Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › How should I understand his feelings?
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 5 years, 2 months ago by
kaye.
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Artemisa
I’ve been dating with the guy for two months now. He is my first boyfriend. I haven’t kissed him yet, but he has. After three weeks or so that we were dating together, he broke up with his ex. He has told me everything before we started dating. He was sincere since the beginning. He always compliments me and tells me the way how he feels about me. He wants a future together. He’s promised me that he’s gonna start college and give up smoking. He is soft to me and always finds a way to make me laugh even when I’m angry with him. We cannot stay angry to each other more than 10 minutes. We’ll always talk whatever disturbs us and find a solution to the problem. Tho, sometimes I feel like He acts so, but in fact he doesn’t love me that much. Probably because he’s not that romantic or because we don’t do crazy things together or because he doesn’t want to meet my friends cuz that’s how he is.
At least, that’s what he says.
I’ve tried to make him jealous a couple of times but I’ve never got him on his nerves or he’s never yelled at me. He’s always keep it to himself and at the end of the day tried to reach to me and say how he feels about that. But I’m kinda worried about this thing and idk if i should worry or no tho.
Like I feel he hasn’t sacrificed too much to get me or to keep me. While I’m the one who always can give an end to this pretty easy and he’s the one who would be crying and very sad for things to end.Lane
It’s not your job to understand his feelings, its your job to stop him when he uses too many flowery words and hasn’t backed them up.
You need to carefully watch to see if his words mesh up consistently by following the formula WORDS + ACTIONS = TRUTH. Just know, men are notorious for “thinking in the moment” and “breaking promises.” Do you know how many guys have used the ‘forever line?’ Far too many to count. 10-1 everything he told you was something he was thinking or feeling in that ‘very moment’ whereas in another moment, day, or next week he may be singing a different tune (saying the opposite), say its moving “too fast” and break up.
Men can be on good behavior for a few months, its the few months after that will reveal to you what he’s truly thinking or feeling, until then, just carefully watch, listen and observe where if he pulls back don’t be surprised, it very common when they feel its getting too serious, and bail out.
Better off single
What exactly is it you want him to do?
Watch is actions because words dont mean anything. What if he promised you the world while sitting on the couch eating potato chips looking at instagram skanks, would you believe his promise and wait around for him to deliver?
Trying to make a guy or anyone jealous is nothing but trouble and asking for him to get distant. Why would you want to intentionally disrespect your dude like that?
Im not trying to rip into you. I just do not understand what it is you want?
Like I feel he hasn’t sacrificed too much to get me or to keep me…should he draw a pentogram with his own blood and sacrifice a goat or whatever dude you tried to make him jealous over? What do you want him to sacrifice? What is that to you?
“I’m the one who always can give an end to this pretty easy and he’s the one who would be crying and very sad for things to end.”
Sounds to me you are the one who wants out and he is the one who wants to stay with you maybe he is scared and telling you things you want to hear because you’re being too intense talking about feelings instead of having fun and enjoying eachother.
Honeypie
He’s your first boyfriend. He was with someone else when you first got together. I’m concerned that he cheated on his ex by going out with you. That shows somewhat of his character I’m afraid, and it isn’t good. He’s kissed you but you haven’t kissed him? What does that even mean? He kissed your cheek?
You’re trying to get him jealous- why?
My guess is you are very young. You seem to have an idea of what a relationship should be like, and the ways he should show you he cares about you, such as being jealous, and I sense you’re insecure. Lots of people are in their relationship but in all honesty to it anxiety is unhealthy for you.
There’s something you seem very unhappy about with being with him
kaye
I’m thinking English may not be your first language. Some of your post is confusing. And I don’t understand your question. You ask how should I understand his feelings but say “He always compliments me and tells me the way how he feels about me.” If he tells you how he feels about you what don’t you understand? And how can you not have kissed him but he’s kissed you? Plus you say you were dating together for 3 weeks before he broke up with his ex. That means he was cheating on her with you! And the fact he doesn’t want to meet your friends after 2 months together and saying he wants a future is not normal.
You’ve only been together 2 months and it’s possible you could be a rebound on the heels of his last relationship. It takes time to develop a bond together and build a relationship with a future. You have to see if his actions are matching his words. It doesn’t sound as if they are to me.
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