I am alone and miserable because of long distance

Can you see each other more often?

Why are you long distance?
What are your ages?

He is 28. I am 27.

Sad girl…why would you ask Raven if seeing each otheronce a month is not enough? You said yourself you are sad and lonely and miss him,so of course for you,it is not enough.
I don’t see any solution unless one of you moves or you visit every wek/second week on weekends. If this is so difficult,one of yoy could quit your job or get a transfer and move.

Hello Sad Girl,

Oh there is a lot of heartache in your story. I used to be in a long distance relationship. I had my dream career job in one city and he was in his dream college program – 5hours away by airplane. We would see each other every 2 months and talk every day.

You need to remember why you are apart and just focus on that. I knew the end date and it forced me to make closer girlfriends and go out to things that I would have never seen. Joining my friends’ larger group of friends. I just said yes to every invitation so I wouldn’t stay home alone. Moping around just will stir your emotions and you have to dedicate quality time when you do see each other.

It’s a tough scenario, but you seem very dedicated.
We wrote poems and letters and I know that would not have happened if we were in the same city.
Hope that helps you.

*emotional

Raven- we speak on call and video calls every few days. He doesn’t like to talk much.

Rox- I am also trying to make friends here but there’s not much option here. Everyday I wake up and immediately miss him and that sets the tone for the rest of the day.

Mary- that’s the thing, I am too dependent on him emotionally.

Tammy- thanks for your reply. I like your suggestion about joining more activities, I don’t get much time after work and options are also very limited in this part of the country but I’ll try my best.

Hey girl, I was exactly in your shoes 2 weeks ago.

Long short story, we has been together since May 2022, it was great from the begining when both of us taking efforts to make time for the other

But on the last trip, I started to be needy with this attention (because 1-2 months before the trip together, he has been stress and busy). On the trip, I even demand some affection and didn’t get it. I started to resent him and use silence treatment on him. I can see he was trying to give affection to me but I was still craving for it. Now understanding it was because I was longing for his attention for a while and when we met he couldn’t delivery everything all at once and that even push him further away. After the trip, we get back to our normal life and I couldn’t even stop obsessing over why he’s pulling away, what is he doing, why he hasn’t messaged me yet. That drove me crazy.

I had one month of it. Then I called it off because I don’t like that version of me worrying all the time and the reality is because of that he gradually drifting away from me also (that makes me losing interest to him also)

We’re both 50/50 secured and he is 50% avoidant and I’m 50% anxious (attachment style)

Now it has been nearly a week after I broke up with him. I feel more connected to myself, it feels better but I do feel regret that I did that because I understand he was going through loads of stress (absence from work to come see me) and I left him alone.

But at that moment I couldn’t do anything better. I need off time away from him to clear my head and I bet he needs it too.

I’m telling you this to prevent you from doing some all or nothing actions, try to sit down and talk your emotions out with him first, if he values you, even if he can handle it or not, at least it makes him to understand you more. You guys both work on attachment styles and give each other space and use that to work on yourself. Make sure both of you commit to assure to the other as much as you can that you deeply care about the other so none of you feel neglected during the time you taking space.

I hope it helps