"Hope to see you soon"…?

The consensus I’ve gotten from men is that they appreciate direct communication. Communication is key, they say. Even though other women here discourage the extent I follow this- because when I’m feeling “weird” I say so, because when I’m not in the mood to talk I say so, because when I feel like they’re selfish or too forward or too controlling, I say so. Yeah, my moods fluctuate, I’m a girl and that’s just a part of my individual nature and someone who’s compatible with me will have to accept that, you know. If you’re not interested, if you are interested, if you’re seeing other people, even if you’re uneasy or scared, just say it. A guy I was seeing last night said he felt like I had restless energy and he thought it was due to my “someone else”, I told him I was just scared and he said that was okay… I mean, the man you should want to end up with shouldn’t/ wouldn’t look at this as “emotional vomit” as some here have said, he’d look at this as an opportunity to show you he supports you and he’ll be there to comfort you even if you’re a hot mess emotionally because you will be a hot mess MANY times in life. I pretty much told him I thought I fell in love with him in 3 days but we were on vacation and the reality sank in when we got to “the real world”. I told my “someone else” *ex that came back* that I didn’t love him after 6 months and didn’t understand why I was crying over him, e-mailed him a poem saying “what I want I always get, and when it’s you my mind is set. Then I have you so I’m done, walk away, think that was fun! Then allow myself to feel, certain parts of me you steal” This was all after our first break-up, people think it’s crazy, I think these are my authentic feelings and that’s that. Lol

I had an ex contact me, seeing “how I was” he started texting daily just friendly communication and eventually asked if I’d like to meet for lunch when he arrived back from “touring” *he’s a musician. I said fine but my intentions were purely platonic. After several days of him texting and flirting he called me one night at 1am then text when I didn’t answer then again at 5am… my morning text read something along the lines of “Sooooooo I’m already feeling weird about this. It’s just bringing up memories of me not meeting your expectations and our differences in lifestyle… I told you I’m open to hanging out but I’m not interested in being your gf so 1am and 5am text messages aren’t really fitting for our relationship… I apologize if I’ve given you the wrong impression, I wouldn’t mind reconnecting but once again, my intent was always AS FRIENDS…Just an FYI, this contributed to our problems when we were together, you take the ball and not only run, but SPRINT with it even though I told you I wanted it to unfold naturally and you just seem interested in pushing your own adgenda…It’s flattering but it also creates this underlying feeling of guilt and anxiety and it’s discouraging. You’re behavior is unattractive. For future reference try to give ONLY to the extent that you’re receiving… It’s like I took a small step forward and then you took a step, then another, then another, reached me in .5 seconds and my only option is to step back because you’re in my face. Don’t mean to be harsh and I know I’m lacking some tact but I’m just trying to be helpful BC you’re great but with a few minor adjustments you’d be gold”

Lol. He responds a month and a half later “Hey I’ve been meaning to tell you thank you. Our last interaction taught me a lot about myself and it’s worked to my benefit since. So thanks for teaching me something”

Thankyou ABC for taking the time to put together your helpful response.

I’ve been in a similar situation lately. Met a guy and he seemed really into me, adking lots of questions and almost planning how often it would be possible to see each other as live in different cities. He asked for my number and said several times ‘id really like to gwt to know you’ ‘see you again’ etc and ‘when could he text me’. Id tried to come across interested but not chasing. Id been cheerful and chatty and danced with him a few times. So id just smiled and said ‘anytime so long as I get a sleep in’ :-)

Guess what. Been few weeks and haven’t heard. Guess it wasn’t what he was hoping me to say? Im wishing id said during this week. instead of anytime (he asked me again when he left the event).

I thought I liked him and fact he was chasing me and giving me attention (its usually me so im trying to wait for them lol). He had liked to come to my city often so there was a possibility there along with common interests aswell.

Figured wont hear from him and should just move on. But how would I do differently if similar situation again?

I find it confusing trying to figure out how to act. Ive found out im an anxious attachment personality so naturally arent attracted to stable n secure types even if thats what I need. if you’ve heard of these things?

Thankyou for your help :-)