I embarrassed my boyfriend while completely drunk & he broke up with me? Help!!

This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 9 years, 5 months ago by Annie.

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January 2, 2015 at 6:54 pm #388208

Joanna Smith

weve been dating for 5 months, i didnt eat before we went out on NYE and i had one too many drinks and completely blacked out, while my body was still functioning. We were at a house party with my friends and his close couple friends ( the girl is his BFF), and apparently i got in huge argument with his BFF’s (girl) boyfriend. i cussed her boyfriend out and talked about his privates saying he was small and a loser. (ive never had relations with him nor would i want to ) the girl then asked me what her boyfriend said to me, and whatever i responded to her was enough to start a huge argument with her and her boyfriend and They argued, then ended up getting kicked out of party….They blamed me and told my BF “Your crazy a** gf got us kicked out the party ” ( they have a reputation for the 3 times ive hung out with them, and heard stories in the 5 months dating my guy that they always fight drunk and break up makeup and take “breaks” – from the start i could see they have an unheathy relationship- ANW non of my business) after they got kicked out, she left without her bf bc she was angry with him and had to take a taxi home and claimed that she was almost raped. Her Boyfriend went after her in a rush and ended up crashing their car and getting arrested for a DUI! Facts:Everyone was very drunk, and i know now i blacked out because i dont remember much, just i woke up with my angry boyfriend and he broke up with me because he said it was all my fault that all this happened and i humiliated him. I have blacked out like that in the past, years ago even,and dont normally drink that much or at all for the past 3 NYE’s. But this year i just wanted to let lose…Im not excusing my behavior. i called him all day apologizing, and telling him to please give me another chance as this one horrible night cannot accumulate the WHOLE 5 months weve been together (which is great) I made a mistake by not stopping to drink and even took full responsibility for everything. I even sent his friends an apology email and the girl bff basically told My Boyfriend, that she “knows girls like me and that he needs to stay away from me” Mind you she’s almost 40 and dresses like a 20 somthing, and has a kid. Im not being judgmental, but i feel no one is perfect and everyones had their embarrasing moments. ( my bf is 28 and i am 30) My boyfriend Just told me its over, and hung up on me and says ” doesnt want to be associated with a girl like me” His BFF and her man are always that drama, insecure about each other it seems ANW. My bf wont listen to me bc thats his bff and i understand her opinion matters so much. What Else can i do to make things better??

January 2, 2015 at 7:02 pm #388212

Ashley

Don’t do anything else. It was one night, everyone is responsible for their own actions, they knew it was new years, so to be so harsh towards you isn’t cool in my book. Being mean to you won’t solve their problems. They’re immature. Don’t do anything else. You apologized. if he wants to end an otherwise good relationship on one night of you getting a little out of control, that’s immature.. I could understand him being upset, but everyone gets black out drunk once in a while. Don’t say anything else to any of them

May 31, 2015 at 9:43 am #432166

A passive stranger

I cannot believe what you have just said . No. not everyone gets “Blackout drunk” once in a while. That is an absolutely disgusting and absurd allegation to throw at everyone. I feel bad for your partner.

May 31, 2015 at 10:05 am #432169

Jenn Cheung

Hey Joanna. I can understand if you are feeling restless or trying to think of ways to get him back, but frankly I do think that the best thing for you to do right now is to wait. Let’s face it. You made a mistake, there’s no excuse for what you had done that night. Your boyfriend felt seriously disappointed and possibly humiliated in front of his friends. And in this case he is most likely not going to change his mind in anytime soon. He will probably need time to withdraw. Of course you can always go after him and try many ways to express how terribly sorry you are, but I doubt if that would be effective since he is still pretty much caught up in his anger. I know it is going to be difficult but perhaps the wait is necessary. If I were you, I would text him up one last time simply telling him “I’m sorry” and that’s it. I wouldn’t try to force him to be in touch with me. I would just wait until this thing cools down. And meanwhile I think it would be useful to maybe reflect on why and how that night turned out to be the way it was and how you can improve myself. Instead of drowning in the past mistakes, it is more important to be self forgiving (without giving yourself any excuses) and to maybe develop healthier hobbies or habits – which may make you a better person and also help him to see you under new lights afterwards. Good luck girl!

May 31, 2015 at 12:41 pm #432186

redcurleysue

I have a different take on the matter…if these are his BFF and boyfriend then who is this guy?

It is said you can measure a person by the 5 closest people to them…so what does it say about him that these are his “close” friends? Let’s think on that a little while….

June 1, 2015 at 3:20 pm #432463

Annie

Miss redcurlysue I agree with you. Sounds like all behaved badly and you get the blame.

I have blacked out before, and you must accept that you drink too much.

Drinking is actually un-lady-like, but we surely all do it.

Enough with the apologizing. What if you had not been drinking, would things have still gotten crazy? These people don’t sound like the best type with whom to be friends.
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