Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › He's so confusing
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 4 years, 8 months ago by
mell.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Cardia
This is a bit long but I’ll try my best to make it short. So, I’ve been in love with this guy for around 5 years. The thing is, i feel like he treats me like a little sister and sometimes talks to me like you would talk to a child. I feel like it could be because he knows me since i was really young, plus, he’s 6 years older than me.Then all of the sudden he would switch and start flirting with me and doing things like grabbing my hands, hugging me, saying that I’m pretty in front on his friends and getting jealous.There was a time where i went to the park where his friends were, to wait for my cousin and some of his friends came to say hi to me, one of them hugged me, he saw it and approach us while glaring at his friend. When the guy that hugged me left, he told me visibly mad that i shouldn’t hug guys so freely like that and left mumbling something. A week later he told my cousin to ask me if i like him, i got nervous so i told my cousin to tell him i don’t ( even though i do ) i thought he was going to become distant after i said that but he’s still going with his confusing behavior. I don’t know, he’s so difficult to read. I feel like he likes me but sometimes i dont.
Jo
I hardly know where to start with all these red flags.
First he is very immature. If he is 6 years older than you then he is old enough to behave in a more mature way.
He is patronising, talking down to you.
He is telling you what you can and can’t do. It’s none of his business. Not only are you not dating, he hasn’t even asked you out. I hope you don’t see this jealousy as a positive thing because it’s not.
He gets “visibly mad” at you. Does he have anger management issues? Is he a control freak?
He walked away “mumbling something”. Great communicator then.
He blows hot and cold.
I know almost nothing about you, but I do know you can do better than this loser.
Dani
Not to make assumptions here, but you both sound incredibly young. May I know your age? I find it a little disconcerting that you’ve been “in love” with someone for 5 years that seems to be single from your explanation and that hugs are leading to jealousy. Just trying to get context because giving advice to a highschooler is a little different than to an adult.
mell
I agree, some age information would be useful – you do both sound very young.
If you’re not teens then his approach is incredibly immature. And if you are teens, then 6 years is a huge age difference, and I’d be worried it would likely not be appropriate. A 13 and a 19 year old are in very different places – even a 16 and a 24 year old are miles apart. It’s only once you both get out and live your lives as grown adults that age becomes less of a factor. If you’re a minor and he’s not, then it’s best that this doesn’t progress further, and it’d be wrong of him to get involved with you romantically, which might well be why he’s holding back. But it;s hard to guess what ages you might be – so that might not be it at all.
It’s not healthy for someone to get jealous because you hug someone else – what’d he do every time you hug a friend or relative? That’s not cute or healthy. You’re allowed to hug any guy you want. Hey, you can date any age appropriate (if you’re young) guy you want! Someone who cares about you also shouldn’t patronise you – if he treats you like a kid, thats not a good foundation for a relationship.
He also has nothing to be jalous of- you aren’t dating and he hasn’t made any effort to ask you out (apart from ask your cousin, which is a childish thing to do). He’s known you for a long time, so unless you’re too young for him to ask out, then he’s had plenty of time to do it – if he really wants to. If he’s not mature enough to ask you out, then he’s also not mature enough to be your boyfriend. A guy who seethes and gets jealous but can’t actually ask you out and be nice to you is not ready to be a boyfriend. It sounds like he enjoys flirting wiyh you, but isn’t ready for more. But, like many guys he also doesn’t want anoyne else to have you – even though he’s made no effort to be with you himself. REgardless of his age, his actions say that he’s not ready to be a boyfriend and would not make a good boyfriend aright now. Even if he’s a grown up, he has a lot of growing up to do.
But my worry is, that you may not be ready to be a girlfriend, yet, either.
-
AuthorPosts
