Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › How can I tell if he's interested?
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Stefun.
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Mary Beth
So, I’m in college, and there’s this guy who I think might be into me…but idk how to tell. We’re a fairly immature class as a whole (wonderful, i know), so how do immature guys flirt? He talks to me all the time, has worked on a project with me, throws acorns continuously at me when im outside with my friends, and is always teasing me about stuff. Are these “flirting” signs? we’ve known each other for a long time, and he doesn’t act like this with anyone else – how should i act with him? please help!
Anon
Even ‘mature’ men employ the ‘boy pulls hair of girl he likes’ playground stunt ;)
Raven
Flirt back :)
Mary Beth
lol I guess that’s true about the hair pulling ;)
okay, I’m probably going to sound really stupid, but I’m pretty inexperienced in the dating world – how exactly does one flirt without being “forward”? Is there a fine line not to cross? I just don’t want to mess up lol
Raven
There is a ‘How to Flirt’ section on this site… Give it a read & have fun!
Mary Beth
I looked for it – was it posted on the forums or elsewhere? Thanks again! :)
Harley
You smile
you look away. After 30 seconds . .you look back and smile. look away again. lick your lips. smile. look at the ground. twirl your hair round your fingers. ..look at him..
smile…look at the ground again..look at him..smile…toss your head. walk away. look over your shoulder at him..keep smiling…look away…walk away.Harley
If he sits beside you. …lean in close…then pull away. put your hand on his arm for 1 minute…smile into his eyes. ..compliment him on something. .drop your arm…walk away.
nudge your thigh against his…smile..look shy and embarrassed…Then walk away.
whatever you do. ..WHEN he ups the ante…DO NOT sleep with him
treat him mean….keep him keen!
redcurleysue
One man said if I am talking to you (or throwing acorns) I am interested in you.
Otherwise they ignore you.
Mary Beth
Oh, that’s awesome, Harley! Thank you!
And that’s good to keep in mind, redcurleysue! I’ll take the acorn hits as a good sign lol ;)
Shelly
When you two lock eyes, hold your position for a bit longer than normal. Smile a LOT. Laugh at his jokes. Compliment him on something. Find excuses to touch him while you’re talking.
Em
MaryBeth
“How can I tell if he’s interested?”
You watch.
Even the awkwardest men give themselves away with nonverbal cues.
Being around you is the most obvious one. Following you like a puppy looking for bacon in your hand.
Positioning the front of his body toward you when he talks to you. Meaning you have a full view of his chest and sometimes the “crown jewels” if his legs are spread.
Holding eye contact longer than the average person would or with *slightly* more intensity.
Dilated pupils (sometimes).
A brief “down-up” or “up-down” look when he meets you (less than half a second).
“how should i act with him?”
Give him a light touch on the arm when you talk with him (about half a second).
Pretend you need his shoulder to lean on while you fix your bootstraps.
Ask him to fasten your bracelet.
Mary Beth
Hey ladies!
Thank you all so much for your help – we’re texting now, and everything seems to be moving in the right direction :) Thanks again!Harley
That’s GREAT news. …but now the hard work begins.
NO sexting or answering late night texts.. It shows he’s on after one thing. ..sex.
Stop the texting soon. it’s. ..lazy. ..convenient. ..can show a lack of interest.
If he’s not asking you on a proper date within 2 weeks. ..he’s just more than likely yanking your chain.
If it’s not an outdoor date ( not his house or a friends)…he’s only interested in sex.
If he’s not paying…he’s not that interested. He…can do cheap dates if he font have money. ..walk in the park..soda But if he expects you to.lay your own way…he’s not really Interested.
After a 1st date. Thank him
..say you had a great time. DO Not all when you shall see him again or text him or chase him ….let him show he’s super interested in you.If he wants to also date others, ..sleep with you, or..put you under pressure for sex…jump. His sorry ass.
Wait for him to ask you out. Hint you’d like to see the latest movie….but DO NOT ask him out.
Wait a while before replying to his texts. Do NOT Give Up YOUR life for him…always available to talk..ditch your friends.
Having said all the doom and gloom above…He DOES sound nice and is acting good.
I’m just looking out for you not to make lots of mistakes a lot of us here have in the dating game.
Harley
Pay your own way***
Lilah
Wow Harley, you are spot on!! That is the best way to start a real, solid relationship and not just a FWB. Every young girl starting to date needs to read this thread
Randy
Why is it that women simply lack the ability or the desire to be direct? Lock eyes, turn away, lick your lips…….ahahahahahaha. That’s all great but it’s still a game. If you want a partner (and not a hookup) then treat the guy the way you treat your friends.
The worst one is the Alien Abduction…..where you pass a woman and she makes her eyes REAL BIG and follows you with them…….it’s scary! Makes you think like she’s an alien and about to suck your soul out of your body. :)
In the end your partner needs to be your friend. Start with the friend part and the rest will follow.
p.s. a lot of times we are just not paying attention to what is going on and the hair flipping, outward palm, touch your chest thing. . . . . . we aren’t getting it. If you want a response try something crazy. . . .like saying “hi”. And if you already know the guy ask if he wants to grab lunch together. You will get all the answers to your questions if you can be real and spend time talking.
:)
Harley
We can be direct. No probs. WHEN we’re mature enough to handle the outcome..We come onto the guy…He sleeps with us or not…THEN maybe decides not yo pursue a relationship.
Unfortunately. ..some gals can’t handle the fact of rejection..One night stands fwb. Hence. …my advising the flirting. ..so…You can ascertain he asks YOU out…not the other way round. and he wants you for more than sex and one night.
I’m big enough and bold enough to do the direct show interest. Gets me the man…every time. but…It don’t always end in a relationship.
Also..A man honestly and genuinely likes a girl the moment he asks her out. ..apart from a player dude perhaps, however. .maybe a week later he don’t want to date her. Unfortunately. ..The gal may be head over heels after the first date. Women can be too emotional. so again for those reasons. ..I suggest the indirect, flirt approach.
If a gal makes it too easy for a guy to catch her..A lot of the time. .He gets bored.
There’s nothing wrong with a gal answering a guys questions directly and honest. ..Instead of being passive etc.
There’s a huge difference between flirting. ..and playing hard to get. I’m not advising playing hard to get. I don’t like or advocate that type of game playing.
Mary Beth
Wow, thank you thank you thank you! Great advice!! :) He’s been very respectful thus far…we’ve gone to a friend’s party together, but I didn’t consider that a date… And I agree with the playing hard to get. I don’t do it, and I hate it when my friends do it…is there a definite line between flirting and playing hard to get? Bc I don’t want to overdo it and start the “mind games”. Thank you all again! :)
Mary Beth
So we met up at a football game last night, and sat together, and he talked about seeing me at church on Sunday….so we’ve been hanging out a lot, but these aren’t really “dates”, I don’t think, right? Neither of us have ever had a serious bf/gf, so I guess he’s trying to take it slow…?? I don’t know. Or am I getting friend-zoned?
Harley
Well..I guess you are going to have to ask him that.
No point in wasting your time with him if it’s not going the way you want it.
Just choose a light hearted moment when you are both on your own together and say ‘ so, are we dating handsome ??’ …With a flirty smile and jokey to be of voice.
Listen to what he says. If he hems and haws or says he wants to take it slow. ..I’d say…He don’t want a relationship.
anything other than an instant ‘ yes of course’ …is not an ideal answer. up to you if you wish to continue hanging out with him. If it were me…I’d move on or certainly date others.
A guy knows pretty much straight away
y that he wants to be exclusive with you. This guy has already been checking you out. so…that looks good and hopefully means he wants to date you.Good luck. I recommend you DO ask though….don’t chicken out.
Mary Beth
I don’t mind asking, but since we haven’t even been texting/hanging out for a week, I don’t want to come across as clingy and wanting to jump right into a relationship. I don’t mind taking it slow for a while…how long does the “get-to-know-you-without-officially-dating” phase generally last? I mean, four days after being hit with acorns, we starting texting, and we’ve really only been texting and hanging out for three or four days. (Party, football game, and school are the only places we’ve hung out, but he invited me to go watch his bball games…does that mean anything?) Sorry if I have so many questions – I’ve only ever dated once before, and it was a very brief relationship, mutually ended. So how soon is it okay to ask if we’re a couple, without seeming needy/clingy?
Harley
Yes…it’s a great sign he asked you to his games.
You don’t ask if you’re a couple. ..that sounds MUCH more serious than
a jokey ‘ are we dating ‘ he’ll. ..Most like run for the hills.If you get a good moment ask how he feels about relationships in general. ..not with you and him.
If he’s not sure…doesn’t want anything serious. ..RUN !
I’d wait a week or 2 to ask that.
If he’s not taking you out regular and calling you gf after about 3 mths..RUN.
let him chase you. Don’t sit around waiting on him to call. .don’t drop your plans for him. Live your own life. Don’t say you miss him or ask when you’ll see him again or when he will call.. that’s clingy and needy. .He’ll secretly respect you more.
Sam
Harley
Youv given me so much good advice I’m the past, some of it I didn’t listen to and you turned out to be right every time! But I never see you here anymore, I know there’s more to life haha, but it’s nice to see you back.
Sorry to hijack your post Mary Beth. Good luck to you with this guy!
Mary Beth
Harley, thank you for the fabulous advice! I will definitely follow it, and let you know how it goes! ;) Thanks again!
And, thank you, Sam! Hopefully it all works out with him :) -
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