His online account is still active

Nothing, you kind of invaded someone’s privacy. Is it coincidence your best friend stalking your partner? If this is indeed your partner and you trust them, you wouldn’t need to dig in to find out stuff. If you reverse this story, how would you feel? What does really makes you insecure in the relationship? Is like stalking all of his followers or online friends for clues, and I mean do you necessarily talk or flirt with all these guys you’re connected on social media? Secondly you’ve met online.I would expect they kept in touch or chat unless they explicitly told me they deleted it. Perhaps you can have an honest discussion on your relationship and what generates insecurities otherwise you wouldn’t be searching for clues. Being honest never hurts if you feel your integrity is compromised.

At the end of the day women sometimes make things complicated when they are really quite simple. I would get proof from your friend, such as screenshots of his online status, messages or whatever. And if you can verify he is actively online talking to other women, after he made it exclusive with you – that means he’s cheating. Full stop, no questions asked, he’s a loser, you need to BREAK UP. Get out, don’t look back, move on etc etc. There is no “fixing” the situation. He is deceptive, has boundary issues, poor character and lack of feeling.

You will grieve the betrayal and loss of the relationship, heal and grow stronger. It sounds like you may need some therapy anyway because it’s important for healthy relationships to be able to communicate effectively. (I go and recommend it to anyone) It requires being brave, calm, open, secure enough about yourself you can discuss difficult things.

I’m sorry he is cheating on you. Something very similar happened to a friend of mine who was dating her bf for 10 months, and she found out while they were actively looking for an apartment together. She dumped him immediately, did not have Long Talks with him. Because she knew he was just a scum bag, not worth wasting her energy and she knows that closure comes from inside us, not a dude. Wishing you well.

I ran into a guy online someone I know had a complicated relationship with but who wasn’t supposed to be actively online dating… it took me a few messages to put together that it was the same person because we’d never met, but I blocked him and told her as soon as I realized it without any thoughts of it being a privacy violation. So I wouldn’t really worry about that. I’d never do that to someone but I think if the situation was reversed, I’d know I did something very wrong trying to cheat on an exclusive relationship and hurting someone so would be upset I got caught and would try to deflect blame by bringing up privacy violation stuff! If I was willing to cheat so early in a relationship, why would I feel bad about doing so? If I felt bad, I’d not have done it in the first place.

Anyway, I agree with posters here. If you really feel you can’t confront him, get rock solid proof and then leave. And then while you recover from the breakup, do what you can to learn better relationship communication skills. There’s a big difference between being shy and not being comfortable having and expressing needs. There’s some free internet videos and online sources on how to have healthier relationships and communication, and as already said, there’s also therapy. This is foundationally important to healthy, mature adult romantic relationships, and in strengthening your abilities in this area, you’ll actually attract and meet better men as well who would be far less likely to take advantage of you not speaking up.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, but if he still is active online, it’s best to know sooner than later when things are even more serious. And you’ve been able to identify a very important aspect of your relationships from the experience that you can actually do something about to improve your ability to eventually find what you’re looking for if you choose. If he’s a cheater, the break up will hurt, but you’ll really come out stronger for it on the other side. It’s not just a cliche when personal growth is involved!

I’m a little incredulous that your friend can accurately tell how often he is responding. I don’t know what app this is, but if it’s saying he responds 80% of the time, how do you know that’s an accurate figure, and not just an average from when he was on previously before you got together? I would say unless she or someone else you know has actually spoken with him through the site, I wouldn’t put a huge emphasis on that. Also, whether he is active, does it say exactly when he was last on? Or just that his profile hasn’t been taken down? Again, some of these apps/sites try to make it look like some people are more active just to increase engagement.

What your friend is saying could very well be true, but I would just make sure you’ve confirmed everything before you accuse him of anything.

Exclusive doesn’t really mean you’re in relationship though . It just means you’re not sleeping with other people. In my world anyway I can be wrong .
And yes you have waited way too long to have this talk and to be honest if a guy really wanted to be with you he would have asked you if you are seeing others within a month or 2 of dating. Some guys don’t though.
So we don’t know if he is just talking to girls on there or is he actually meeting someone from the app.
I think you need to ask him what being exclusive means to him.

And does he not know that she is your friend?

“If he is making excuses I’m gonna dump him” You have your friend open up her app coffee meets bagel, if it shows he’s recently been online or that he has a recent 80% responding rate – other than confronting him to let him know you’re dumping him I don’t understand what else there would be to talk about.

Just ask him about his CMB account.

“I got a message from someone on CMB and I didn’t answer – I’d rather just delete the app. Have you been on lately? How do you feel about deleting?”

Don’t second guess on third hand information.

People on this forum constantly talk about actions speaking louder than words. How is he behaving in his treatment towards you?

I meant, does he treat you badly and she wants to protect you?

At this stage if you could share more information about your relationship it would be helpful to give you useful advice.

It’s absolutely possible he’s still playing on the app behind your back. And it’s absolutely possible he’s not. We can’t tell entirely from what you’ve said here. Good relationships are all about communication.

I’ll say it once more – TALK to him. Only you can gauge if you think he’s telling the truth. Only you can decide if you’re going to take a chance and trust him. Or if you smell something rotten and feel it’s time to break it off.

Have an open talk about the app. Step up and ask, don’t flinch.

Again, it’s good to get other opinions but would be foolish to make a decision solely on what you’re told here.

I’ve said all I can say here. Good luck.

Just talk to him face to face honestly, this is eating you up and it’s going to cause resentment pretty soon. Time to handle this, no drama, just adult straight talk

My best friend told me to confront him since it wasn’t her position to talk.

I did confront him and he ended it. He said that he likes me a lot and that I was a great girl to be with. He did tell me that he has been talking to girls online but he hasn’t gone on dates with them. I said talking online after we had an agreement not to sleep with other people is still cheating. I told him that he just wanted to see if someone better comes along because he’d complain about my imperfections. The thing is, he’s looking for perfection in a relationship and perfection doesn’t exist…I told him that and he just denied that its what he was looking for. He actually had a go at me telling me that if I wanted him to not be online, just tell him, why confront him and make myself feel I’m the victim. He said you know what it seems I’m insecure…which I’m not, I just wanted answers. I told him, you know what its not working out and I said I want to break things off…we’re not together anymore. I said this at his apartment…and walked out.

I should have known I should know if a guy wants commitment, he should have told me within a month instead of waiting 6 months. I had two serious relationships in the past and we were friends for 2 years before we got together and I treated online dating the same, so I think that qas my mistake.

I’ll get through this, I still feel like maybe I was overreacting but my gut instinct was right and my best friend was right.