Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He's says I'm too young for him?
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 8 years, 1 month ago by
Phillygirl.
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Carly
So I’ve met an amazing guy, we hit it off really well, dates for a while and really enjoyed it then he said I was too young for him for it to develop into anything serious. So we took a break but have ended up being friends. We chat every day, he still flirts with me and I ignore it. He’s 41 and I’m 32, he’s been married and divorced and I’m separated with one child so really mature for my age. He loves my son and still spends time with him now and me as well. We meet for coffee, go to the gym and have a great friendship (no kissing, sex or anything) we both are not seeing other people. I’ve asked him what the issue is about my age and he said he doesn’t really know he’s just against dating more than 7 years his junior.
What is with the age issue and if this is the only thing holding him back is there anything I can do to change it?
L
For starters? You are still married!
Duh
If that is how he feels, it’s how he feels. He’s been clear he does not want a relationship with you.
Never try to convince a man he should be with you. Even if you’d manage to change his mind in the short term, he will reset to his original mindset and break it off.
Also, you devalue and disrespect yourself in the process. You don’t fight for someone who doesn’t want you! Not ever.
You pick yourself up and move on. We all deserve someone who wants to be with us and believes we make their life better and more meaningful. You will not find real love with someone you have to drag kicking and screaming into a relationship with you.
Stop treating yourself with such little regard and forget this guy. Find someone who wants you in their life
Amanda
Wow I wish there was more guys like that! Most 40 year-olds are trying to date 23 year-olds! And as has been said, move on. For whatever reason that is how he feels. He could not like it and use age as an excuse, or it could be a principled thing for him. If he wanted you he could have you. He is choosing not to have you. Find someone different.
Anne
Who knows why he doesn’t like your age and who cares? He doesn’t want to continue with you. It might not even be your age; he might have just said that because he didn’t want to get into a difficult interpersonal conversation. Stop wasting your time trying to figure this guy out.
Annie
Maybe he doesnt want to spend a lot of time doing kiddie activities. I dont date guys with little kids cause mine are grown and i have already done that.
G
Maybe he doesn’t want to say you are immature..
Anon
There can be difficulties with age differences of more than 5 years and he wants to avoid that. Move on.
Phillygirl
He may have only used that as an excuse to end it. It doesn’t matter if that is his real reason, or not. Because he is making it clear he does not want more.
Never chase a man, and never go into convincing mode. He doesn’t want a relationship with you, bottom line.
If you allow him to stay in your life you will continue to develop feelings and attach. This is not good for you, or your child.
Also, if you allow him to stay in your life in the capacity he chooses, he believes it’s okay and it will not suddenly make him fall in love or want to be with you. He will reap the benefits of your company without commitment, but you will just be in pain. And it will gut you when he tells you he’s met someone he wants to be with.
No contact is the best course of action. You detach, heal, and get over him. So you can find the one who wants you in their life.
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