How to respond to an ex who only came back for sex

Your ex is definitely just hoping for sex. It’s pretty typical tbh, the same thing happened twice with my ex. Don’t go off on him if it can be avoided. I did this with my ex and now we no longer talk. I would’ve liked things to end on a more peaceful note, instead of all the animosity. Just make it clear you’re not interested in coming over and that he needs to stop asking. He’s not looking for anything serious and probably won’t be for a long time, if ever. If he keeps trying to ask just stop responding. If it’s to tempting to respond, block him. I’m sure you have other forms of social media that he can contact you by if he truly wants to talk, but even then it will most likely be about sex. And don’t be too upset at him and definitely at yourself. He just hasn’t gotten to a point where he wants something real, and you just needed time to see what he was really about. Just let go, and move on. It will be the best move for both of you.

Really? After the way he’s treated you? You say NOTHING and you block and leave him in the past, for good.

CUT.HIM.OFF.ALREADY.

I’d respond to him. There is absolutely zero shame in your desire to hold out for someone who wants the same thing you do. It doesn’t make you look or feel weak to state your needs.

Just tell him you will not “go there” as it would distract you from finding what you really want and killing time with someone who is not on the same page is a waste of time.

I know you’ve already told him this when you broke up, but telling him again does nothing to harm you. If anything it may empower you and keep you focused holding out for the best.

You either respond kindly with a no, or you DON’T at all!

Lekisha, are you out of your mind? Respond “kindly” with a no???? Why do women feel they have to be polite to bad behavior?????? This guy was just seeing if she had weakened. She gave him a chance by going out to dinner with him and he showed his true colors. He wants sex only. She has already broken up with him because she wants more than that. They are not compatible. She did the right thing by dumping him. If she has any further interaction with him, it’s just encouraging him that he can wear her down.

Maria, how the F can communication with someone who lied to you while you were dating and only wants sex from you now work to your advantage?! There’s nothing to be gained by staying in touch with this guy. Women don’t seem to get that ANY communication makes a guy think he’s got a chance if he just keeps at it. Getting revenge or toying with someone just feeds the situation more energy. And these days with online dating sex is very easy for a man to get. Guy mistreats you like this, you walk and you don’t look back. Ever. Strongest message possible is total silence.

We are grown ups and we certainly LOATHE it when men leave us hanging. Respond with elegance. “We are just in different places. You can find just anyone for hook ups and I’m only used to a meaningful monogamous relationships. I’m not judging of course! I think you are just charming yet the heart wants what it wants. All the best” This way, you have the upper hand and you’re the lady who got away. When you get a little older (Like moi) the good ones circle back around when they want to settle down. Then you have beautiful children, get a nice house, and divorce him. We will see you back here in 7 years.

Michele

Why don’t you agree to date him without sleeping together and let him know those are the rules. See how long he sticks around.

If you had both agreed to be exclusive and he broke that agreement with his dating app activity, and he’s constantly asking to get the two of you alone in a room, yeah that seems like he’s looking for a hookup. Depending on how you feel about that, you could say…

“What I want is a serious, committed relationship, I do not sleep with men who are not my exclusive boyfriend”.

If he says losing you was the worse decision he’s ever made and you really want to give him another shot, make sure he walks the walk for a few months, before you get into bed with him. If he’s serious about this, he’ll wait, if what he really wanted was just sex, then he won’t wait and/or won’t be willing to agree to that arrangement.

Or…

“Screw yourself”

Or… just say nothing.

When you learn to respect yourself enough that you don’t entertain men who do not treat you properly, you will find the need to respond in such situations disappears.

A person only deserves a second chance when they acknowledge past mistakes, and have grown enough they want (and demonstrate) a serious chance to fix things.

We never owe someone who treats us with little regard a response. Especially in a situation when they acted poorly previously

I saw someone for a year.

In the last month it turned out he was sleeping with his ex again. I left the door wide open for them.

He booty calls me. I pass them off. Normally, end of.

The latest time he contacted me he told me he he was on his own again. It started as a late night invitation for coffee! He became very persistent. He sent a message telling me I was rude for not answering his calls. He told me to seize the moment because I wasn’t getting any younger. He reminded me of a time I got drunk in his company and told me I OWED him!!!

I told him I was very tired after a late night but would love a coffee and catch up another time. Then he became very explicit, telling me I’d regret missing out and how much I’d surely love to feel him up against me.

I said I was not a one night stand, that I would love to see him properly if he wanted, but otherwise to leave it be, I was going to sleep.

Needless to say he has been radio silent since.

I should never have answered in the first place. I was devastated when we ended, we got on so well. He was clever, funny, kind, affectionate… but that person never existed.

Reading this thread was a comfort. Thanks for everyone’s shared experiences and advice.

Hope you’ve met someone wonderful now.

The one you adore AND who wants you (all of you, not just part of you, or an ideal of you) is the one who deserves you. You deserve NOTHING less. In the meantime, treat yourself that way. Love All of you.

Peace.