How to get a second date?

Rita, let this guy go. I’ve had a cell phone for over 15 years, and have never once had it “break” to the extent that I could not place a phone call or send a text message. This guy isn’t interested, he was probably trying to let you down easy because your actions make you seem clingy and crazy. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh. I am NOT saying you ARE clingy or crazy, but that’s how a man reads a woman who is so eager after only one date. It’s not possible to like someone that much after such a short amount of time. I suspect you want a relationship and you like the fantasy that this guy could be the one for you, more than you actually like the individual person. Just good for thought.

One more thing, I noticed in a previous comment you said something about the guy leading you on. Don’t have this mentality. When women say a man led her on, what they generally mean is they wanted a relationship so they looked for clues the guy also wanted to same thing and interpreted every meaningless thing he said or did as “proof” he wanted to be in a relationship. When it turns out the man doesn’t want to be with her, the woman gets upset or mad, plays the victim and takes the mentality the guy was “leading her on.” Leading you on is intentional behavior that you will never experience with a normal man. Stop worrying about whether the dude likes you, live more in the moment, and you won’t find yourself with these feelings anymore.

I did once got my phone smashed and just after a first date with a guy and I did not have hi number anywhere, also I did not now whether he messaged me or not. I could only set up my new phone three days later to find his message from after the date. I replied then and I swear he did not believe me even though it was goddamn true.

Well, his phone’s not broken now apparently.

So, wait and see what he does.

So what are you gonna say now? I would just reply a simple yet kind text and see if he gets more active. He will naturally fade away if he has no real interest

I would place bets that she txt end him back and will continue to text hoping he asks her out again… I would hope not. But after one date she has to learn the hard way how NOT to allow a man to treat her, and to learn how to walk away.

I see a repeat thread in the near future.

I wouldnt get overjoyed over this..i d reply, great, and yours? And nothing else, remember, for low level of interest, you show..you guessed it, low level of interest! He doesnt deserve your enthousiasm as of now. Meanwhile, go live your Life, you should not be asking and worying about this one guy, you dont even know him. You need to make sure, you are ok. Go live your Life, and things Will sort themselves out, one way or another:)

I don’t want to be negative, as so many of us do end up on here because of our own negative experiences and it may make us cynical BUT…I’ve seen an awful lot of threats where the talk of a business trip is usually a preamble to a fade out. And not only does he have ONE business trip to explain being distant and not around and not in contact, but he’s also got a second one on the horizon.

My opinion is he’s stringing you along. It is only my opinion though. That whole “going on a business trip” with a guy that is already kind of iffy in contact is never good. That I’ve seen anyway.

I’m actually shocked that this story went on.
This guy disappeared for a few weeks. You fretted over him for days and that silly ID and somehow ended up on a date. Then you spent the night at his place.

Now you’ll be waiting to hear from him again after all these holidays and such.

You are sending a message that you’ll sit around and wait, have at it but I think you can do better than this.

If you need reassurance he likes you he does…the problem as I see it is it’s not enough…

You have to fake it until you make it sometimes…he has you there that night and another female another…play the same game…safely other men…be unavailable…You are coming off as needy…

What’s it going to hurt to date another guy? Test it out…accept another date and see how you still feel about this guy. Remember he’s not going to tell you he is dating another girl, you really should assume he is and do the same…I feel like you have put all your eggs in his basket…take them back!! =)

I am going on other dates. Why do I come off needy? I am staying silent towards him, not initiating contact or to meet up and neither is he reading this thread, so I don’t think that’s a valid remark. I agree though, that it got under my skin a bit.

Well 3 weeks in total but in two splits, so he goes for a week now, comes home for a week and then away for 2 weeks again. so potentially could catch up next week before he goes for 2 wks again.

Rita, you remind me a lot of me. I do the “but…but…but” too, and then everyone always ends up being right, I end up being wrong, and I’m sitting around feeling like crap wondering what I did wrong, am I giving off the wrong vibe, am I getting too emotionally invested too soon, etc etc. I’ve come to the conclusion that I may contribute to my issues SOMEWHAT but the main way that I do is that in the men I pick.

This man’s wishy-washy behavior already has you chasing your tail, second guessing everything, and making excuses for him. First his phone broke. Now he’s going away on vacation. All of these reasons why he can’t invest in the relationship and pursue you.

You remind me of me, seeing the signs on the wall and KNOWING how this will end but still hoping it won’t.