How can I tell if he's interested?

Thanks Sam. I pop in now and then. No plans to come back regular. I just got plain fed up of all the nasty trolls. And real life got crazy busy.

Mary Beth. .Google and read as much as you can about relationships. It helps. The Mars and Venus books are good by John Gray.

The most valuable bit of advice I would have is learn to be confident, happy in your own skin. Smile. Guys love it. Don’t put up with shit. Don’t settle for less. When a guy is into you…He treats you right and you’ll KNOW he’s into you. He’ll show it by his behaviour. St SOME Stage A Guy WILL DO something to upset and disappoint you. Only you can decide if it’s a deal breaker or not. Early on is when you set your standards for not accepting his crap. A guy…will always try crap. I.e lazy home dates …trying for sex…leaving you hanging by the phone. .maybe late for dates or cancelling
. If you don’t hear from a guy in time for your date…make other plans and stick to them. He’ll soon learn not to jerk you around if he really wants you.

Those are not what I mean by home dates.

I mean the one where a guy just wants to see a girl at his house…All the time.

It smacks of laziness and just trying for sex.

When a guy takes a gal out it shows manners. .respect. ..effort. .He wants to show her off…spend money on her..g go places SHE wants to.

Your current dates are Ok. Good ice breakers to get yo know each other. But at some stage soon he should be seeing you on your own. .kissing and cuddling. ..thing you how much he likes you.

IF the group dates keep going on… I’d have to rethink. ..you may have been friend zoned.

You are over thinking

Relax

it all sounds good. more than good.

If this is how all the group date…The n you’re dating. not friend zoned

just go with the flow. take one date at a time. As long as he’s keeping in touch and asking you to events…it’s working out good

So at school he acted very flirty – touching me on the arms, complimenting me, talking to me a lot, etc. So I guess that’s a positive!

But…a girl (I know her, but we’re not very close) came up to me at school and asked if we were dating. I said I don’t think so, bc we aren’t official or exclusive or anything yet. So she told me that he’s very commitment shy (apparently he liked some girl in the past, but couldn’t get up the nerve to officially ask her out or anything. I had heard about this, but it was about a year ago, and I assumed he had matured some since then). She proceeded to tell me that she just wanted to give me a heads up, but I don’t see why it was any of her business, or why she even brought it up. Like I said, this girl and I are not close, so now I’m really confused. What did that even mean? It seemed very confrontational. Is she jealous? It’s not like they’ve ever dated or anything (trust me. It’s a small school – we all know everyone who’s ever dated).

Mary Beth,
Don’t let others define your situation with the guy. Get to know him on your own rhythm. Enjoy the attention and the flirt. Do not spoil the good times with the unnecessary scenarios in your mind

Okay, thank you ladies! Just needed some reassurance that that girl wasn’t going to change anything :) I am trying not to fall for him, but it’s hard. I usually fall hard and fast, but when the object of my affection moves on, it’s over. I don’t know if that’s bad? My friends can’t believe i move on so quickly. Like I said, I’ve only dated one guy, but there have been plenty of “flings”, I guess.

So, one other note – I stopped the texting. I don’t care for texting to start with, and like you said, Harley, it’s lazy. So now we’re only communicating in person/phone calls. I’m really happy with where things are right now – oddly enough I don’t mind the unofficially dating phase. :/ Anyways, thank you all for your continued support! :) :)

Okay, so I’m probably beginning to be a bugger with a lot of questions lol….but I’m confused about another situation with this guy.

Yesterday at uni, he was late to a class, and I was in between classes, so we stopped and chatted for about five or ten minutes, and everything was great. After classes were over, I was talking to my friend (who is in the class he was late for), and she asked me if anything had happened to him. I said, no, why? Apparently he couldn’t focus in class, was extremely distant (he’s usually so outgoing it’s ridiculous lol), and looked like something shocking had happened. Several other friends asked me if he was okay.

I can’t understand the change in behavior. He was fine talking to me, but acted like a train wreck in class? What? Again, trying not to overthink, but what the heck? Is he hiding something? Should I ask him if everything’s okay? I don’t want to come across as paranoid, but I can’t begin to imagine what would cause the change.

Okay, thank you! Sorry if I seem like a basket case…I just feel like I’m in uncharted territory, and I overthink too much. :) Thank you for always being so helpful!!

:) Well, good to know that I’m not alone ;)

Okay, so I did what you said, and waited for him to talk to me….and he did. Apparently, his best friend and his older sister are dating. I already knew that, and hadn’t really thought much about it, but apparently it’s really stressing him out. I told him I understand how he’s feeling, and that must be really awkward, but now idk if there’s anything else I’m supposed to do? Or is my place just to listen and support when he brings it up? I am glad that he trusts me enough to confide in me about that, though :)

Okay, thank you! Yes, I tried to be supportive and then change the subject. So I’ll just leave it alone until (or if) he brings it up again.

And, Harley, thank you so much for alway being so helpful! It means a lot knowing that there’s a place I can go to ask questions about all this :)

So I’ve been trying to maintain normalcy in my life – I’m not planning on throwing all other parts of my life under the bus for him. However, I haven’t seen him in almost a week (we both went to extended families several states apart for Thanksgiving). I miss him like crazy, but I know I won’t see him until we both get back in town this weekend. We both knew we were going to be busy with family (and I am trying to enjoy the time with my relatives), so we agreed just to talk when we got back. So, I’m going to stick with that, but….ugh. Is it normal to miss him so much? Especially this early in our unofficial relationship?

Thank you! Yes, I thought it was only infatuation. Oh well, I’ll just wait for him to make the first move! :) You’re very right about the rational head…and sometimes I tend to lose mine. Thank you for the reminder!

Could you go up to him in his group from time to time instead?