text, or would that be over keen? He’s accepted, he’s got the address, is there anything more to add?
Also, if you were a guy would you read this invitation as suggesting the woman is ready to have sex with you as well as cook you dinner?
b
nope. don’t reply.
and how long have you been dating? how many dates? an invite into your home + food = set-up for hook up in his eyes. so yep, he’s prob gonna WANT sex.. it’ll show more how he approaches it and responds if you decline.
Owl
I don’t think you *need* to reply but even if you did, responding with something like, “Me too, see you soon,” would hardly be classed as disastrous.
Khadija
Can you provide more detail?
Are you ready to sleep with him?
Amanda
I would just reply with a smiley. As for sex, if this is the first time you have been alone at home together (as in you haven’t been to his place) yes he will expect sex if you don’t clarify. I have had guys over, or been over to their place, but I mention, “by the way, I just want you to know that while I am excited to see your place (show you mine), I am not ready for sex yet”. As long as I said that there has never been a problem. But he will expect it otherwise. You can refuse of course, but he will be disappointed.
Sam
Am i too naive or conservative to say that i have never invited my SO to my house since we met 6 months ago? I have been to his place but for a short visit when he invited me. He just showed me around. I dont know but until i am in a committed relationship, i will never invite a guy to come to my place. Maybe the difference for me is i have a child (who lives with me 50% of the time) and i consider my house sacred and wouldn’t invite some random men to know and see where i live. I guess i am too cautious as well. I also wouldn’t want to give the guy the impression that i am ready to have sex with him.
Flowerchild
Hi Khadija
Well the 2nd date ended with a sleepover and I wanted sex with him then but I also felt it was too soon and so decided to wait. What actually happened is that we were kissing, hugging etc and things got out of hand and we both wanted and almost had sex but I changed my mind at the very last minute. He was very sweet about it and we ended up sleeping in the same bed and just hugging and kissing a bit more. Since then we’ve had another four dates where we’ve just gone out for dinner and talked and done normal dating stuff but no sex. Neither of us are seeing other people.
In a nutshell, I’ve really wanted sex with him since that time on the 2nd date but I decided to wait to spend more time getting to know him. It feels right to have sex with him now.
Hannah
No you don’t need to reply to that. Some men are surprisingly sensitive, so if you don’t reply and he doesn’t text you back at some point, just send him a friendly hello. (But like in a day or something, not a few hours!)
As for sex, he’s probably hoping but he won’t expect it. Just do what feels right for you. By the sound if it, you’re ready anyway!
Khadija
Sounds like you two have done everything but, have sex with each other.
If you are ready by all means go for it.
As I always say be ready and okay with whatever happens afterwards.
kaye
Personally when I just start dating someone I reply to every text they send because I know how it feels if you text and never get a response. Unless they send me an LOL or a K in response to something I sent which obviously doesn’t require a response. Especially when a guy tells you he’s really looking to seeing you and you don’t reply it’s kind of rude. How would you feel if you said the same to a guy and got nothing? You’d probably be overanalyzing why he didn’t respond (is he not looking forward to it too?) just like you are with whether to respond to him.
Anyway I do think guys feel like sex is definitely on the table when you are inviting them to your place and cooking them dinner for the first time. And if you’re ready for as you say there’s no reason to be worried about it. Just let things progress naturally.
Raven
Wash your sheets…
Flowerchild
test
Flowerchild
why won’t this post?
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