Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I didn’t expect him to ghost me
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
Lane.
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Lily
Throughout the quarantine, I talked to a guy I met on Hinge. He seemed so interested, asking loads of questions, long messages. He told me he wanted to meet me but would have to wait until things reopen.
He would continue messaging me but only an email style message every few weeks. Over time he stopped asking as many questions
Finally, we met and it was lovely. I felt instantly comfortable around him, good conversation and lots of laughs. I wouldn’t say there was a whole lot of chemistry, he didn’t really flirt with me or touch me but he was a gentleman. He didn’t really ask a lot of questions about me but we talked a lot.
We went on a second date and he said he’ll arrange the next one. But I never heard from him again. I texted him a nice message and he ignored that. I’m confused, I’ve always been kind and friendly to him, why do I deserve to be ghosted? He told me he’s a gentleman and he’s honest. Surely ghosting me is the opposite of those things??
Is there something I did wrong? Maybe I’m not pretty enough.
Brianna
Sadly this is the way guys let us know they’re not interested (anymore). I think ghosting is a cowardly move and quite disrespectful, I rather have you tell me it’s not working out than to be ghosted. There’s nothing wrong with you, don’t beat yourself up for it. Always believe a man’s actions over his words..
Tam
Yeah, do not beat yourself up. A gentleman would have said: nice meeting you, I do not feel this is what I am looking for. He did not, i.e. he is not a gentleman and definitely not worth your time.
I know it is easier said than done but think of it this way: dodged a bullet, good riddance. he is not a high quality man.T from NY
What they both just said. 100 percent. If they don’t even take the time to tell you goodbye they are not high quality.
Bye FeliciaT from NY
PS not that men OWE you goodbyes in dating. A woman’s job is to enjoy her wonderful life and sit back and do NOTHING except warmly receive a man’s attentions if she likes him. If he wants to be in your life – he will be!! (A sign he wasn’t that interested or a high quality man was when you said it took him a while to meet up with you in the first place.) Anyway…
The reason I said he should have said goodbye was because he told you he was going to plan another date. Men who have developed good character don’t just go MIA. So be glad he is gone.
Sensy
It sounds like you cane from an energy which is masculine from the get go. Let the guy pursue you.
Lane
You are looking at dating with the wrong mindset. Its not about “getting into a relationship” its about getting into a relationship with the guy who thinks you’re the bees knees and couldn’t imagine his life without you in it.
Trust me, you never want to settle for Mr. Flake, Mr. Wishy Washy, Mr. I don’t know what I want; Mr. Playing the field, Mr. I’m confused; Mr. I just got out of a relationship—you get the gist. This man had most likely booked lots of dates with other ladies he was talking/chatting with too and weeding out the ones he didn’t want to continue with which is OK, that’s what single dating people are allowed to do and should be doing to make sure they don’t settle with someone they really aren’t super duper keen on.
Don’t take dating personally. Its no different than connecting and bonding in the same way you bond with other people. Some you don’t care to ever see or talk to again and others end up as good or best friends. Always wait for your best friend :o)
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