Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I am so lost
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B.
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the lost
okay phew… I need help! Soo I have fairly recently gotten into the dating game. I am 20 years old and was in a four year relationship that ended about 6 months ago. I have been on tinder, bumble, hinge, etc etc. I’ve gone on some dates with different guys and it has been fine. I did meet this one guy and we went on a couple dates then his ex gf came into the situation and I pushed him to say whether he was gonna do that or try something with me. After a few weeks of not talking, he messaged me again. He apologized for everything that happened and asked if we could please try again. I agreed to try again and see what happens. By now we have gone on a few real dates and I’ve slept over at his place a few times. We have probably hung out like 6 or 7 times by now. I know that I sound somewhat crazy or whatever but I dont know what to do!!! I I am worried about the ex thing, but I asked him about it and he said that I dont need to worry about it, that what happened before wont happen again. We’ve had sex almost every time we have hung out since we started talking again. I know that sex is important and definitely part of a relationship if we get into one, but does it not give a good outlook for the future? I am just really scared to get into something with so much uncertainty after being hurt so badly before. What do you guys think on the outlook of maybe a relationship or just a fling?
Amy
you will be fine..breathe :)
kaye
Ok. I am going to tell you something I wished someone had told me when I was younger. You don’t ALWAYS have to be in a relationship! It’s better if you take some time to yourself, get to know yourself and figure out what your dreams and goals are and exactly what you want in a guy. You are only 20, and you have been with the same guy since you were 16. You grew up together. Now you have jumped onto just about every dating site you can think of, met the first guy you had a connection with and tried to do BAM instant relationship! I get it. I did the same thing after I got out of my 20+ year marriage.
You miss having a best friend to talk to, someone who knows you and gets you and you miss the intimacy. And it’s going to make you miss a lot of red flags like dating a guy who takes you on a couple of dates then has an ex come back in the picture! You should be worried about the ex thing and you shouldn’t be pushing a guy who you only went on 2 dates with to decide about you!! Dating is a process. To me it sounds like you have made sex a part of this relationship way too soon and now it’s every time you hang out. You really should be keeping your options open and still talking to and going out with other guys, which I know is difficult right now with social distancing and quarantine. You just can’t ignore red flags and jump straight in and wish and hope you don’t get hurt. That’s exactly how you get hurt!
B
Give yourself sometime to determine if you really like him or if you just miss having someone to talk to as you just ended a long term relationship only 6months ago. You’re only 20, enjoy other things and focus on being a better version of yourself. Sending positive vibes
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