Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › I don't know if I shld trust him
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 2 years, 8 months ago by
Kash.
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Kylie
I have a previous bad experience of my ex cheating on me.. now I’m with a guy who is a rather private person. At times, he wld dissappear for hours and not reply me.. I noticed a pattern that he wld not reply for a few hours every Friday.. I do not know what he is doing.. am I paranoid? shld I trust him?
Ewa
why can’t you just ask him? or suggest going out on Friday?
Rubi
No you’re not paranoid. And you should know where your partner is always. I’m not saying he’s up to no good he could have a sport or a hang out with friends but whatever it is it shouldn’t be something he keeps private. I like private people but if you are going to be in a relationship with one of them, nothing should be private from you.
Talk to him about what’s on your mind and let him clear it up. Please update us after.
Gaia
I’m going to disagree with Rubi. You do not need to know where your partner is every hour of every day as you are not his mother. You are allowing your old wounds to be projected onto the new situation. That is dangerous territory. The man you are seeing is not your ex.
Ask the guy your seeing what he’s doing on Friday’s for a few hours. It’s really that simple. Then you either believe him or you don’t. He could be stopping at the bar for drinks with friends, working on a side job, going for a drive, etc.
I don’t understand the need for this constant non-stop communication in this day and age. Humans need space and need to be individuals.
Amy S
Does he work
Monday to
Friday and
Come home
Exhausted on a Friday night. I do.Eric Charles
KeymasterKylie, how long have you been dating this new guy?
Rubi
Well I certainly did not mean every hour of the day constantly checking on him and calling that’s a bit much and exhausting. A typical example is in a day you know he is at work. After work he likes to get drinks with colleagues or have a session at the gym. That’s all I meant by knowing where your partner is. Because how else would you know when something feels off or not regular behaviour if you don’t know where he usually goes etc. And if you’ve dated long you will know their routine anyway but there is a beginning to knowing someone’s routine by them showing or telling you what they do in a day. Hope this helps.
I guess I am also a person who’s trust has been broken before. Going MIA for hours and doesn’t respond when I contact them especially if they’ve done this a few times WILL put me on alert no matter if they are not my ex. So Kylie just ask him what he does on Fridays.
Kash
It is a bit fishy. But you can ask him. Then decide.
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