Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › How soon do you change your relationship status on Facebook after a breakup?
- This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by
krissy.
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krissy
My boyfriend, or now ex, are expecting a child together. He broke up with me 3 days ago, and I made him move out. He had always told me that he’d never been so happy with anyone before so I was shocked, to say the least. He’s never had a long term relationship. His family and friends all told me I was his first committed relationship(he’s 30), and his family doesn’t seem to think it’s really over. Well, from what he was saying, it is! But he tends to say things he doesn’t mean, he has depression. Anyways he still hasn’t taken that we’re in a relationship off his facebook. Idk if this means he’s unsure about the breakup, or if it means nothing at all. He is the one that keeps up with the stuff. He’s the one who put it on there, and was the one always posting pictures of us. Could this mean there’s still hope, or am I thinking too much into it? I’m hoping that he’s just gotten cold feet since this will be his first child, and it’s his first super serious relationship. I mean just last month he was talking about us getting married.
tallady
Facebook has no bearing on your relationship,it has meaning at all. Yes, you are thinking too much. Please focus on taking care of you and that baby, and not your manchild ex.
krissy
Well I’m obviously going to take care of my baby, but part of doing what’s best for his is for me and his father to be together. My child won’t be here for three months, and the stress of being alone and very confused about our relationship is not good for our child. Sorry if it’s hard for you to understand the hurt of being dumped while pregnant and wanting to search for answers.
Stefanie
Krissy, I’m so sorry, you’re reading too much into it. I can imagine what you must be going through now. He left you when you’re six months pregnant? Ouch. That is why Tall says he’s a man child. That is pretty immature. Anyway, you know you have to minimize your stress levels now or it’s bad for the baby.
Why did he do this??
krissy
I have no idea why. I honestly thought we had a near perfect relationship. He constantly told me how much he loved me, and took care of me. If I ever needed anything he got it for me. He was an amazing boyfriend, then bam! He says he’s not in love with me anymore. I would assume it’s another girl, but he never goes anywhere..he was with me all the time so I know he’s not seeing anyone. His sister said he just doesn’t know how to commit, and that she’s never seen him so happy as he was with me. His friends have told me that also. I’m heartbroken and confused.
Jen
I disagree which it seems I do often. When my bf and I split. He didn’t change his status or even tell his best friend. I bumped into his best friend and he asked me how ‘ my bf’ was doing cause he has barely had a chance to talk to him that week. When I said we broke up ( he had broken up with me) his best friend was like huh?????. I called my bf and said ummmmm what’s going on? He said to me he couldn’t tell anyone or change his status cause he knew it wasn’t over. He was still in love with me he just got insecure and thought I was cheating on him( long story ) so he broke up with me to let me fly and come back to him if it was him I loved. That being said. I think in today’s crazy social media display not changing his status may mean he isn’t fully ready to severe the cord. Tomorrow he may be ready to and will change his status, but for today he isn’t ready.
If he was essentially a good man treat him and yourself with love and compassion. You will have to raise a child together ( congrats) or coparent. So if he isn’t a total douche be gentle on both of youkrissy
Thank you Jen! I hope we can work through this. I too am thinking like you because his sister is like his best friend, and I told her we broke up. She didn’t want to tell him I told her so she tried to get him to tell her and he didn’t. Now he knows that she knows of course, since I made him move out.
Phillygirl
I am going to speak from my own personal experience and using the limited info you provided here.
My son’s dad abandoned us when I was 5 months pregnant. I think you need to step back and try to take a more objective look at him.
1) You said he suffers from depression. That is usually not something that goes away, and from my experience is nothing to ignore.
2) He left you while you are pregnant with his child. Manchild is the right word for him. This is showing a serious character flaw, and I don’t think we as women should make excuses for this behavior. I remember how scared I was of being pregnant and on my own, don’t ignore that.. Is he even thinking right now about what he’s putting you through?
3) Not only did he leave, he didn’t say he was scared/confused/needed some space to figure this out. He said he doesn’t love you. If he didn’t really mean it, he sucks for saying this…ahem, while you are carrying HIS CHILD.
4) And this may be the most important thing I have to say on this… You don’t need him to raise your child..and being together is NOT a given (that it would be what is best for your or especially for the baby). I don’t know if it is or isnt. Based on what you’ve shared, I’d jump to a likely isn’t-but that is not my decision.My ex did come back and try to work things out. I told him to step up and prove he’s worthy not only of me, but mostly of my son. He couldn’t meet the minimum standards.I cut all contact after a year and a half of letting him try to figure it out, so he certainly had plenty of opportunity.
He had never supported my son financially or in any other way. My baby is 10, and we are much better off without a flake than this one.
Be strong for your baby and put his needs first. Only get back with this man (if he does come back) if he can prove he has integrity, staying power and an understanding that life is no longer primarily about the two of you ,but taking care and properly rasing that precious baby.
Hugs and wish you the best of luck! I’ve been there…
Shabz
I am very sorry that you are going through this, but the truth is, FB means nothing.
The mans actions are what matter and Phillygirl has made a good list of what this guy has done which shows a real lack of support and commitment to you and your growing family.
I appreciate that he has depression, however think about what stage you are at-6 months pregnant and in need of love, support and a healthy environment to flourish in.
He has trashed that and frankly it is down to him to win you back, please please do not overtax yourself to try and heal him and become a mum at the same time-you must focus on you and your baby. I know it is hard when you are hurt but you must direct those feelings into protective ones for the baby growing inside of you.
Is this how this man would be a father? This worries me greatly, and when you are in contact again, take it slow and show with YOUR actions that his are NOT acceptable. If you wish to forgive and move on should that come to pass then have him show some dedication and real sincere regret first.Big hugs to you for 2015. x
krissy
Thank you for your advice ladies. You all are right, what he is doing to me is horrible. I did not think he was this kind of person, and I suppose I don’t want to believe it. I just really want us to be a family, but even if he does come back (which is doubtful), I’m not sure I could ever trust him again.
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