how often do guys come back after disappearing

I have been seeing a man I care deeply for afor about 6 months. He is so handsome and too popular with the ladies. His personality attracted me as well. He has a great sense of humor. Recently he said he had no female friends for his recently separated cousin and asked if I knew of anyone to hook the cousin up with. My guy asked if I had any beautiful friends for the cousin. I have one who looked like amodel even in her 40’s. I do not see much of her lately because she is too competitive and causes drama. I tried to call her but her number was disconnected.

Soon after this man and I had very good sex, I see a comment on Facebook from last month where he calls his Spanish friend beautiful and his little poof poof. He hit up one Jamaican looking woman in a seductive couch pose recently too. This Facebook mutual friend suggesting has been giving me major anxiety. I stopped going on there for a few days and deactivated the account. I tried to text my guy after the 2nd incident, he is sick and does not want to hear it. He never wants to hear any drama. I will not toloerate the friends getting better Facebook compliments than me.

This man lied about one and tried to act stupid and say he compliments family. Saying you are so sexy and beautiful is not what I tell family. On Facebook I never get called any cutsie names like poof poof or beautiful by him. He says he compliments me all the time. He does not do it on Facebook. I have to be treated just as good as he treats his female friends.

I want to know why he claimed to have noone for the cousin and now he has this poof poof Latina friend for 6 months. This man who claimed to love me recently has not been calling. I am not calling or texting him for the past few days. It is hard to give my emotional side through sex to a man who only seems to be lusting after darker women. I told him he is going to go poof poof soon too lol.. This man is 52 but acts and looks 25.

If he loves me why is he not calling or texting? Why is he hitting up other women? I refuse to be his crazy ex who tried to stalk him to get him back. He had to move and change his phone number. I feel he wanted my friends information for himself. I do not want to be with a player, which he always denies he is. I watched him at our center dance and flirt with other women. It is easier to avoid it there and leave the room than seeing it online.

Facebook is causing me depression. On Facebook the flirting comments jump out in front of me unexpectedly. This man I have been seeing had a stroke years ago and says he can not handle female drama for his health, so I can not complain or say anything to him.

He wanted to keep our fling secret because I had a boyfriend when we met. I decided to put our private photo on Facebook. I let the other man go and am sick of the secrets. I feel this lover wants to remain secretive so he can keep playing games and flirting with other women. I told him so too before he stared using his cold as an excuse and ignoring me. I feel this man will be back for sex. I am going to have to work on being strong and trying to avoid him. How long do men typically return after good sex? do they come back quicker than without it?

You say you’ve been seeing him for 6 months but you don’t say if he is your boyfriend or if the two of you are in an exclusive committed relationship. Your post also focuses on having good sex but no other aspects of a relationship. If you are exclusive and committed and he is keeping your relationship secret and flirting with other women whether in person or on FB, I would have an issue. If you are not exclusive and your relationship is just sex then he hasn’t done anything wrong.

I found this post whilst searching “why guys come back” – my situation might help answer your question, if not my own!
Last year I got back into dating and over a few months dated 5 different guys. Each time it fizzled out and they all stopped contact.

A year on and 3 of the 5 have all been back in touch in the space of a week!
One I know stood me up after he met someone else, I was very happy for him but resented he didn’t have the balls to tell me and chose to ignore me instead. As soon as they broke up, he’s suddenly liking all my Instagram posts again and then text me. I ignored him!
One text me to say sorry for having ignored me and offered an explanation – something about it being a difficult year and me being the highlight of it. I thanked him for his apology and left it at that.
The other got in touch on the pretence of saying hi but I think was trying to plug a event he was drumming up business for.

i think its always better to keep a dignified silence when a guy goes awol. Most can’t stand it that you appear not to care much about their sudden rejection and as my story shows, they can and do often come back, likely by then you won’t give two hoots.

Move on and find a nicer guy to occupy yourself with and leave the dead beats and their bad manners to someone else.

Yes…is currently happening to me too..4 mths passed by…and I deleted him 4 mths ago…2 weeks after he did the slow fade..I deleted directly..he is a brainy and successful man but it does not matter for me…I just considered him as no one

Here’s a different question on the disappearing act though. Has anyone else had a guy they were talking to suddenly stopped answering texts but has continued to keep contact up through something like SnapChat or another app? Currently going through this and it’s literally driving me INSANE!

I have dated with a guy for 7 months. We are in LDR but we used to video chat everyday. He once promised me so much like he was really into me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We talked about marriage and children ect..
He disappeared out of blue in July for 10 days and then started to text me (rather than video chat) in August. And then now he disappears again. It is the fifth day since he disappears.
After two days’ grievance and beating myself up, I deleted his social media directly.
The last conversation is that I tried to recommend him some movies. If he will not ever reply me, he will never find out I delete him.
But it doesn’t matter now whether he finds out or not, or whether he comes back or not.
Because I will never spend any energy on this guy any more. I won’t be happy if I am going to be with this guy.
I will never tell him how I felt. Why would I waste my time to teach him the lesson. Just let someone else or life to give him the lesson.

All,

I agree with many off you. yes, they often come back. Sometimes just to say “what happened between us?” like they did not know…

Every time they have been back, wanting me back, I have been with someone new or moved on otherwise. It is always too late. It has happened with men I had been heartbroken over for months and really hurting. When I finally move on, in love again, knock knock…

Good luck
Anna

Hi All! Not sure how to start a new thread there but really need your girl’s opinion. I will try to keep this short. I have met a man about 10 months ago and we hit if off from day one. We have so much in common and like so many similar things. His sense of humor matches mine, which is so hard to find for me, but we did have some obstacles, like age difference (i’m older) and we both live in different cities and travel a lot, and simply in two different places in our lives. I tried not to run away with my emotions and just have fun with him, but I started to really enjoy our communication. For the last 9 months we have literally spoken every day, text and phone, social media, etc. We met quite a few times over that period and had an amazing connection in person as well. I understand he is younger and trying to build his life and I’m a woman who hates drama and am very independent and am more set in my life. I tried my hardest not to catch the “feels” haha, but I failed. The other day, we met up in person and I finally brought up a conversation about us and he told me: “I’m not looking for anything right now.” Hearing that was really disappointing. I didn’t ask him to move in, or marry me, or change his live all that much, all i wanted is to know if we’re on the same page. So to that he said: “So if nothing has to change, why are you brining this up? I’m just not looking for a relationship right now.” With that we awkwardly parted. On my flight back to my city he sent me a message to make sure I had a good flight. I thanked him when I got back. We exchanged a few more words and I was the last to send him something (didn’t require a reply). He didn’t send anything after that. And now it’s going on one week +. It is so difficult especially because we shared our whole day with each other, without missing 1 day. I’m not contacting him and feel like I’m losing him minute by minute. I’m naturally a very caring person and really want to know how he is doing. What is your suggestion and thoughts on this? Do I just continue with the NC for right now or is there a way for me to approach this somehow, since that has always been my personality? I’m not mad and I still am ok with friendship. Just don’t know what to do. Thank you!

If you want an actual relationship, this guy is a waste of time. If you just want a casual hooking up feel free to continue this, as that’s all it is.

It isn’t even clear if this is exclusive. Do you know what you want? Do you want something that can evolve into a committed, long term, relationship?

When a guy says he isn’t looking for a relationship, it means he does not want a relationship with you. No mystery, it really is that simple.

It sounds like there are way to many obstacles for this to have ever had a chance. If you meet someone and know right away you are in different places in life, have different priorities, are long distance, and are not on the same page, walk away right then.

Very few people can prevent feelings from growing if they really like someone (women especially).

I think you were hoping there was a chance this could be more than FWB/something very casual. If that is the case, you are going to get hurt. He doesn’t want that.

You usually will hear from them at some point. Not when you want to though. Always happens to me as soon as I’ve moved on/interested in a new person.

We can infer to some extent what someone is or isn’t thinking (or at least what their behavior indicates) based on what the OP tells us the other person said, and how they are acting.

So when a guy SAYS “I don’t want a relationship” and isn’t doing anything to progress or move things forward, that equals “no, to very low interest”. Too many women seem to sign up to be placeholders for a guy who has no intent of making them anything other than an option.

It isn’t rocket science. If you listen, observe, pay attention, and take your wishful thinking out of the equation, the truth is usually staring you right in the face.

No, none of us can actually know what someone else is thinking. But you can deduce it by the behaviors (or lack of) that are exhibited.

So often, women waste time hoping for a miracle when a man is clearly not interested, or only interested in sex, or something very casual (and dating others).

I have NEVER had any doubts about a guy who has been serious about me, at least not about his intent. Because it is obvious and his actions prove it.

Men are not another species. If you learn how to understand, communicate, and relate to them, they can be fairly easy to read and predict.

In 10 months you shouldn’t have to ask a man where your stand with him. He can either stand up and be the man you need or sit down so you can see the guy behind him who wants a relationship!!