Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › How guys decide a girl is just an FWB or relationship/girlfriend material
- This topic has 37 replies and was last updated 8 years, 8 months ago by
Hannah.
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What
It’s not that complicated. I’m with Lane on this.
If I meet a guy I decide very quickly if I see him as a BF, a friend or a fwb that I could have fun with, but never see myself in a relationship with.
Attraction is different for everyone, but the process of putting people into such categories is pretty universal.
You can’t control who is going to like vs love you.
Nellie
Maria,
Do you mean even if a man decided to marry the woman, there’s nothing so happy about for the woman because she probably isn’t the one he loves most? :(
Jason
@Lane: “There is also a biological difference between men and women; women are wired to find a mate, but men are wired to sow their seed. If a man isn’t interested in settling down then he’ll sow his seed with as many women he can”
Lane is wrong of course, very stereotypical, but being aware of surroundings and especially the nature of this site, best I just leave it for what it is.
Jason
I couldn’t help it so here it is: Lane, women are also biologically wired themselves, the seed needs to go somewhere to produce a new life, men cannot make kids themselves. You women are wired to produce offspring, you women are requiring male sperm to do so.
Don’t talk biology if you do not know it, men also seek partners and love. This whole idea that all we want to do is fuck and you innocent want a relationship that of course we are against….this whole concept pisses me off immensely!
Jason
“If a man isn’t interested in settling down then he’ll sow his seed with as many women he can”
This is absolute BS, if you can simply not cheat on the father of your two kids who would take a bullet for you then other women wouldn’t matter. The assumption that all women are squeaky clean perfection disgusts me, most women lie and cheat (men too so don’t go there…most people in general perhaps).
Lane
Jason. you are young and don’t have a clue!
Humans are MAMMALS, and were genetically designed like other mammals to procreate and keep the human specie alive, with the male and female have certain ‘roles’ to effect this. You cannot ERASE BIOLOGY, just because you took the human out of the wild, doesn’t mean you took the wild out of the human.
You need to take an anthropology course. Even cave men had several ‘wives’, known as a “tribal unit”, so to carry on their line…no differently that a lion has many lionesses to carry on his. Even in the cave days the cavewomen SELECTED the caveman (usually the alpha and dissing the small skinny ones), just as the lionesses selects the lion.
Candace
Apparently, Jason is the new authority on here, in his 25 years of existence and extensive psychological training, and illnesses, he is better equipped to advise than Lane or anyone else on here.
He continues to put down the advice women provide here .. Because of course he knows it all.
Hannah
Jason, what Lane said was “If a man isn’t interested in settling down then he’ll sow his seed with as many women he can”. They key point being “If a man isn’t interested in settling down”.
This isn’t about cheating or what happened with you in your past.
Men have a higher sex drive than women in terms of finding new partners and not being as selective as woman about who that partner is if it’s just for sex.
Women need someone who is going to stick around for 12-18 months to get them through the vulnerable time of pregnancy and rearing a young child. As a result, they generally won’t have sex until they can feel there is a bond or the potential for a bond.
But, women statistically cheat more than men do, now and in the past. There’s biology in that too. The way to have a genetically healthy harem is for the women sometimes to sneak off and find another mate. Or another, better male will come along and she’ll be off.
Men and women both have their flaws when it comes to this stuff.
Van
She’s saying a man will love a woman, but if she doesn’t possess the qualities he considers to be most important to him, then he will marry someone else whom he loves less, just because SHE possess the important qualities he want.
So, to answer your question, yes, she’s saying that a woman could be married to a man, but that doesn’t mean it’s because he’s SO IN LOVE with her, but it could be because you have the important qualities….but his heart really belongs to someone else.
I don’t know. I’m just explaining to you what Maria is saying…..
Jason
@Lane are you really trying to educate me on things I learned in college 8 years ago, probably learned from reading around 10 years ago? I know bio hunny, stop the condescending attitude, my age is irrelevant.
@Hannah “But, women statistically cheat more than men do”
You are awesome Hannah, you tend to be more objective and less sexist/biased in your posts, love it.
Nellie
Yes Van I get what Maria said.
Then why are women still long for getting a marriage proposal, because while he’s marrying me, his heart is else where. :(
Jason
Nothing to write off in regards to a woman who simply wants sex and call it a day/night.
I consider that a serious relationship (especially in regards to pregnancy and STDs) so I don’t know if I can agree here.
Hannah
Jason, there are major caveats with that. The studies ask “have you ever cheated on a partner”. More women answer yes BUT they may have only cheated once, whereas the men may have many times. Also, what’s cheating? A woman may count kissing someone, while a man is only including sex. But yes, more woman admit to having cheated then men. More men have affairs when married than women do though.
Nellie, I can’t imagine many people go into marriage with their hearts elsewhere. I get what Maria’s saying. I was in love with an ex but I knew he wasn’t right for me as a life partner. I refused marriage and the relationship ended. It wasn’t because I didn’t love him, we just weren’t a suitable fit. The man I married was. I don’t love him any less than the first guy, differently yes, but you go into marriage with your head and your heart. It isn’t enough just to love someone.
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