Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › I broke the no contact rule
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 3 years, 3 months ago by
Khadija.
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Lindsay
Me and my ex recently broke up and it was pretty messy. I honestly don’t know who broke up with who. Maybe it was me because I told him I did not want to speak to him again. I immediately regretted it and the next day I asked him if we could meet up. He didn’t respond. We’ve been broken up for a little less than a month and I called three times, he never answered. I sent a text apologizing for the rude comments I made, he did not respond. I ran into him and tried to talk to him he was pretty cold in the conversation.
I didn’t really know about the no contact rule until after these attempts. Do you think I ruined my chances? If I start no contact now to give him the space he’s clearly telling me he needs, do you think there can be another opportunity he’ll come around?
We were on a relationship for a year and he claimed it was the best relationship he’d been in
Raven
Why did you two break up?
Lindsay
He was losing interest
Raven
Honestly, I don’t think it will help. Sounds like he’s done.
No contact is not a ploy to get someone back. It’s to help you reset & move on…
Maddie
Raven is right. No contact is for you, to process what happened and move on.
The no contact rule as a gaming tactic to get someone back generally only “works” on people who have commitment issues and who only want what they can’t have. Which means if they do come back around with space and out of curiosity, nothing will have changed! Even if you reconcile the relationship it will be short-lived and the next breakup will be inevitable and hurt even more. Real reconciliations are rare and only come with lots of personal work, effort, and significant communication on both sides.
You don’t want someone who loses interest in you after a year, or especially who has a history of losing interest in the people they date. I used to date people like that, sometimes even reconcile with them when I didn’t know better, and they are always a waste of time. In this case, he probably was done and took the fight as the out he was looking for, so it didn’t matter what you did.
I’m sorry it’s not the outcome you wanted, but it really does sound like you’ll be better off without him, even if it doesn’t feel like that right away.
Lindsay
What do you think I should with his stuff. I told him I was going to throw it out but I didn’t and I don’t think that’s what I want to do because that seems mean. I do want to let him know it’s still here so that he can decide whether or not he wants to get it
Zoe
He is done with you and everything you do will make it worse. Find another man
Raven
Take his stuff, put it in a box. Deliver it to his house & leave it…
Text him after you’re gone, letting him know his stuff is on the stoop.
AngieBaby
You already posted about this as “Lia” – sorry, but this guy is gone. No contact isn’t going to help. He moved out and then wanted to see other people. That’s pretty much a lost cause.
Linda
Saying you never want to speak to him again I’m afraid is what ended this for him.
Move on and forget about the no contact rule. He’s done.
Find someone else. Don’t say those words to a man unless you really mean it. Once said, it cannot be undone. Let this be a lesson.
Khadija
Ugh I’ve been in your shoes. I wasted so much time hoping the guy would change his mind. He never did and it took me even longer to get over him. Box up his stuff and deliver it to his place. After that consider it closure. Do you really want someone who you hope changes their mind about you? There is someone who will be madly in love with you, the sooner you move on from this guy the sooner you can make room for a new man in your heart.
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