Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › I drunk texted him – what now?! Quick intervention needed
- This topic has 25 replies and was last updated 5 years, 1 month ago by
Avalanche.
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Avalache
I regret the message I sent at 3 am not sober. It was about the feelings I had for him, that I’m sorry it didn’t work out, hard time I had in work. I don’t know if he’ll ever see it. He doesn’t want anything with me which I get! Message could have been worse but it’s still bad enough.
What to do? Leave it? I wish there was to way to unsend but no. Tell me, should I message him that I had a busy weekend, drank wine and sent it so it’s a drunken mistake? Or something else? Please! I know I did wrong but what know since I still have the chance to at least say oops, it was wine not me!Remy
Do you mean what you wrote?
Dont do anything. If he replies take it from there.Avalache
I meant it. I believe he’s not a good person which I didn’t include in my message thankfully. This message is too much, too long. Maybe he’d never read it ended up in “other messages” section because we don’t have common friends! Which is both good and bad because I’d like to know if he read it or not. Which is frustration x2.
Avalanche
It’ll be 99,9% in the spam section so he’d never read it. Not in a year at least :) Should I consider myself lucky or a ticking bomb?
Remy
Alright, I thought you had dumped him and regretted that..
If you wrote through facebook messenger you can delete your message by clicking on the small dots beside the message and chose removeAvalanche
It’s too late I can only delete it for myself :/ But he can still see if he checks this folder at all! Help! What to do?
Avalanche
Any opinions? Should I apologise or whatever?
Avalanche
Should I mention that I got emotional? Or nothing
Anon
Don’t do anything. Definitely don’t send an apology for your message, etc. Move on with your day and try not to worry about this.
Newbie
Oh girl, relax and let it go. Im sure if he reads it, he will know its a drunk send message. If youre now sending an apology you will start to look like you want his attention. Let it go, do nothing. Its not the end of the world
Lane
Do nothing! Trust me, saying anything at this point to try and deflect this drunk message will come off far worse than the message you sent! People can see right though these charades so the best thing you can do for yourself is to eat crow, suck it up, and move on by never ever contacting him again. If it requires removing him from all platforms then do it so you can reclaim your dignity and start the process of extricating him from your life.
When I received these texts bombs (what I call them) I ignore them, don’t engage, and seriously hope they will stop contacting me. He’ll most likely not respond to it, possibly delete and/or block you which is probably the best thing that could happen at this juncture so you don’t keep digging a bigger hole.
Avalanche
The only thing that makes me worry is that I’ll never know if he read it. I’m curious what he’d think. I considered using whatsapp to send the exact same message again. Is it terrible?
Avalanche
I’m asking because what i wrote was classy and I meant it. So maybe I want him to see it after all. Whatsapp or SMS,
Sensy
You need to keep moving forward and working on yourself since you are desiring someone that you know is not a good person.
Avalanche
Having him read my message I’ll leave it up to destiny then. He wasn’t right for me anyway. I just needed to get some things off my chest. He probably wouldn’t appreciate it anyway.
Ames
He’ll see the message was sent at 3 am on a Friday night. So he’ll probably know you were drunk..And you could’ve been out at a holiday party or something..so DO NOT say anything. If you act embarrassed or send any further messages he’ll prob think you care too much and possibly block you. Which who cares anyways. Delete his # from your phone! That way you can’t send anything in the future. Or block it…If he’s not a good person who cares! He might not even read the whole thing if it’s super long. Just go about your day and write it off as a drunken mistake. Most people have done this before–including him. And seriously who cares what he thinks..:)
Avalanche
Who cares! Me might think I’m a polar bear, it doesn’t change a thing. I’d love if he came crawling back but probably it would be a fleeting moment of victory. Not to mention it’s an impossible scenario. Ames, almost everyone did this mistake drunk texting, you’re so right. Nothing happened! :)
Newbie
Im sorry but the polar bear made me laugh. You probably mean bi-polar. Avalanche your anxiousness about this guy is coming through cristal clear. And thats almost always a sign that the guy was wrong for you and wouldnt commit. Just really try to let it go and think of other things to do. This will fade away
Sophia
I’m going to paraphrase what you’ve written:
– I regret the message that I sent when drunk…
– He doesn’t want anything to do with me, which I get…
– I believe he’s not a good person…
– I’ll never know if he read it. I’m curious what he’d think…
– I want him to read it and am thinking of resending it…I think you wrote it in the first place because you wanted a response from him and would be able to use the “I was drunk” excuse. Send it now in the sober light of day and what’s the excuse?
If he wants nothing to do with you he’s not going to respond. You’ll probably be ignored. Or he could write back totally telling you off. Would that make you feel better?
I fear you think that by his reading your long emotional message it will somehow make him change his mind. Especially when you say you’ll “leave it up to destiny”. If he wants nothing to do with you, you already have your reality.
You wanted to get things off your chest and you did. Last night. Feel better knowing you said what you had to say and leave it at that. Otherwise I’m afraid you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak.
Avalanche
I deleted my post and that’s what I call a sign. He doesn’t deserve my time. I’ll leave it at “polar bear” bipolar. I’m laughing too.
You know what, I explained my feelings and apologised for the bad things that I’ve done. I shouldn’t care if he thinks about me from time to time. We were and are done. He knows I’m still not over him but so what. At least I got it off my chest like you said. Drunken text is annoying. At least text itself was classy and I believe a classy exit ending is always the right one.dumb
Why are you holding onto and e-mailing someone you say is not a good person? Rediculous.
If he’s not a good person, why should you care what he thinks?
If he is not a good person, why talk to him at all?
If he wants nothing to do with you that makes me think you are not the good person.
Avalanche
First 3 points valid but you lost me on the last one. Your reply is very bitter in contrast to everyone else’s. I wish the worst offence anyone could commit is sending a drunken text that someone doesn’t want to receive.
redcurleysue
We only regret what we do not do at the end of our life. You threw your hat in the ring now leave it alone. Either he will pick the hat up or not. End of story.
hs
I don’t know if you want to get back together with him or not. On the one hand you say you sent a nice classy message, but then state he isn’t a good person. So here’s the deal. COMMUNICATE!!!! If you have something to say to him, just say it. Send a whatsapp or some form of communication that you’re sure he’ll receive. Then leave it up to him to respond. Too many people leaves too many things unsaid, and just saying something can change everything
Better off single
It sounds bitter, that’s how you took it. I generalize pretty much everything. In your post you seem hurt and angry. He chose someone else, so i understand your pain. I’ve been there too. Does it really make him a bad person?
We all end up doing some kind of emotional mis-step like that. Some more than others. Some people know (consciously or not) how to push those buttons bringing out the worst in you. You either learn from the shame so it doesn’t happen again (control your impulses better) to move past it, or let it mark you. causing you to constantly question your self worth and put up with poor treatment in the future. Choice is yours.
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