How was your day etc and how are you texts

What are you expecting or wanting them to say? In the very early stages their really isn’t a good way to open up communication until a formal bond has been established. I would only be concerned by it if they weren’t setting up a plan to meet again shortly after the “how are you” spiel. I’ll give them a little wiggle room if the date was recent but in a few days they better have something concrete planned or I jump off the text train to destination nowhere.

Clingy is not healthy. Its a mindset of someone who is very insecure about themselves, lack self love and driven by anxiety to the point they latch onto others, like a parasite, to get their void fix.

Its a toxic love addiction where they crave attention not because they love you too much but because they don’t love themselves enough so you end up becoming their drug, like heroin, where they need a constant fix by you because they incapable of achieving it on their own. You will consume all their time and thoughts as they are driven by anxiety (fear) that you will abandoned them, like all the others they latched onto in the same way drove them away.

Its a heavy burden for a man or woman, long-term, where you can’t speak, talk to or do anything without Ms. or Mr. Clingy wanting to know all the tiny little details (who, what, where, when) about your day ad nauseam. In the beginning it feels good to be treated and needed by a clingy person but eventually it will tire and wear you down until you feel trapped (balled & chained) to the clingy individual and feel the need to escape from their tentacles.

Intentionally miss a couple calls/chats from her and when you do respond tell her you were hanging out with friends or doing something with a group that included females when she digs for details. Bet it will go downhill really fast where she will become *clingier* (blow up your phone) the moment you start pulling back, essentially not feeding her the attention she constantly seeks, craves and needs from others because she is unable to achieve it on her own. Good luck.

Thank you all, at the moment I need to self-isolate for another 10 days or so, and both the guys I am chatting with know that. So given I cannot meet now, checking in on text through “how are yous” is probably okay (alhtough, @Newbie – agreed, a bit boring!). They both have also offered a phone / video chat which was nice and broke up the texting routine. I will see however if the texting will lead into asking out when I can get back to being out again. My gut feel says that past a week or max couple of weeks of just text small talk without making plans to meet would signify low interest & I should fade out.

Got it Lane, I will look out for “hero” signs and also generally the pace he sets and progress made outside the texting. I gather from all the advice that texting (frequency / content) is not generally a predictor of relationship success – it’s what happens in between the texting that counts.

My current boyfriend is and was a horrible texter even in the beginning. Now that I know him well and I look back on those texts, I can tell it was excruciating for him to try and come up with any sort of text message at all! Outside of the texting he seemed to have the qualities I was looking for, so I cut him some slack about the texting.

But he’s a great guy, treats me well when we are together and communicates really well when we need to talk about something. Those are more important to me than the texts, but it took time to learn those aspects about him.

I’ve dated heavy texters as well and anecdotally speaking, they love to talk but they often don’t have a lot of follow through. Since you have to quarantine yourself for a little longer, maybe don’t worry so much about the texting and reserve your opinions for when you meet and spend time with the guy. Good luck!