Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › How to tell him why I am rejecting him
- This topic has 37 replies and was last updated 9 months, 3 weeks ago by
Tess.
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Raven
Hi @Tess, Thanks for the update 🙏🏼
Tess
He cited a few incompatibilities like me not wanting to stay with his parents, him not having money, our anger, etc. And he apologized for knowing everything and still trying to get married to me because he really loves me. But it’s not right that he act selfish and let me find someone more suitable for myself. He says he still feels consistently sad everyday but he doesn’t want to ruin my life. :( I have been feeling very overwhelmed and don’t seem very strong to be able to deal with losing another person. But I am holding on.
Tammy
Hes trying to make you feel guilty! And i guess money minded. Its quite ok to not want to live with his parents especially when they hv such toxic relatnship. Besides you want to be with smone who is financially independent and not someone who mos his gf pay for dates. I wld still suggest that you lessen the frequency of your interactions. No long personal dialogues, no miss u etc.. this way you may not be able to break away.
Raven
He’s being manipulative. Really, you should block him!
Tess
Yes, I am slowly detaching myself. And will completely stop talking soon. He was telling me the other day how he doesn’t want to meet his friends because they are going to ask him about us.
Maddie
That’s rather immature of him. I had an ex, and I came to be friends with his friends. He decided not to mention it to any of them when he dumped me. I ended up having to tell all of them we broke up one by one as they asked me where he was when they saw me. It was really crappy that I ended up in that position, but it was just another example of immaturity and communication problems that I’d overlooked. And my ex was 30, not a teenager.
Tess
Right. And now I can recall he was adamant to meet in a hotel and cuddle even when I mentioned that I would like to go out and do things rather than spending all day in bed…..he wasn’t respectful of my wishes. But since I refused to stay in a hotel with him he agreed to go out and do stuff and come back to a hotel at night. And make me pay atleast half for that hotel unnecessarily when I didn’t even want to stay in a hotel in the first place…I know I sound cheap mentioning money again and again but it just makes me feel so bad that someone wants to mooch me off the little money that I have to make me do things than I don’t even want to do. It makes me angry honestly. But I am so lonely. I feel like having a roommate constantly, someone to talk to constantly..all the time.
Tammy
Yucks. What a cheapo!he mks u pay for evn that?Are you serious? I wld hv run as fast as i could and never ever luked back!!! Lady if your hanging around even after that than noone here can help you! You know what u hv to do but ur still entertaining him! BLOCK HIM!!!
AngieBaby
This guy isn’t worth the salt in your tears. Block this guy already, it’s doing you DAMAGE to stay connected. You need to be able to grieve and move on and you can’t do that if you’re still talking to him.
If you’re that lonely, go volunteer at an animal shelter or veterans home or senior facility.
Tess
I finally blocked him a few days back. He tried to reach out after that. And then he started sending me emails. I replied to him yesterday that I don’t want to talk and to not email me. He said okay. And he hasn’t contacted me since then. I think he’s trying to move on too. I feel bad. However I am dealing with it. I kept super busy. And I am gonna continue doing that. I have a lot of things planned. But I really miss him. I had to literally stop myself from unblocking him and texting him. It’s hard.
Raven
Hi Tess, Angie had a great idea. Get a kitten…
AngieBaby
Correction. You don’t miss him. You are well aware he’s not even remotely right for you. You miss companionship and connection. There’s a big difference.
If you don’t feel you can commit to adopting an animal, you can volunteer working with them. Lots of shelters and rescues need help of some kind. Or you could foster. If you can adopt, a pair of kittens would be ideal. Also, senior homes are always looking for people to work with their residents and provide companionship.
Tess
Hi all, posting an update. We broke up. We both accepted the breakup.
I have engaged myself in volunteer activities. But I have reached that kind of emotional state wherein I am getting attached to everything and everybody. I mean not just romantically. It is even happening with female friends. I just don’t want anyone to leave again. I am coping well. But it just gets very overwhelming at times. I sort of feel maybe I should take a break from making any kind of new connections. But that would make my life very lonely. Maybe this kind of advice asking could be out of the forum boundaries. But I Just felt like updating my post and sharing how I am feeling currently.
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