I Don't Think Dating is for me

Also adding some points, he gave the money before he dropped me off the one we were cursing about. First when I was at his place he said he would get it and he helped me with my bags, didn’t think he was going to break up with me and on the ride home I was thinking he said that to get me out the house. And then he gave me and then added the speech of friends etc and I am wondering why would he give me … Is it pay off to get me out his life? Also I left a watch he gave me at his place and I said he should keep it and he said that he gifted me, he will bring it by the gym.

I know I should be relieved that it ended and I am , but we really did have fun and had the same interest overall. Was it all a trick to sleep with me ? I mean I slept over and ofc he tried to have sex etc, I was in the same bed with him. But I wasn’t my happiest. There is a part of me that wants him to stay.

You dodged a bullet. I’m not entirely sure what your question is. Are you second guessing yourself because the flags were so red but also he showed interest and wasn’t all bad? That doesn’t matter, if someone’s all bad no one would ever stick around! You noticed the most important things: words and actions don’t match, boundaries were often inappropriate (talking about moving in after 3 weeks???), and he lied to you about random things. It doesn’t matter his motivations, if it’s for sex or because he has mental health issues, just be confident that staying away is 100% for the best! That doesn’t mean dating isn’t for you, but dating him or someone like him sure isn’t. Luckily, plenty of people are not like that.

If you think you may have issues that draw you to be attracted to or to tolerate men like this, look into insecurity, low self esteem, emotionally unavailable, and attachment styles as a place to start. Sometimes when people have past trauma or issues in one or all of these areas, they do tend to unconsciously pair off with bad partners and end up in unhappy situations over and over until they get to the root of it on their own. But it’s absolutely possible to move beyond and find a good partner if you want to, especially as you’re at a normal age to start questioning all this.

Maddie I was questioning it like, was it me and after writing all of this I realizes I didn’t stick to my boundaries because of him which is a No no. I thought I deserved all the good stuff he was doing, complimenting me, cooking for me, listening to me, giving massages etc. I wrote all what I wanted after my last failed 4 month dating. And he fit most of it.
He actually did unblock me on IG and called and I saw that he was close to my work place after going outside to get something. It’s a coincidence I even saw him near my work. And no he doesn’t work near this area, I was thinking he was returning the watch but he didn’t text or anything, just called when he was near which I missed. I told my mom and she said either he is obsessed or weird either way be careful. After writing this and all that, it’s too much. Feels like I am sufficating again. I will avoid him.