Husband following and liking Instagram girls

this isn’t normal or acceptable. very soon you will see him dm’ing girls asking fir pictures or complimenting them. I don’t that is the behaviour of any decent individual, forget the gender. You should have a conversation with him about it.

Got no idea why his friend suggested it to him. The friend that suggested it to him is also married with 2 children so it’s a puzzler.

People have different opinions about this stuff so you need to decide for yourself. I think you need to look at your relationship as a whole and if it’s good overall, maybe try not to worry so much. You can tell him what you told us — that it does bother you and you’re not sure if it’s pregnancy hormones or not then make a decision together.

You are surprised that men like to look at things where beautiful women are freely available? And that a married man with 2 kids is doing it? This is surprising to you?

Either you trust or you don’t… cheating can happen literally anywhere.

I suggest you get off Instagram, focus on yourself. And if you want to…. Just say, it’s a pathetic look for men to follow a bunch of Instagram models. He has no chance with them anyhow.

I think it’s lame AF. Although It’s true you have to figure out what YOURE comfortable with- in your relationship. And NO you’re not just hormonal or insecure. You have a right to explore your feelings around this. And I don’t agree that even if he was the perfect partner in other ways that it would be okay. Here’s why

Everyone knows that just because you’re in a committed relationship doesn’t mean you’ll never be attracted to someone else – but you conduct yourself accordingly DESPITE what you’re feeling. Instagram is a public forum. Showing overt interest in a woman’s scantily clad pics is not okay if you have an SO unless the partners talk and agree they both are okay with it. It is unlike pent house or playboy or even watching and masturbating to porn because that shiste is PRIVATE and not overtly disrespectful in front of the partner or others. Doing it so publicly (for me) is akin to him seeing a girl on the street in a bikini and catcalling her right in front of you. At the least it shows lack of maturity and sensitivity.

He may think it’s harmless. Because sooooo many dudes feel as long as they aren’t sexing anyone else, most everything else is on the table. I would totally bring it up with him. But it’s HOW you approach it that’s important. Wait till he’s not sleepy, not hungry or stressed and let him know you’re having some thoughts and feelings about something you’d like his input. Tell him he can name the time and place (within a reasonable time). When y’all talk, do so unemotionally as possible and with a kind and thoughtful tone (not wounded or attacking). Very simply state you’ve noticed he follows a lot of women on Insta and have even liked a bunch of the pictures. This is making you feel disrespected but would like to have his thoughts on that. Exploring something with a man by expressing feelings in a curious tone, instead of “you hurt me now fix this” tone is immensely helpful. ESPECIALLY considering you’re pregnant with a burgeoning different body I sure as heck hope he does right by you and discusses it in a kind and supportive way.

My two cents. Good luck!

Married MEN do not engage in this type of behavior. He’s up to no good- sorry…

Ewa, I reckon maybe his friend has issues in his own marriage or something perhaps. For sure if I bring it up he’ll think I don’t trust him. I do trust him, but there is obviously some temptation there and he might wish that I look like those girls.

Bets, you are right. It does bother me and upset me a little and like you said if it’s something that is bothering me I need to clear the air because it’s not really good for me to be stressed right now.

It’s not so much the looking that bothers me because it’s natural to look at the opposite sex regardless of if you’re in a relationship or not. I was watching a video of Fallon Favors on YouTube. Not sure if people have heard of her? And she did discuss this topic and she summed up my feelings quite nicely. I’m not saying he can’t look, but he doesn’t need to be physically clicking like on these girls pictures. He seems to be doing it quite excessively, which is an issue. Clicking like is a tangible action that everyone can see and there’s some more thought and intent behind it than just a quick look.

No man is going to really reveal to his wife or girlfriend what the intention is when they like these posts are they? Cause the intention is that this is a woman that they wouldn’t mind sleeping with if given the chance and he wants to let her know that in some way. I guess the best is to find out what is the intention behind liking all these photos. Is it just a fantasy thing or is it something deeper?

I guess men think differently about it. They might see it as an innocent liking of a photo, but Instagram is a form of social media and even though the chance of these girls contacting him is very slim especially when they have thousands or millions of followers. The chance is still there and clearly the temptation is there on his part. It can open a Pandora’s box to a situation that he doesn’t intend. What happens if one of these girls does decide to contact him? He’s the one that invited that interaction in the first place.

He is committed in every other way to me and our baby. I am in no way a controlling police wife. I’m actually pretty easy going. I’m not one to start drama over nothing and he knows that so the fact that I’m getting upset over this should indicate to him that his behaviour is treading a very fine line between what’s appropriate and not.

You are right Lane. I need to nip this in the bud before it potentially escalates. He might not even intend it to. All I can do at this point is lay all the cards on the table and let him know how I feel about it. It’s up to him to make the right decision after that.

Hi Kim,

Sorry but I need to share my past experiences with this.. confront your husband now tell him how you feel about it because if you don’t you will come across comments that you really don’t want to see like myself..
My ex partner did the exactly the same thing as to what your husband is doing and I noticed after going through these girls pages (who was just normal day to day girls no naked girls) and these comments broke me!! he would comment that she was hot, beautiful, attractive I even found 1 message on Facebook to one girl (how is local to us) that he liked her and they had been speaking for a while and he was deleting these messages.
Please for your own peice of mind speak to him, tell him how you feel about it and I hope that he’s a decent man and he’d come out it altogether.

Good but I wouldn’t believe him. You can delete the app but you can still access instagram from the website …

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this, especially when you’re pregnant. I’ll be honest though, the whole thing seems crazy and controlling to me. Monitoring his “likes” on Instagram and then confronting him (and he lied about his use when you did, which shows he’s inclined to be dishonest when confronted). If my boyfriend confronted me about what I was liking on Insta, I’d find it really, really controlling.

I totally get why you’re uncomfortable with him looking at and liking these women. I do understand. But if a guy is gonna cheat, he’ll find a way to cheat. He can make another IG account with a different handle. Or he can find other ways to look at and potentially interact with hot women. All this incident will do is teach him to be more discreet and careful when doing it, because he knows you’re monitoring him. So I don’t think the Insta account is the problem. I’m sorry, but I don’t think the issue just ends here. I don’t think he’ll just stop on a dime like that.