Hes gone from being so interested to zero intereste

When people have said that in the beginning- believe the negatives- this is what you should do. If a man was highly interested, he would not say he doesn’t know where this is going or bad timing. He’s mildly interested, but most likely is seeing others too or not that interested in you. My advice is to not do anything, and let him make all the plans. This will let you know his true interest, which when you directly asked him was not positive. So he did let you know and you still stayed with the mild interest level so he thinks things are fine they way they are. I don’t see it changing or progressing unfortunately.

My experience is that men that show a really big concentrated interest at the beginning often pull back when they think they “have” you. The level of high volume texting isn’t sustainable and they get comfortable.

Also at a certain stage all their ott enthusiasm wanes as they start to think about whether they see the relationship going anywhere. Often when they don’t they pull back but don’t drop you immediately because even though they might not see a future with you they like you enough to enjoy your attention and company and don’t see the need to end things all whilst you seem fine with the situation and aren’t asking for more etc. Then once the dtr is raised they tend to be a bit wishy washy with their response- I’m not sure i want a relationship, I’m super stressed right now, i like things as they are … etc etc

He has told you with his words and his (lack of) action that he isnt interested in progressing the relationship. Listen to him, pull way back and expect a slow fade.

Its not you its just he isn’t feeling the elusive “it”

I’m with Tallspicy, you gotta pull back and let him lead. If he doesn’t reach out and make an effort then you have your answer.

Sometimes “nothing” is all the answer they are willing to give and that’s basically giving you “nothing”.

A man needs to initiate and want to make plans with you, otherwise they are not really in it. I don’t think you should have reached out and done the whole “what are we” conversation because now he definitely knows you want the relationship more than him and if he was worried about losing his freedom before then he’s definitely going to see you as putting expectations on him and it will scare him.

Indifference is a thing with men and it’s a bummer. It’s not that they don’t like you so they won’t tell you “I’m just not feeling it” because when they think about you there’s just nothing good or bad. He likes your company but isn’t motivated enough to pursue.

This is when you pump the brakes and let him lead. Don’t reach out, and don’t have anymore conversations about what you are. If he wants you, he’ll fight for you.

I agree with Paige. When I first met my bf, he was working 50+ hour weeks at work, and balancing his parenting responsibilities (he shares custody of his young son with his ex wife). And he still found time to take me out 1-2 times a week and text me constantly every single day. No guy is “too busy” for a woman that he’s really, truly interested in.

I want to add, I would probably stop asking for advice from the friends who told you to have the “what are we convo” with him.

It’s one thing to have that conversation when you’re both investing and it’s been consistent for a while, no red flags.

For a friend to tell you to bring that up when he’s been silent and inconsistent, is nuts. He’s going to be like “how is this girl asking me this, when I haven’t even been around? Weird.”

I don’t know, that’s just my opinion. Again, when a guy pulls back that’s his answer to you. He may not be saying it with words but his actions are and men work by their actions. Their silence speaks volumes.

I am also sorry you’re going through this. It’s so hard when you like a guy and are ready for more or for more of the same! And they just give less and less. Men speak to us with their actions first and foremost. You’ve been given EXCELLENT advice on this thread. I only wanted to reiterate – never try to lead the man. Asking to take a walk is initiating spending time together and texting first or more often is initiating contact – both of which the guy MUST do or you will NEVER know their true interest level.

It’s so very very hard sometimes for women, especially successful, high quality women, to sit back and let the guy come to them because they are used to taking charge and handling their biz like a boss. But the wisest high quality woman knows that a man worth his salt WANTS to earn you and she just gets to be in the receiving mode. And if a guy starts pulling back – she thoughtfully mirrors him and pulls back as well. She may feel bit sad and frantic inside, but she watches and waits. Refocuses on herself and tries to stay busy. Then, she will bring it up in person because she’s been patient AND because she deserves to know! And then she WALKS if he does immediately seek to remedy what’s happening and especially if he gives excuses or surges but then pulls back and acts flakey again.

I follow my own advice. I recently broke it off with a man for similar time frame of dating and similar reasons of not stepping up or progressing the relationship. It was difficult and sad. I still wish he would call me and say how dumb he was! Haha. But he is not. So I’m relieved and mostly happy. I know what I want. I will not settle. I bet you do too. The guy for you will not fade off or disappear. Screw tepid men! Tend to you. You’ll be fine.