I am really sad…

I am not going to contact him unless he contacts me. I am going to post to my Instagram the way I have been. I am going to make the impression that I am living my life and I am happy and enjoying myself. I promise you I am not waiting for him to contact me. I have ready many of Eric’s articles…is there one in particular that you’d recommend?

Oh god, my intentions was not to be an ultimatum, but if it comes across that way then that sucks. I just know that personally if I stuck around I’d get more and more attached. I can’t kick the feeling like I shouldn’t have sent that letter to him. I needed to do what’s best for me, but now I am doubting what I did. I’ve lost him and it’s so painful. I haven’t hurt so badly after such a short relationship ever, which makes me feel like I did the wrong thing. I don’t know what to do! It hurts so bad.

I really admire you S for emailing him and at least knowing where you stand. I’m in a similar situation with my guy at the moment but I think I have left it too long to contact him so if I did now then I don’t know if he would reply. At least your guy was honest which so many aren’t these days and he seemed like he genuinely cared/ still cares for you and he wants you to be in a happy relationship that you deserve, but it seems like he isn’t ready for one yet which is like my guy. It’s almost been a month now since I last spoke to my guy and even though it hurts and I still miss him, believe me it does get easier. That’s the reason why I’m holding back on contacting him because I have finally started to love who I am again and I’m starting to socialise more and be happy. I know I’m not an expert on relationships but I wanted to say that the best thing which has helped me since not hearing from my guy was staying busy and spending time with people who care about you, I.e. Family and friends. That has really helped me and I hope it will help you too! I really hope you find someone who will love and treat you the way you deserve. All the best :)

S – don’t be sad… Nothing you have said would have made any difference anyway…. When he is not ready, he is not ready…. Period…

The earlier you find out, the better for you….

And moving on is not nearly as hard as you think, as long as you don’t self-impose obstacles on that…

I went NC with my guys for close to 2 weeks, happier than before when I spent hours and hours analyzing everything that he said or did not say….

S, I know it hurts we ve all been their.. And I believe you are very nice girl which every guy would love to be with. Just take it as a lesson, an opportunity to grow , to learn more about yourself and men.

I don’t know which article exactly will help you now, but I am sure his point is to be more easygoing, have no talk, no agenda , be present and at the moment. Not take it too serious, just go with the flow and enjoy. Anyway this guy wasn’t meant to be for you and you will never mess up with the right guy bec HE will do this talk and he will ask for exclusivity not another way around

S – if you really care about him coming back one day, move on now and focus on your own life, and later use his coming back as an ego booster for yourself…..

At the least that is my experience… In my two years of being a single woman, I had 2 guys telling me they were not ready for anything serious…Both of them came back, actually, I should say keep coming back… Checking in every now and then to see if I have a change of mind…Too bad I lost my feeling for them, so I use them as an ego booster…. No kidding…

They did not come back thinking I would be exactly where I was 2 years ago, doing nothing but wait for them to come back…. They came back because they know I am moving my life at 100 MPH, with or without them….

I think guys that got intimate with you at one point will keep coming back, but you need to show them you have moved on…..

I am on NC for close to 2 weeks with this guy now… It is getting so much easier than last week… Trust me, in another 3 weeks, he wont even cross your mind anymore….

Question about NC, it means he doesn’t reach out to you and you don’t reach out to him? What if he reaches out, do you ignore it?

Hay al – just want you to know how much I love and miss you. Most important you need to be happy. Not sure if u still have the same ph number. I tried on your birthday. Please call or text me. Please b happy. It appears u r doing well. I love you always. Dad

You did the right thing bringing how you felt and what you wanted, but since he’s apparently not on the same page at this time, the best thing for you is just to pull back. Stay away and let it go.

Don’t let him try to hold onto you as a ‘friend,’ this will only bring you more confusion; you will end up investing more time/energy into a man who does want what you want.

I know it’s no fun, believe me, but ultimately, that’s the best thing for you.

I know I can do it. And I should stop caring about why. It is what it is and there is nothing I can do about it.

Do you plan on ever contacting your guy or is this a forever NC for you?

I am not in a similar situation but I am also struggling whether I should express what I want to my bf who I have been seeing for 4 months. He talked about our future every now and then and I think he would want us to get married. But the thing is he is gonna start his own business, I got a feeling that he won’t wanna marry till he thinks he is financially capable of providing for a family. So the prospect of marriage won’t be in short term. However, I wanna get married soon. Should I ask him to find out what his plans are or it would end up like an ultimatum??

S – I plan to be on NC for forever with with guy….

He is not at a place where he can hold a long term interest in any woman…if I text him now, he will sound thrilled to hear from me, and take me out and sleep with me, and then nothing else until I contact him next time…. So what is the point???

I used to sleep with a married man before and cut off with him last year… He continues to ask me out for lunch (no physical) once a month just to chat… I told him about my guy last week, even this married man told me NOT to expect any newly divorced man to want a relationship any time soon… Lol

Annie – your last post has such wisdom that I had to read it 3 times…

I do have to disagree respectfully on one thing… I am not sure there is such thing as “honest decent guy”… I think what you called “honest decent guy” is in essence the 2nd type of players, even though they have no intent to play … They just want a casual relationship… They don’t consider themselves players at all..

That is what S and I have got here.. My guy actually told me that he just wanted a casual relationship