Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Hint at sex too soon?
- This topic has 2 replies and was last updated 9 years, 2 months ago by
Rose.
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Mel
I met this guy online and we have been going out for 3 weeks now. We hit it off quite quickly and always have a blast hanging out.
We have been kissing and holding hands for a few dates and these days, when we text, he started to hint at sex, not very overtly but in more subtle ways like “I miss your lips” etc. I’m ok with it as long as this doesn’t dominate the conversation but yesterday he went on and on with that throughout the day. I tried to brush it off with cute but non-sexual replies or talk about something else. At the end of the day I asked how his day was, he replied saying his day was meh and had to go to bed. This left me feeling a bit strayed.
I feel that we do have an emotional connection as we talk about work, family, hopes and dreams. I enjoy the physical intimacy too but sex is really too early as I need to feel safe and trust the guy in order to do it.
Am I overanalysing here? Is he just doing his guy thing?
Eric CharlesKeymasterYes.
Sex is never the problem. IF there’s a problem, it’s always about compatibility / quality of connection.
People want to be around people they feel good around. People want to get away from people they don’t feel good around.
It’s always that simple… but if our culture didn’t love complicating and over-analyzing things (and on top of that, in the wrong direction), then maybe I wouldn’t have a career in this. ;)
Rose
Are you afraid he’s going to leave if you have sex with him?
If sex is all he wants he will leave sooner or later. If you don’t trust him maybe it’s because he’s giving you some kind of vibe.
I decided I will have sex with whoever I want when it feels right, having in mind that it may or may not work.
I think trying to possess a guy just cause you had sex is just going to make you feel afraid in any potential relationship and that will show, they can feel that fear and want to run away from you.
And then looking back, my longest relationships started by being intimate early on.
Not saying that you should just go for it but try to relax. I think we tend to think guys that wanna have sex fast are pervs… Maybe they’re just guys and really like what you make them feel.
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