how often do guys come back after disappearing

Hi Sweets,

Yes this guy is off the radar – may come back may not – he is not serious for you.

Re fb and phone…that’s only a decision you can make. Most regular posters recommend YES.

re moving on. ..definately a YES.

Hi Sweets.

This is how a lot of guys determine if its lust, infatuation or love. A guy needs to be able to MISS YOU (which they do when they take some space) and feel what life would be without you in it. If they can be OK without you in it, then its not love, which is why they prefer the fade because they hate hurting a ladies a feelings and they hope you’ll just move on when they stop showing up—you should always be ready for this event.

Now if not having you in his life would be painful, he can’t get you out of his head and his life would be un-fulfilling without you in it, then its usually love and he will let you know it pretty quickly after this event. Men aren’t in tune with their emotions like woman because their brains are wired differently. They don’t have instant access to their emotions which is why they need to perform tests (like taking space) because they struggle with defining them. This is why they run from them too when a woman gets overly emotional (dramatic) because they can’t process the same kind of feelings we do and instinctively feel the need to get away from them when it causes them too much stress.

Men are from MARS and Women are from Venus…we really are! (hint)

I sent him a text saying that I realise it’s over, if there was any particular reason at all, that It was nice knowing him. He called that minute apologizing again, saying he’s never been so stressed in his life, that he’s busy to be in a relationship right now but wants to see me and he likes me a lot and that I’m the sweetest genuine person he’s met. I said we will see, maybe after my holiday, and he asked to see me next week but I said I couldn’t. But I’m glad we spoke, and that we got things clarified. I feel soo much better, like I can move on now, and I didn’t r blame him or anything.

Rose, he’s not in his rubber band period. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with her. That’s what he meant when he said “I can’t be in a relationship right now” as its classic man speak that every women needs to learn and listen for it. Anytime a man says it this way, that’s exactly what he means and should immediately stop wasting time on him.

I have to agree with the posters who say they will always come back. They always do, and usually it is as if they sense that you have moved on and not a minute sooner. Baffles me every time.

They come back because it’s easier to hit up an old gf or someone they dated , than to find a new one. Men will keep you around as an option to fall back on when bored or don’t have anyone else to focus on.

Many times its to get sex or an ego boost. Shows him he can disappear and still get your attention.

I agree Alia. There’s a guy I met once at a party over two years ago who I never went on a date with and he still “pops in” two or three times a year asking how I’m doing—I just delete his text and have never responded once. He recently freaked me out by finding out who I was, have no clue how because my cell number is unlisted and unpublished (I checked), and attempted to friend me on FB and I’m like WTH?!? Its creepy.

I honestly think their bored (too much down time) and go through their contact list wondering which one’s will amuse them for a bit or who might be down for some sex. I don’t entertain these guys, but it confuses a lot of the younger ladies on here who are trying to figure out what he wants because he texts but doesn’t ask them on a date OR if she wants to come to his or he can come to hers…sadly, too many fall for it.

Met a guy in france Thorow friends we had a great week together then I flew to another city and he stay in france since i left he only what’s uprising no call nothing only what’s up after a week whys up me on daily base he inform me out of the blue that he did a medical test in beefing of july and everything was ok and then he did another one two days after I left and is it alright and between those days beginning of july till he met me end july he dated two girls and slept with them without condom and he goes not sure who gave me this gift not sure f is you cause to early to know and I say to my self wtf you can’t call why you keep doing test every two weeks and hope you didn’t slept with Hockers etc and he say I want you to take foodedication and he sende the report of the exsam then he say he will go to the doctor to ask I ask him to send me the report on English so o can understand and he never do he say you can go to a doctor who speak french then he write a day later that he went to the doctor and he say his nothing to do with sex and it because he was caufing and he don’t like the way I response and he will cancel me the ticket to come see him I say till now do t understand the report big relief and sorry if I was hard on you got scared and wish him nice weekend and since then he dissapir

I’m having the same problem. Ive been friends with this man for maybe ten years or more. In the past i had a feeling he may of had a thing for me but, never acted on it.. Just the other week he tells me hes always attracted to me and has good intentions and has been thing about me alot.. There would be days hed wait for me to text. I asked if it made him feel good and he said yes because i show interest. One night he was at the bar and started saying he was a bad man and everything. And i told him i was confused and he said I am drunk and confused. Told him i was goin to bed and he said goodnight old friend. Until next time. He was good friends with my daughter’s father who past away over two years ago. We hung out one time after he came out about his feelings but, he had asked several times before if I wanted to go places with him.. Idk if i should tell him I dont want to lose him as a friend or sit back and wait to see if he bounces back.. He also said he feels like I’m the one hes ment to be with and after ten years he asked me if he had a chance.

Yeah…when guys say they are busy, this usually means busy with someone else. No one is that busy as not to send a couple of texts, I agree with Very Confused.

Even if he comes back, and 90% of them do come back at least once, it is very often for the wrong reasons, ego boost because some other girl dumped them, quick and easy sex, easier to hook up with an old gf than get a new one, boredom, so if you give in easily, you are likely to get dumped yet again.

I am sorry it happened to you, don’t chase him, do not contact him in any way, and if he comes back, make him work for your time and your attention and do not give him sex.

this happened to me a few weeks ago. went on an amazing date and he did the slow fade. and you know what, i didn’t hound him, i just really took it as…he wasn’t interested. i am NEVER one to send those texts….hey, are you alive/what’s up/how’s work/how was your trip text (only to my close girlfriends) because i think silence/fading speaks volumes. this guy told me some personal things too, but i honestly think that they talk about personal issues, keep texting because it’s new and exciting at the moment. but the mere thought of having to delve into a semi relationship (this requires seeing the girl quite often) it becomes a daunting task. what i’m trying to say is, he has to really really like you, in order for him to contact you. and not just kinda a lot, he needs to like you A LOT. but hey, you know what – let them find that someone else…you know that you are better than that. no grown man does that, and so just know that you need to move on. if he fades on you, you fade on him. simple as that. don’t make yourself look needy and don’t present yourself as a psycho. i think that leaves him wondering even more. will he ever contact me again? i don’t know. it’s been a couple of weeks, but there’s no chance in hell that i’m contacting him because if you’re too busy then you shouldn’t be dating. which leaves me to believe that these men have pulled this before and probably girls have fallen for it. be the different one who realizes this sooner and don’t even give him the upperhand. if he doesn’t contact you, fine…then you go radio silent also. ladies, you’re better than acting like you need a man to survive.