He’s Sick!!!

Why is everyone picking the pieces they want to from Anons comments and missing the point of what she’s saying.

Men decide they are not interested but they STILL do the whole ‘Yeh let’s go out on Friday!’ thing. THEN ghost. Or they are back in contact when Friday has passed saying they were busy/sick/had to go out of town and you never end up seeing him again.

Why draw it out? Stringing women along and giving false hope when you know you’re not interested. That’s not quite the same as subtly hinting you’re not interested by not being in contact after a date. And this happens A LOT especially with OLD.

Lia, keep in mind you have a say so about this too.

If a guy lessens his communication, hasn’t followed up with another date, or you just feel things are off you can move on.

I think a lot of women are getting stuck because they are waiting for the guy to send them a text saying no thanks, they want to move on.

A lot of these guys are leaving the door open because they are dating other women and will go back and forth. I’ve seen a post like this time and time ago where the guy comes sniffing around after weeks of basically no contact. Then the woman asks us if she should give him another chance.

Over the years I made dating as simple as possible. I only gave time and attention to men who asked me out consistently. If he started to flake or become “distant” in the beginning stages I was on to the next.

All this back and forth about what a man should be doing and why he didn’t do that is wasting your precious time. You could be out meeting a guy who is upfront and honest with his intentions. They do exist.

Anon, your the perfect exam of WHY men have to do what they do to get away from. Woman who can’t let go of something that hasn’t even materialized!!!!

A man doesn’t OWE a woman a date or a relationship!!! Just because he asks a lady out that he’s initially attracted to doesn’t’t mean he needs to keep asking her out if he changes his mind about her. If you or others can’t handle a man not asking you out again then DON’T DATE…problem solved.

LANE,
I’m going to say this one more time.

I have NO PROBLEM if a man says “hey, I don’t want to go out again”. I’m not going to follow up. Or even ask why. I’ll probably reply with “OK, well, take care, I enjoyed meeting you.”

My problem is when men say “I was sick, then got busy, but I can’t wait to see you again. How about this weekend?”. This is what frustrates so many women. Is he actually busy/sick/phone issues but wants to see me again, like he is saying. Or is he actually not interested, and just saying that to be polite. Because his words say “wow, I got busy, I’m sorry, and I will work on making time to see you again”. Reasonably, if you like someone, you are happy to hear this and stick around.

I have no desire to date someone with no interest in dating me. At all. I don’t feel like any man “owes” me a date- at all. I just don’t understand the thinking behind guys who aren’t interested stating that “something came up” but “they want to see me again” and “here is when I can see you again”.

Lia – I understand completely. It is extremely frustrating and basically happened to me recently as well. But I was in a exclusive, committed relationship with this guy for about 6 weeks! He got the flu (from me lol), then had surgery and experienced a bad reaction/recovery which left his whole face swollen. He sent me pics, so I knew he was telling the truth about the surgery and reaction. Communication faded and every time I reached out to check on him, I got “I’m depressed” “this is really affecting me” and “I’m being very reclusive” and “you don’t deserve this”. He wouldn’t answer where he was and if someone was helping him other than “I’m being taken care of”. He stopped responding after a couple of weeks. I took my hint and moved on. I don’t care how bad you feel, if you can travel and go to appointments, you can send a text to respond to someone who is genuinely concerned for you. But he CHOSE not to. So I chose not to invest anymore time. It sucked, but I’m sure it’s for the best. I still wonder how he is and hope he is ok, but I’ll probably never know…

Lia – yes, I completely suspect that he went back to an ex, or there was someone else all along. There were some red flags before that that I was keeping my eye on. It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve heard from him. I don’t chase, I replace. I’ve already started meeting other men and have gone out on a couple of dates. That was a disappointing experience, but I’ve chalked it up as another lesson learned!