Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I don’t know what either of us want
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 5 years, 2 months ago by
Kim.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Katie
I just moved to a new city and I don’t have any close friends here. I met this guy through my roommate and we hit it off immediately. We both felt a strong attraction to one another. He got my number and asked me to a movie. A few days before we saw the movie we ended up hooking up (not sex but more than a makeout). The movie was fun and we kept spending time together (mostly kissing/watching movies, but one other date) and saw eachother almost everyday for maybe 2 weeks. I started to feel like I only wanted to be friends with him so I told him we shouldn’t hook up again. He had told me he didn’t want any expectations, while I am looking for a monogamous relationship. After I told him that we hung out once more as friends a few days later and it was so fun and I realized how much I actually like him as a person. He is so cute and fun and handsome and I think we have a lot in common and have great vibes between us. However, after that evening we didn’t talk much and I didn’t see him for about a week. Since he’s one of my only friends and since I’m really attracted to him and like his personality, I ended up reaching out to him and we made plans and we hooked up again. Our correspondence since then has been brief. I don’t think he’s trying to cut me off. He is going out of town for a while so I realize he is busy. I’m just confused because I know he is attracted to me and he is sweet to me and seems to like me when we are together, but I don’t know who else he is dating or if he is willing to be my friend or if he just wants me when he wants to hook up or what. I guess I should just talk to him but I don’t want to freak him out. He doesn’t seem that in-tune with what I want or need from him, yet he is open with me about his problems and seems a little emotionally selfish. He is really so nice, so I don’t think he’s a player I just like he is 24 and doesn’t want to be tied down. I guess I like him but he doesn’t seem to be looking for the same things as me. Should I be strong and cut off talking to him completely? Try to be his friend and not hook up anymore (how do you even make that transition?), tell him how I feel, or keep being his once-in-a-while hook up friend?
Katie
*I just think he is 24 and doesn’t want to be tied down
Newbie
If youre looking for a bf then this is not your guy. You knew that already when he told you to have no expectations and his not consistent behaviour. You should date other guys and when it comes to this one: you have two options, consider it casual and have zero expectations about it going deeper or stop having sex with him
kaye
I think you are new in town, a little lonely and so you’ve latched onto the first guy you met. Just a couple weeks in and you pull back and say you just want to be friends with him. But then you hang out as friends and realize you really are attracted to him so you hook up again. Now he’s being short and quiet with his communication so you are confused. There is nothing to be confused about. He is attracted to you, wants to hook up with you but doesn’t want any expectations of a relationship. He is telling you if you want FWB then he’s good with that, if you want a monogamous relationship then you need to look somewhere else. Plain and simple.
Kim
This guy has made it clear what he’s looking for. He wants a FWB type situation. If you’re ok with that it’s fine, but just understand that a FWB situation is just sex. It’s not a boyfriend so he is entitled to find other friends.
Figure out what it is that you want. If you want a committed relationship tell him. If he can’t give you that have some respect for yourself and look elsewhere. Don’t settle for anything less than what you want. This guy is not going to magically want to be committed to you if you’re giving him no string attached sex.
-
AuthorPosts
